Quoting lostlove: suppose I can answer my own question...our saftey depends on no one but ourselves? hmmmm but if it is our own responsibility to keep safe then how can we have any true intimate relationships with others?
well...this is a constant struggle for me...on really good days, my quick answer is "because no matter what happens I'll be ok". On not so good days my answer is "the only way to be totally safe is to isolate myself in a cabin in the woods"
Struggling a bit with this one myself today...feeling some fear (back to the "things are going really well" feeling) combined with "how does this not happen again" combined with some other anxieties (job, family, school, etc).
Crap, I'm a basket case today!!! (Just kidding)
Here's my cainer hororscope for today...always uplifting!
Why are some people so deeply opinionated? Is it because they find it so hard to sail on the sea of uncertainty? Fearful that they may capsize the craft of confidence and drown in the ocean of open-mindedness, they cling to the lifeboat of belief. Yet in holding on to our big ideas so tightly we deprive ourselves of the ability to make a genuine discovery. People who think they know everything can never find out anything. Be glad of the doubts you are now entertaining, they represent your passport to a new world of enlightenment and opportunity.
so sounds like all that anxiety = BIG PAYOFF
Quote: btw....I feel so much of what you've been posting lately (the scary stuff that is) that it's almost scary...I notice some others are saying the same...I wonder...are we all somehow predisposed to such sits? do we all have some underlying connection that lead us here (not in the x-files sense) some common traits? I suppose we do. humph?
I think that there's a diverse group of folks here but that we're drawn to particular threads because they resonate for one reason or another...I DO see similarities in lots of the sitchs over here ....maybe there's something in common for us that draws us to DB'ing? That draws us to posting on BBs?
Dunno...but I am glad (in a freaky way) that others can relate to my thoughts and that I can relate to theirs!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
btw....I feel so much of what you've been posting lately (the scary stuff that is) that it's almost scary...I notice some others are saying the same...I wonder...are we all somehow predisposed to such sits? do we all have some underlying connection that lead us here (not in the x-files sense) some common traits? I suppose we do. humph? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think that there's a diverse group of folks here but that we're drawn to particular threads because they resonate for one reason or another...I DO see similarities in lots of the sitchs over here ....maybe there's something in common for us that draws us to DB'ing? That draws us to posting on BBs?
HA! I very often wonder about this myself. I think of it one of two ways: 1) Either we're pathetic, co-dependent people who are drawn to individuals with issues due to our own pasts; or 2) We're old souls that are more willing to examine ourselves and our potential in the universe...and are thus, willing to forgive for the greater good...
Quote: 2) We're old souls that are more willing to examine ourselves and our potential in the universe...and are thus, willing to forgive for the greater good...
i like this as well...i think this is it!!!
sage...you got me looking at horoscopes these days, which i NEVER EVER did...here is mine today...(virgo)
Some things just can’t be done. Some goals just can’t be reached. Some targets just can’t be achieved. Some dividing lines just have to be drawn. Some shoulders just have to be shrugged. I say this, not to discourage you, but simply to frame the following forecast in a credible context. Knowing full well that certain things in this world actually are impossible, we must also acknowledge the other side of the coin. Amazing miracles can, and do, occur from time to time. Your great secret dream is far less of a hopeless fantasy than you fear.
i have been needing a title for a new thread, and i got it from this
my great secret dream
HA - glad to see your hanging in there. i love to see your positives. i have been a bit down lately, but i am coming back up and i am ready to start posting again
I've been pondering those eerie similarities in many our our personalities etc and I think you (it was you I THINK) may have hit on it with the fact that we DO gravitate towards threads which resonate with us.
There are many others on here who have different issues and I find myself drawn more to those who share my own.
Of course the very reason we're all HERE will draw out similarities (doubts, trust issues, etc).
I like to think of it as a positive thing too, Jethro. I think that although we may share some neuroses, WE at least are willing to acknowledge them, search for their origins and work through them!
There are many others on here who have different issues and I find myself drawn more to those who share my own.
I'm drawn to those with similar issues and also tend to be drawn to DB'ers who are here after they have had an affair and want to regain trust. what's that called? Projection? Transference? It's one of those psych terms, right?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Yes, similar sitchs can draw us to certain threads, but for me that's not always the attraction. Sometimes it's the poster's good attitude that I admire and draw strength from (e.g. see sunseeker and KAW) - other times I like the practical, no holds-barred approach to a sitch (the great wiley or workinghard) - and finally, I need probing wisdom (provided so well by you, sage).
In fact our sitch's couldn't be more different, but perhaps our situational differences help us to provide one another with "detached" and uncomprimising advice that we may be too clouded within our own sitch's to be able to see for ourselves.
(Just kidding)
