I have beat this horse to death back and forth with Cinco already...and have finally come to understand that his wife has decided for herself that she is "old" or "middle aged" and that "middle aged women do not do x, y, or z" and that "middle aged people should not be making fools of themselves trying to look sexy or have sex".
So I finally got it sunk into my head that Mrs. Cinco simply refuses to look or feel sexy, in general.
And I doubt that is going to change unless or until Cinco makes an ultimatium and IF she chooses to get her sexy back FOR REAL AND FOREVER this time....
On the other hand, I know she is perfectly capable of doing so, she just needs to change her mind about the "old" thing. Until she does, I don't think Cinco buying her something cute to wear would make one bit of difference (exception being the birthday thing).
Lucky - I have Birks too. I have one plastic pair that I wear as pool shoes and I have one pair of the classic two strap leather ones I wear as sandals occasionally mostly around the house.
Birks are great... worn when they are appropriate.
Mrs. Cinco has like 40 pairs of these things (I'm actually afraid to count). She wears them ALL the time. She was overjoyed when she found out she could wear then to her job. I'm frankly surprised that she didn't wear them to my niece's wedding. I understand comfort but sometimes style overrides comfort.
DQ's right about buying sexy things for her. Besides she has tons of cute stuff, she just doesn't wear them. On our anniversary I got her a silk chemise, that was the only time she wore it. She just prefers the saggy baggy comfy flannel stuff.
DQ's right it's the "I'm OLD" attitude W has. I didn't comment over on DQ's thread but I see myself as that same 20 something guy still. I look in the mirror a say to myself, "Wow Cinco you still look pretty good."
I'm dying laughing (not at you, but how you wrote the post). FORTY???? Holy ----.
Maybe you should redefine Birks and flannels and do her when she's wearing both. Maybe you can turn it around in your mind. RIP the flannel, THROW the shoe. I don't know, man.
In all seriousness, I have seen flannel and Birks on a hot person or two. Hot is hot and it just oozes. And, I've seen some that have worn sexy stuff, but it's more like putting lipstick on a pig--the sexy just isn't in there.
Could you see it as, she's so sexy and natural, it transcends whatever she's wearing?
Hmmmm this actually isn't too bad of an idea Lucky.
We have... um ... ML in the flannel plenty of times. Usually when I didn't bother taking them off of her first. I do like the idea of ripping them off...hmmm. Silk and satin ARE my preference though and what really turn me on.
It's funny you mentioned throwing the shoe. Do you know how to tell the difference between an Italian shoe and a German shoe in the dark???
The German shoe will have enough heft to it to throw at the ally cat keeping you awake at night.
Lucky you made me smile tonight and I really needed that. Thanks for lifting my spirit.
I'm glad that made you laugh. I couldn't stop laughing, either. What a scene. I could see Steve Martin playing your role.
I know what a tough time you are having finding employment. You are probably unable to spend much energy thinking about anything but survival right now. That is OK!
I know you're thinking hard about your next move with your W, but I don't know if now is the time. You need to feel stable and know where your next loaf of bread is coming from before going on to the next levels of Maslow's hierarchy. I've been told to never try to make big decisions in dire times, because you can't possibly have a clear head when stress is clouding it up. Your facing finding a new job and then starting a new job (earning your ranks) -- that is stressful! I would think after you've settled in a new employment situation, you'll be in a better head to decide on how you want to proceed with making earthquakes at home... unless you're a real brazen type who likes to throw everything into the fire at once (to hell with the outcome). But, I don't get that vibe that about you and I sense that you need some security somewhere in your life right now.
So, maybe snuggling up with your soft, cuddly, flannel-clad W can be kind of nice... And slipping your hand underneath to caress her skin can feel sooo good. Remember when you were very young and just discovering sexuality with your "firsts"? They weren't wearing silk and satin, right? They were wearing whatever they wore to school that day. Just feeling another body through fabric was a rush. Even more was the touch of skin, and peeking underneath here and there. Each tiny little advance brought a tidal wave of passion within. In the beginning, we were able to find great sensuality in each other without much pre-meditated preparation. To me, that was HOT beyond hot. I know you're not that young boy anymore, but maybe you can tap into him somehow to enjoy your W more "as is."
I hope my thoughts help in some way. If not, at least we can laugh a bit.
Hey Cinco. I am sorry you are having such a tough time. But I did read thong in your thread didnt I? I smiled when I read that... I have not been able to sign on for more than a minute or 2. I have missed you all. I am doing amazingly well. I have grown so much. I feel so self confident now. I have not been able to keep up too much just peeking in your thread here and there. And sorry I didn't give you a heads up you were going to get a black eye over there. I hope you will still keep going back if you feel comfortable. I have grown to love them as I do you all. They help me to see parts of me I don't. I do know from what little I have been able to keep up with, that you are moving forward. Your 'spirit' isn't as stuck as it was. You are still in my prayers and you are such an incredible person.
I saw the Movie MY BEST FRIENDS GIRL w/hubby the other day and they played a Duffy song on it. I thought of you. I wish you all the best amigo. I thank you for your well wishes on my thread. You were right. I pulled it off. I did it. I am doing it still. I am the beautiful person you always told me I was and ....
I am getting the respect I have always deserved. I am so thankful for you gently reminding me to not 'allow' myself to be treated badly. You didn't roll your eyes at me or judge me. Thank you~ It took me awhile but yes I do have my MOJO back. You are right... Thanks for that compliment BTW. Love ya and hope you remember to keep smiling. Ali
Ok, big light bulb moment-revelation...Cinco, you're wife and I are polar opposites! No wonder I don't get her. She wants to be middle aged and "retire" from "competition" in a way. Ey-yi-yi-yi-yi!
Man, I have worked so hard NOT to grow up to be my mother and her friends. Dumpy, flower print dowdy clothes, mumsy hairstyles, and the worst is when we appear that way, or look older at all, we get the ageism thing where people look at us like we're past it, couldn't possibly know anything and are probably so far behind in modern technology because we went to school in a horse drawn cart. AAaaggggghhh. I hate that! Then there are the people who talk to us as though we're already into senile dementia. Like patting granny on the head when you visit her at the "home".
A long time ago Nike had ads for running shoes that showed 40 yr old women wearing Nike running gear, running on the road in rain, wind, having a blast & said something about the 20 yr old girl that was still inside them. Amen. I will never have short gray hair in a crispy perm no matter how old I am. I will never wear elastic waist "women's jeans" from Penneys. And if the hot flashes don't stop, I'll never wear fuzzy nighties either. Oh, by the way, fleece is the new flannel. LOL. Actually, I wore big T shirts a lot..just the shirts
Those women from the generation before mine never seemed to do anything really fun. I never saw one on a bike, or skates, or goofing around. Sex lives? Um-we couldn't picture that.
Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional. Don't play dead before you have to. I have no idea how to fix someone who doesn't live that philosophy. My first mother-in-law once told me I was never going to grow up. I haven't and I'm damn glad. Didn't want to grow up to be her either. I guess its all about role models. Or anti-models. Your W did see "Something's Gotta Give" right?
Hang tough. The more you show you're happy with events like last weekend, the more she'll try. I"m sending you mental energy! J
me: 66 H:60 2 adult sons 2 grandsons adult daughter deceased 5/05 me:Part time trainer H: plant suprv.
Yes you read that right a thong! It was a pleasant and unexpected surprise.
I'm still getting the eyes rolling any time I kiss her passionately in the middle of the day or I ask if she wants to fool around. "H, you've got a one track mind." It's fun to think about though.
I'm so happy to hear that you are doing so well Ali. How could you not do well, when it is so obvious that you love your H so much? He is finally letting your love enter his heart.
It gives me hope that Mrs. Cinco and I can find a way into each other's hearts too.
Jayce -
Well I installed the big ceiling fan a couple of years ago so I'm way ahead of you. It's sort of a given down here anyway. We've always had a ceiling fan once I got the time to get them installed. Remember I live down here where we wear T-shirt have the time in the winter.
In warmer weather W does wear t-shirts to bed. Still wish they were sexier things... or better yet nude.
Good news is W's hairstyle is young looking and long (Gosh I love her hair). Also she is into make-up and knows how to make herself very attractive when she wants to. She even has a subscription to Allure magazine, to give you an idea.
That has been the best part of her working working again. I'm getting to see her daily making herself look very nice and get out of those danged sweats.
I do show her I'm happy when we get to have nice evenings like last weekend. I suggested we plan for a romantic evening tonight. I'm hopeful it will happen too.
She just prefers the saggy baggy comfy flannel stuff.
I hope you will still keep going back if you feel comfortable.
