Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Divorce looming #4

I agree Stuck,

Its the direction I am heading now. Tonite W got home and I did let her in cause the dog was hanging at the door so I knew someone was there. But Other than that, my answers were short and friendly and I took care of the kids and got them into bed and I didn't initiate any conversation.

Earlier I had sent an email again asking how her day was. But since she wants to be cold, I'm going to stop doing that. Just going dark and friendly.

My car is out of the shop so she really has no reason to talk to me in the morning now that I am not having to drive her to work. So Lets see what a new day and a new Kevin brings tomorrow.

I feel pretty good about myself tonite. I started trying to build a relationship with Jesus tonite while at the kids counseling appointment. And after I did, I just felt all better. Like a big worry had been lifted off of me. I still feel it.

I had been praying to God, but I hadn't really focus'd on my relationship with Jesus. Thats going to change now. I can get through anything with Jesus as long as I make him #1.

Kevin

Well,

W has definitely plans on being at a hotel all next weekend. She threw that up again tonite. I didn't really acknowledge it.

Kevin

Kevin,

You're doing great - good for you, ignoring the hotel comment. Concentrate on what you can control -- stop yourself from thinking of things beyond your control.

Keep focusing on your children - they're the prize.

dw

BIG NEWS!!!

My W left her email open today by accident and went off. I looked through it and sure enough got all the proof I needed ot the torid PA she has been having since at least back to October.

I know who the guy is and his W doesn't know. I have like 40 emails of conversations between them of documenting it. I am going to send the OM 2 emails and tell him to break things off with W by Monday morning or I am sending all emails to his W. He loves his kids and has had some guilt about this A although enjoying it. He doesn't want his family going through a D. He made one comment about calling my W his piece of A on the side.

I'm also going to tell him not to leak a word of this to my W or all emails go to his W. I know he does not want this. This is what I have been waiting for.

I am also saying in the email that I hope he appreciates the respect I am showing to him and his family by going directly to him first. I don't want his family to go through this and I don't want mine to.

Suggestions? Thoughts?

Kevin

I would print off hard-copies first of all - can be invaluable in a divorce.

They actually can help even the odds - women start out with a 70/30 advantage, and showing something like that can make things 50/50. ESPECIALLY since he's married.

Be forewarned - if you do it, and your W finds out about it, she will FLIP OUT. You need to be strong, don't you DARE back down - just stand there and say, "I do this for my family."

Thanks JD.

Good points. I hope it doesn't get back to her but it might. My goal is to break this off and hopefully me and W can start working on this M again.

What is weird after reading all of these was seeing my W be the agressor. I mean she went in deep after him. Not the other way around. Its a bit frightening. She really pursued him.

Kevin

Whats worse is she didn't mind going back and forth between me and him. OMG!!! I never would have believed it. One that she would have an ongoing A and two that she would go back and forth.

Unreal. I don't know who she is. No morals whatsoever. For someone who always adamantly said she was no sl#t. Wow.

Sex is like no big thing for her anymore. I can't believe it.

Kevin

Kevin--

I want you to read Puppy Dog Tails thread. He also posted under Chocolateeyes in the beginning. He took a real hardline approach with full exposure to his wife, the affair partner and their kids. It definitely worked for him. While it sits wrong with some, I feel like in some instances it is the best. He is posting all over, but if you send up a smoke signal, he will come and give you help on this approach.

SMW

I just sent the emails to OM. We'll see what happens. This could really backfire. But hopefully it won't.

Kevin

Well, its 1pm here and nothing seems to be different yet. Of course OM has until tomorrow morning to break things off. I haven't heard back from him and W is acting normal.

After reading all her emails, this is a full blown fantasy for her. She is living it like one to. She even talks about it as one. She says she doesn't think this can end good for either of them at some point. But she is enjoying it for the moment.

Instead of wrecking one home, she is wrecking 2 homes.

Kevin