When I got home from work Wife left a note on our message board..
"HAPPPY BIRTHDAY"
Now this may sound silly to some of you but this really means allot to me. It means she was thinking about me and my day... When I went into the kitchen there were ants all over the table so I had to clean that up...
Ok here are some things Doc had learned to do... He is learning to listen and learning to not be like a kid when he does something and act like. Look what I did... look what I did....
So yesterday I told wife I needed to go to the store to get some spackle to fix a wall in the garage. She said that there was also a crack on the wall in her office that needed fixing. On the way home I stopped at the store and got the spackle and first fixed the crack on the wall in Wife's office. I did it before she came home from work. (Listening)... And I will not say anything about it if she notices it great if not oh well... Anyway I was outside when Wife came home for lunch and she came outside and said "Happy birthday" to me..
Again she made the effort. It may have been just me but I swear in the recent past Wife went out of her way to not show any emotion. She went out of her way not to... (As she put it).. "Get my hopes up".
Stay tuned for more updates..
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
The night went great.. Youngest D showed up and wanted to go so we went out for OlD C. Pizzia. The palor was noisey so I could not ask Dare 5 questions. After we walked down town and then there was this little carnaval that was in town so we stopped there for a little while Spent $25.00 and won a $1.00 toy. When we got home I stopped wife and held her hand and kissed her and told her thanks for the fantastic B Day.. SHe said "you still have more tomorrow"....
Night Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
If you were around last year you remember I went to Las Vegas for my B-day. It may sound "fun" but it was not. I spent a week by myself. I mean I did enjoy visiting the ghost towns. But no matter what people say. I am can not find happiness alone. I do need someone to share my life with. Anyway I sent Wife an e-mail yesterday....
Wife,
Thank you so much for the wonderful time I had last night. I was 100% better that my b-day last year. I am trying to become a better husband and father and I would like it if you could take a minute and answer a question for me. I am going to be asking (our son) the same question. I know you can probably come up with more but ….
What are three things that cause you to be uncomfortable or irritated with me? Please be honest.
Love Doc
I have not received a reply yet.
MIL took us to Dinner last night. Son, SIL, and Wife’s cousin and her husband came along. Dinner was really nice. After we went to MIL house and watched a Movie. When we got home I did not pursue a kiss. I figured that Wife may have been thinking that I was expecting one. I am not doing anything thinking that I will get something in return. I thanked her for that nice time and she said "don't thank me thank my mom" I told her that If it were not for her I would not have met her mom.. so I just acted "as if" and after a while went to bed.
This morning I sent W another E-mail..
You are not getting off easy on this one... What are three things that cause you to be uncomfortable or irritated with me? Please be honest.
There will be no need to justify your answers. They are your prospective.
I am assuming you needed a little time to think about these
WARNING...... You will be getting this e-mail again/
Love Doc.
Monday I am starting day 6 even if I do not get a reply...
Day 6: Love is not irritable
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
—Proverbs 16:32
TODAY’S DARE
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
I am not sure what it means :
making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule."
can anyone help me out on this? I am just a country boy
I will keep sending Wife the Day 5 questions until I get a response.
Boy it must suck to have somebody Love you....
It's raining today so I will spend the day watching the DVD's wife and son got me for my B-Day..
Take care Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
if you keep sending that email, it may top the list of things that irritate her!
(That wasn't too mean, was it?)
I am reading a book on living out love in all areas of your life, and patience comes up a LOT. If you send the same questions over and over, that is not very patient.... I know you want the answers but I just think if you push it with the emails it will not help you because you guys seem to be making good progress so far.
Thanks but this is hard. But I am learning something about myself.
Originally Posted By: BobbiJo
(don't hate me!)
if you keep sending that email, it may top the list of things that irritate her!
(That wasn't too mean, was it?)
Hate You??? No way have I needed all of the 2x4' I can get.. I think Sara & Gabrielle have gone through enough with me to build a small house by now...
Originally Posted By: BobbiJo
I am reading a book on living out love in all areas of your life, and patience comes up a LOT. If you send the same questions over and over, that is not very patient.... I know you want the answers but I just think if you push it with the emails it will not help you because you guys seem to be making good progress so far.
YES you are right. I have read and have been trying to practice the same thing. But sometimes "practices" counter each other. It is hard to know which one is right for each circumstance. As for the e-mails??
After reading your reply I agree. I was not going to pursue it anymore and just move on to day 6 BUT..........
Checking my e-mail this morning I found this.....
Doc. I don't know why this matters. I can think of several things that irritate me about a lot of people, including myself. It doesn't mean I think less of them or don't want to be around them. And it depends on my mood how I'm affected by the particular characteristic.
If you must have an answer, then 1. Getting emails like this (Yep you were right bbj) 2. Talking in a condescending way 3. Making small talk when I'm busy or in my space
So my first reply was: (I did not send this)
Thank you,
"It doesn't mean I think less of them or don't want to be around them."
Sorry but this was not about you. It's about me. I want to become a better person. I am trying to taking the initiative to better myself. To be a better person around everybody, including our son.
Again Thank you,
Now you can return to your regular broadcasting system This has been a public service announcement.
Love Doc
But reading it I felt is was "condescending" so I ended up sending...
Thank you very much,
Now you can return to your regular broadcasting system This has been a public service announcement.
I hope your day goes well
Love Doc
So I am still learning...we have come along way..
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Good for you Doc! I am trying to see everything with new eyes so I can learn and not just do what I have always done. I can see you are doing the same.
And hey she did answer the email so that is a good thing!
So I found this dare to be the hardest so far. Not that I was worried about what my wife would say. It was finding the right time to approach her. I ended up sending and E- mail. If I did not get an answer I was just going to go on to day 6. Well I received a reply:
I don't know why this matters. I can think of several things that irritate me about a lot of people, including myself. It doesn't mean I think less of them or don't want to be around them. And it depends on my mood how I'm affected by the particular characteristic.
If you must have an answer, then 1. Getting emails like this 2. Talking in a condescending way 3. Making small talk when I'm busy or in my space
So what I found was that was not an "attack" on me. She did give me some info on what bothers her about me, but what I have read into this (especially the first part) is that she recognizes that she has problems with everyone INCLUDING herself.
It was hard not justifying numbers #2. I don't feel I am making "small talk" when I talk to her. I am truly interested in what she is doing. And for the first part I wanted to say that this was not about HER, It is about me trying to become a better person.........but instead I Just replied "thanks"
So now I can move on with Dare 6. I do feel like I am back on track now.
Now I need to find out what I say to her that she feels is "condescending". Does she feel I do this to everyone? Or just her. I am not going to worry about it right now. I am going to just keep track on how I approach things when I say things. I have been trying to do this anyway and I may have already taken care of this issue but I do not know. Even though I do feel that when I "talked" to her when she was in her office it was not "small talk" but a true interest in what she was doing I will try not to "disturb her".
Later Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
