YEAP!! I remember those days when I thought that if H ever cheated on me that I would be through with him. I was so high and mighty when I hear of some of the things other people went through thinking that would not be me. But here I am dealing with H's A and child that came out of the A. In my wildest dreams did I nor our families ever think we would have come to this. Imagine our relationship was a model for the family. That seems so long ago. But I guess God has his plans. Hang in there!!
"a model for the family" Belive me I know that feeling... Not so long ago (3-4 months) not only the family but our closest friends were looking at us this way; "they never fight, love each other so much, would do everything for each other" and so on. The best one was " I wish our relationship was like that". I felt so proud at that time. Perfect H, perfect W, perfect M.
Yeap. The good old days right. But I guess on the brighter side, we can now truly relate to what others go through and maybe will be able to offer advice to others at some time down the line.
Since she left I was paying the mortgage by myself, but few weeks ago I told her I'm done. It'll be the first month without mortg payment.
Don't have enough money for it anymore and I'm not going to get part time job just to pay for the house that I don't want under those circumstances. Of course W says that doesn't have any money to help me and even though it's hard on her, looks like she's willing to let it go to the foreclosure.
I've been working so long and so hard to maintain a perfect credit and pay all my bills on time. I can't undrestand how can she do that.
And she is the one accusing me of excess spending (almost short of calling me irresponsible). For the last 4 years I was working full and a part time job to provide for us. We were never short on money, never starved, lived under the bridge. Sure, we have the credit cards, mortgage and car loans, but who doesn't?
Sorry, just had to vent a little. Feel better now :-)
Committed, we are so alike. I have been paying the mortgage by myself. It's been though but I love my house and I want to keep it. H and I also just bought our place. I must say that I am really impressed that H has moved out of our nice home to crappy conditions. I wouldn't do that for no man, sorry.
Vickyd I do love my house. So does my W. I can see it in her eyes each time she comes around. She misses it so much. I just don't have it in me to keep it without her. Everywhere I go I see her face, her touch, memories just kill me. On the top of that her father visited us for few months last year and did finised almost all the work that I'd be doing for a year (lack of time). I'm wondering how can she ever look him at the eye again, if we'll lose it all. But I guess that's the least of my problems now.
today I met with the priest specializing in MC. After I "presented my case":-) he said that going "dark" is a good idea. That I have to set my boundries.
As a matter of fact he suggested that I'd take it even further: change my phone number, block her email, so I wouldn't get any new messages. Change the locks and avoid my W at all cost until I get my head straight or she's ready to make a decision.
Call me a chicken but I think this would be going too far and it's against the DR. I don't want to push my W compeletely out of my life, just want her to know that I'm ready to move on with my life.
Propably Puppy would have something wise to say about that idea. You're more than welcome :-).
On the flip side he did say that I jumped the gun last week, and pushed my W too far with my expectations. Should give her more time if she's not ready yet. So I will.
Of course also said that he'd love to talk my W, to listen to her side of the story, but I'm not sure if I should even mention it. It'll be like pushing again.
As I went dark I've noticed some concerning changes in me. More and more I question myself if after what she did to me, do I want my W to come back? Do I still want this M? I'm getting angry, frustrated and dissapointed with her actions. Is it a normal reaction? Is it part of the healing process, or am I going too far?
I do love her, but after being kicked in the b..tt so many times, my pride and hurt feelings are taking over... Just don't want to be humiliated any more.
