Hey Jeff... you really feeling ok? It doesnt seem like you are hanging onto the hope of this being one of those sitches where they have to end it and leave, in order to realise what they have lost. Seems you just accept that its over? Thats how I am reading it anyway.
I agree on the kids thing.. but is she planning to move out imminently then? (I thought you said July), would it be better to wait a while? Sometimes though, when the decisions made, you just want to own it hey, telling people makes it more real.
For me having the kids know was a horrible experience but also there is some degree of relief. Now Dan and I can mention the house and not have to whisper off in another room....your wife could pull up houses on the internet or even visit some with a realtor and not feel like she was on a stealth mission, know what I mean?
Just a thought. It is never pleasant to tell the kids but it does get rid of some of that dread......
Sorry I wasn't online yesterday. Seems like I missed a ton!
That sounds like quite a conversation. Glad you were ready for it. I'm sure there will still be a range of emotions though.
It's always possible there is a surprise ending.
I find it very interesting about the quilt. Seems like she was insulted/hurt that you never asked her to make one and instead bought one. Also interesting that she said she would make one for you if you wanted. She definitely likes having her work appreciated in a very tangible way.
Good luck at work.
And take care of you. (((((((Jeff)))))))
And neener neener to the girls, since I've already met you!
P.S. I can touch my tongue to my nose, can't roll it though.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
((((((Ali))))))((((((BobbiJo))))))((((((Michelle)))))) I am really ok. I'm tired, but being up til 3:30 the other night didn't help that! And I must have done something this weekend to my back, I started noticing it Sunday afternoon, and it has been bothering me since. What's weird is it hurts the most when I laying down, until I find just the right position! I'm sure that hasn't been helping sleep!
I am not at all thinking that she needs to leave to come back. It doesn't feel that way to me. This isn't how I wanted things to be, and I am not happy about it, but I am ok with it. And I think that in the end I am going to be a lot happier. As Michelle said, and I think I've said a few times, there might be an unexpected change to the plot, but I am not expecting it or pinning any hopes on it.
She needs to be moved by July, in her master plan. So things will have to start happening sooner than later. As BBJ said, telling the kids will help, in that that we will be able to talk about things in the open.
I don't think she was upset that I bought a comforter (don't confuse that for a quilt! ) for the bed rather than asking for a quilt. A quilt like that could easily be a year long project, or more! I think she was kind of surprised that she had never made one for me, rather than insulted. I think it may say something about her feelings for me, going back a long way. And that might have made he see that a bit. I may well ask her to make one. It might well go on the wall rather than the bed!
Hmmm, I can stick my tongue out and touch my nose. But not with my tongue!
Have I ever mentioned that I think you guys are all great?
Ya know Jeff, you and your W (Charlotte?) talk about stuff and talk about things and how to divide stuff and things and she never made you a quilt.
You don't mention any R talk of feelings and emotions. You say 'I think' and then say what W might feel. Why not ask her instead of thinking you know? Ex: W, how do you feel when you realized that I am one of the few people that doesn't have one of your quilts?
IMO you're not DBing to save the M now. You want to keep it amicable thru the separating process. If asking your W about her emotions will jeopardize that then don't ask.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I may talk to W about how she feels, at some point. At this point I think we are both comfortable with a certain amount of discussion, but not too much.
Oh, W also asked if I would be upset if she went back to her maiden name. I said no, it wouldn't bother me. She probably never should have changed it in the first place. I don't think she was ever comfortable with it.
) for the bed rather than asking for a quilt. A quilt like that could easily be a year long project, or more! I think she was kind of surprised that she had never made one for me, rather than insulted. I think it may say something about her feelings for me, going back a long way. And that might have made he see that a bit. I may well ask her to make one. It might well go on the wall rather than the bed!
