"That was the single most depressing thing I had to come to grips with. It's gut-wrenching, realizing that -- to survive -- you have to temporarily treat your wife like an adversary."
Couldn't agree more. Thank you for your input and encouregement. I promise I'll try to stick to the plan. It just kills me inside, but I guess the ultimate goal of being happily married again is worth it!
side note: I hope, I'm not being overconfident but I have no doubt that her affair will end eventually. There is too many differences and too much guilt on her side to make it work on a long run. I just feel sorry for her (and myself) that she's been waisting time and our lives. For nothing. One day she'll be able to see it clearly but I hope it will not be too late for us.
side note: I hope, I'm not being overconfident but I have no doubt that her affair will end eventually. There is too many differences and too much guilt on her side to make it work on a long run.
Statistically, you're probably right. Six months is about the average; exposure speeds that up even more.
Just wanted to give you some words of encouragement. I totally know how you feel. H and I were together since high school and also know each other for 15 years. I too thought that we had our share of problems but we had a good relationship. Traveled alot, was relatively successful. But H had an A, got a child with OW (we also struggled with infertility which has been really hard on me) and has been lving with OW since we separated 5 months now. It is definitely a hard thing to deal with, especially with family and friends feeling like its over for H and I. Anyway, hang in there. I find DB a little hard but we have to keep trying.
I admire your courage and commitment. Honestly I don't think I'd be still fighting if my W had a child with OM. To me it would be the breaking point. On the other hand that's exactly what I was thinking for years, when thought about the possibility of my W having an affair. But here I am. Fighting. I pray we both win our battles.
So far it's been four days since I pulled back. Each day is so hard on me, it's like fighting an addiction. Never had one, but that's how it feels, I guess :-)
First three days; she was reaching out, yesterday went quiet. Testing me? Clash of wills?
You say exposure. Do you think I should expose them at work? As I said; to me it would be a low blow. And propably it'd complicate things even more.
Commited
I can't answer that for you; that's your decision to make. I exposed my wife and OM at work because that's where they were carrying on their affair. If they weren't, I probably wouldn't have included that in my list.
side note: I hope, I'm not being overconfident but I have no doubt that her affair will end eventually. There is too many differences and too much guilt on her side to make it work on a long run.
Statistically, you're probably right. Six months is about the average; exposure speeds that up even more.
Puppy
Puppy is right, but don't bother putting a timetable on what someone else will do and when they will do it. Women fall slow but they fall hard.
Expectations are the devil here. Expect nothing and you will be rewarded eventually.
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
