Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers JDOllie's story #5

Well JD. You have got there. I hope that you will feel better for actually doing that even though it's hard.

I still haven't heard a word from my W and she was the one that wanted to stay in touch. I don't really care anymore though. If I can be 'dropped' like that after 26 years then she really isn't worth any more effort.

It's an interesting time being 'dark'. Some people seem to get shocked into changing (which may be happening with your W) others just feel grateful for the peace (which IS happening with my W).

As long as we remain true to ourselves and our children, that is really all that matters.

Will be thinking about you buddy, and I hope that the result of your letter gives you what you are looking for.

She responded:

"I called my lawyer today. Left a message. I will not do a dissolution without one. Also I will need a copy of this years taxes. I will give you a copy of mine if need be. and the information about your business. I will also need information on how much is owed on the house/credit cards."

She did tell me she would work with me as much as possible on the kid's schedule. I honestly think she is looking to offload some time with me so she can spend more at school and with OM.

It is a sad, sad day. I thought maybe she was still in there - I guess the eternal optimist, but time to move on.

I feel pretty good considering - just sad.

Silva,
Heh, I don't think my W has any idea what she's doing.

I still love her very much, but it's now about my kids and me. That's why when I emailed her, I said I wanted to "being restoring honor to my new family." That's exactly what I want.

Still makes me just heavy at heart - but it's time to go on! Each email is just another nail in the coffin, and it hurts less, and for a shorter amount of time.

Sorry about the email. You have bounced back quickly and will again I am sure. Are you using an attorney as well?

Thx SO2 - I do have an attorney!

I feel really good now. It's funny how the "bad things" affect me less and less - and for much shorter periods of time.

I responded to W with an email reminding her that the point of having a dissolution was to keep lawyers OUT, and thus save money. I have no problems having a lawyer review - very smart thing to do, but they should review, not write. Otherwise, it's a divorce.

So, anyway, honestly, that's where I end. I'm not doing anything else until at least the end of February. At that point, I will probably file divorce.

I'm sad, heavy-hearted, but honestly I feel really good. Glad to sort of get this over with - glad to come to grips with the situation - glad to know that I did my best - glad to know that this has nothing to do with me, and is encapsulated in W's head.

You know what struck me today? When I am talking to others, and working, and chatting - I am so happy. When I talk about W, I'm not. Shouldn't that tell you something?

Night!

JD
Just want to say you are doing much better. Handling things better and keeping your focus. Keep it up and enjoy what you can. You are such a good guy and deserve to have what you want. Hang in there and it will come.

{{{JD}}} First off..wow..I hate that you are turning this corner, not the corner you would want, and not necessarily the end of the tunnel..but you sound like you are handling things so well, I'm so happy and proud for that..you are doing so great and doing so well for your kids and yourself!!

And on a lighter note, what movies did you end up seeing?? Glad you are keeping busy these next few days my friend

Tawnya

JD,

Seems like you have your mind made up to not mess around anymore. That's good for you! Do you think she would have never filed if you didn't?

JD,

I am pleased that you have got your head around things. I totally agree with the talking bit. It does tell you where your heart lies, your head often tells you otherwise though.

Don't forget that things happen for a reason, that will become obvious some day.

Take care

I am sure you will have all of your bases covered. This D part is when it seems to get sticky and nasty if they want it to be. Let her rant and rave...just keep focused.