Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers JDOllie's story #5

{{{Jon}}} Um..no..I was totally describing you my friend..just the fact that you want to not even think of yourself and give yourself totally to your kids..HELLO..you totally rock

So glad to see you made it thru your "crummy days"!!

Tawnya

JD,

Understand the question of waiting. I go back and forth on this issue in my stitch. I have good reasons to go either way. Mostly I thought I would allow him to get the D if he wants one, or leave if he wanted to. But there are times when it becomes sooooo dysfunctional to stay together - whether under the same roof or not.
I admire your determination to make the kids a priority. You will either move forward or not but obviously now is not the time. I share your concern about the kids seeing their mother dating a married man (do they know) because of the message it sends to them about M and commitment.

Ugh, tonight was so hard.

W told kids that she was taking the day off to come to their basketball games tomorrow. Turns out she was planning on bringing the OM.

How disrespectful can you possibly be?

I told the kids I hadn't decided on it yet, and D8 started crying, and said OM was like a second father; which was funny because he doesn't even spend time with them.

If W had taken a day off work, and asked me to spend the day with the kids I would have let her, but she instead chose to spend it with OM. How pathetic.

I'm torn now between forcing her to honor me and my "new" family, or just ignoring them as if they weren't there. However, if he went, and tried to hug my kids or something, I would lay him out on the floor.

Phoo - this is not going to be good.

JD...follow your belief and your head.

Your heart is telling you the wrong thing right now.

I hear ya JD,

I'm not sure I have any further advice for you at the moment. Try not to think about OM. You don't want to end up with charges against you for assault. Keep yourself out of the slammer. She could turn that on you. Ya gotta keep your cool no matter what with OM. But I know my day is coming to when I will feel just like you.

I already have thought about those scenerios just reading your threads and how will I react to those. I'm praying mine doesn't come to that. But I know I will have to control my emotions if it does.

You got to also. You can certainly explain to your kids that this OM in no way represents their father. There is nothing wrong with that. You can also explain to them that if he was a good father, he wouldn't be putting his own kids through what he is doing.

Kevin

Unreal! You haven't even filed for D and she is bringing OM? Hold yourself together. This may go against DBing, but if she brought him I would get myself together and file next week. She is not thinking whatsoever.

Well, I did text her: I battled with it. I knew it would be hard on kids too because they get spoiled and all that.

ME: "If you bring him tomorrow, the kids and I will leave"

W: "Why would you do that? The kids do not care."

ME: "You will respect me and my family until our marriage is ended."

W: "The kids requested it. and BFF too. it is for them."
(yeah right, it's for them)

ME: "No. Let me make sure you understand: if he comes, we will leave."

Then she called to tell the kids good night, and had D8 sobbing for 20 minutes up in her room.

Sigh... It's not easy being strong and right, but I guess if it was, there'd be no WAS!

D8 is mad at ME now - but it'll be worth it all some day!

Hah, classic!

Just found out that the kids didn't have a bath or shower ALL week. Sigh...

{{{{JD}}}}} Argh..my friend..I can only imagine how HARD that was for you..well actually I CAN in a way imagine the disrespecting thing and I'm totally knowing that at some point my hub is going to do something with OW possibly moving into the same apt complex and my son is going to meet up with her and I just hope I can be as semi okay with it as you are being..I think I would not be texting my hub..I'd probably be stepping back into the "old girl" LOLOL

Sigh..I just have no words..hang tough and strength and honor my friend!

Tawnya

I'm texting tonight - but if he comes tomorrow, you all may be hearing from me via my one-hour of alloted internet time at the county jail!

Seriously, I will absolutely grab the kids, and walk out - I will make a scene if I have to.

I was SHAKING - I was so angry. I never get angry, and I never lose my cool - W has actually complained about me not getting mad.


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