Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Another Wife Hit With the Bomb #10

Good luck with your move TAWNYA, glad your H noticed that you are no push-over. Good job.

{{{V}}} thank you my valentine!

{{PM}} thanks for the good thoughts and thank you!

{{{MC}}} Aww Tom..I always feel so special when you take a minute to hop on my thread and say hi

Tawnya

{{{T}}}

That lemonade is the SWEETEST you have EVER made.

BTW, it all went during my party, so go make some more.

You are a strong person and no matter what, you will come out of all this with your head held high and your heart in the right place.

Take Care today.

{{{Silva}}} I dunno how much lemonade I will make today..as soon as I heard the garage door open up this morning my heart sunk into my chest and I was like "ok..I have to get out of here" LOL..

So..we'll see if I can muster up some lemonade at some point..but otherwise..sigh..it's definitely a sour lemons day at the moment, so everyone keep telling me I will be ok

Tawnya

Tawnya,

You will be okay, even if you do not feel that way right this moment, you will. You are strong and you will make it through this.

I am here if you need me.

V.

{{{T}}}

I read your S.O.S., you will be OK!! If not today, tomorrow.

I did exactly the same as you after the move - saw the empty places and filled them where I could. But not more than needed. Let me explain - I decided to do without some of the changes to remind me of my H, what happened and what needs to change? I was too afraid of glossing over the sitch, not dealing with the pain, and falling into the trap of remembering all the good times. I also, packed away the photos of the wedding and honeymoon so I wouldn't be tempted - I have to go to a lot of trouble to find them now - and that is reality.
I did go out an buy something big that I needed (this computer)which gave me a way to journal and focus and distract me. I spent days looking things up that I never knew existed. I discovered people in the world who asked the same weird questions and looked up the same weird info. But I also found this site and it has helped me a lot.
I also changed up some of my routines to avoid missing H presence and that included some of the favorite foods and restaurants.
One thing I noticed changed right away was the disappearance of tension and stress. My kids started talking to me all the time like they used to do and I heard laughing again.

One comment about your D's view of things - kids don't understand the things adults understand. They are all over the place with emotions and changeable. Focus on your M with your H or adult friends and not worry about them. My D before the move out admitted she was planning to leave - she didn't understand why I thought I needed a man to be happy. After the move out - she came to me and apologized for not being supportive enough for the two of us and praying for us. She stays out of R now and just supports whatever I say or do. Think about it when the time comes.

{{{V}}} OK..I'm holding you to that fact that I will be ok even if I'm not feeling it today..thank you my friend for posting to me while you were having your own crummy day!

{{{Kassie}}} I love that you found the bright spot in your sitch with the kids and yourself having less tension and stress..that's awesome I appreciate your thoughts about my daughter's point of view and I know that in some ways her thoughts are right and in some ways wrong and, of course, she can't look at it the same way you or I could..it just made me think about I guess really how I come across daily to her about self esteem and things like that moreso than that I would base any marital decision on her thoughts..if that makes sense LOL

Tawnya

Ok..so mostly my day stunk, but I had some good in person and online friends to help me thru!!

So, last night, as I went to bed I just started to cry, knowing that this was coming I guess..it didn't last too long, but still, it was a "good cry"..

When I left the house this a.m. I decided I was headed to church, got out of here, and hopped in my car, drove around the corner and just started BAWLING..really hit me hard, as I knew it would..but then I got myself together and went to church. I am SO glad I did, it was nice to have people that I knew just hugging me and saying "hey, good to see you" and just making small talk..I did tell a few people at church about what was going on and they were very sweet and supportive.

After church, one of my good friends, who has known for a while, had my daughter and I go with her and her 3 daughters to IHOP for lunch, which was fun, then my daughter and I went to Starbucks afterwards, talked for a bit, then hub texted and said he was done, so I headed home.

I was a bit sad this evening, thank you Amy for helping to cheer me up and keep me company, but I think I'm okay now

I was telling someone earlier that for a little while it felt almost as bad as when I found out about the "bomb" dropping, but thankfully the pain and sadness didn't last anywhere near as long..so that HAS to be progress And, as another good friend put it "you are still sucking and breathing out, so you are doing okay" LOLOL (thanks MC for that one!)

I had so many people calling me, texting me, alt universing me, and writing on the boards in the past few days to check on me that I just can't thank you guys enough for your kindness and support {{Hugs}}

Thanks for listening!

Tawnya

(((((((Tawnya)))))))

It's what we do!

Sorry I wasn't around more, I've been tired. Don't know why, it just is!

Glad you had the support you needed!

{{{Jeff}}} Aww thank you my friend!

Tawnya