Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis It's Complicated! Part 3

Here's the latest:

H is on business in Fl. He has called everyday so far and we have chatted about work. He has talked to the kids and has said he misses me and loves me. NICE!

S20 has stayed the past few nights to help with the kids while h is gone. That has been a big help.

Yesterday s20 tells me that his aunt is arriving today. This would be my ex h's sister. So I come home from work and yep she is at our home. Haven't seen her in about 14 years. I got to hear all about ex h's family and all the drama.

I also got to hear how much ex h is beating himself up over our lost m. It was nice to hear how he really missed me over the years and how he realizes I was a good woman now. Wow, some do wake up, after it is all too late.

Ex h's sister says she reminds ex h that I was such a good woman and that I really loved ex h so much.

It has all been so wierd. It's interesting though his family really liked me I guess. Sometimes you sometimes really never know how you touched another's life. Not sure where this is all going.

Ex h's sister is staying at s20's apartment. She says she is staying and going to find a job. This I am sure will get very interesting.

I sent h an e-mail to let him know what is going on and he hasn't responded yet. Ahhhhhh life is complicated!

Hey, GG.

Thanks for your post on my thread. I replied over there.

That is very cool to have some validation from ex H.....and if you shared that with your H, that has got to make him think!

And you are getting ILY's from H.......I'm so envious....but you deserve it, hon!

By the way, are you on the alt??

[[[[[hugs]]]]]

SC I am on the Alt - if that is facebook. I am on MWG's friends list.

I spoke with h last night. I had not heard from him, so I called him before going to bed. He didn't answer, but called back a few min later.

I wasn't too pleased that my h was dancing on the table with a belly dancer. He says he was pushed onto the table. Right! Now my h doesn't drink, so not so sure how that went. A few of his co-workers said what is your w going to think. Great!

I tried to downplay it, but what would my h think if I were dancing on the tables with a guy in a g-string. I am sure he wouldn't be pleased.

Oh well, what can I do. H comes home on Saturday. Today I am going to do some cleaning and take ex h's sister and D4 out to lunch.

Oh Glam, forget the belly dancing. It really was probably a bit of harmless fun. What could he have got up to on a table with an audience?.
You really can't compare a belly dance to a guy in a g string!

I think it shows your H is relaxed enough to enjoy an evening of banter with his colleagues. That is a good thing just continue with your progress.
Enjoy the week end.

Thanks Naej. I am sure it was harmless, it was just that h mentioned that his boss said my w would get mad if I got up there. It made me think well I can get up there, since I don't care what my w thinks.

H just called. He missed his flight. He was a bit grouchy. We talked for a few. I said h how did you miss your flight? He said Glam what difference does it make? I missed it. Do you think I want to spend time here? All I want to do is go to sleep and I have work to do. He said I won't be over until Sunday.

At this point I didn't feel the convo was going well, so I said h it sounds like you are busy. I will let you go and see you on Sunday. Have a good one and ended the call.

H seemed so flippant. I just wasn't going to subject myself to his disrespect. All I did was ask a ? It didn't warrant chewing my head off. Oh well, this gets so weary.

Ok I did not end up taking ex h's sister out to lunch. She is a bit emotional and seems a bit lost. She called earlier and said that she couldn't make it here and was going to go back where she was living.

I said sis you need to do what you need to do, but don't make a rash decision.

I stopped over at s20's to say hi and check on them. S20 was playing the guitar and singing to his aunt. She was crying and calling all of her family saying what a great kid s20 was and how I did such a great job raising him.

It felt good to hear this. She even said, Glam I called my brother my ex h and told him how good you looked and that you haven't aged a bit. She also said, Glam I told him that you had just the brightest smile on your face. She said brother, did Glam always have that beautiful smile.

Ex h's sister made me feel good, but this isn't about me. I just went on with my life 14 years ago and made decisions to better my life from what it was.

I did tell sis that I loved your brother so much, but leaving him was the best thing I could have done for myself. My ex h has been clean and sober for the past 12 years, but she did tell me that he has had 3 domestic violence disputes. Just hearing that made me think yes, I had put that past life behind 14 years ago.

She showed me a pic of ex h. He looked old and aged. His lifestyle looks like it got the best of him. She also told me he never m, but that his last GF cheated on him. Hmmmm, at least he knows how that felt. I hold nothing against this man. God filled me with forgiveness.

She also told me that she called ex h today and telling him what a good son he had. He told her to tell me thank you and he started crying.

Ex h's family has always been the family of drama. My life back then was so full of drama.

Not sure where this is all going, but I am concerned for s20 that he got sucked into this drama. I know he is an adult now, but he is a spectacular kid and he does have a compassionate heart that could be taken advantage of.

I was praying for ex h's sister today and asking God how I could help her. God said, Glam you don't need to help her. I will help her. No need to worry.

I do have a tendancy to take on other peoples problems and I just need to let that all go.

Now if h would just return and we could call it all good!

GG,
In God's time....your h will return. Sit quietly and patiently, for that is when things will begin to happen.

Hi glamgirl,

You are such a kind person. I am sure your S20 turned out so well.

I hope that it will work out for you and H. Have a lovely week-end. (((HUGS)))

Thanks Snodderly and TL. I don't feel good about how my convo ended with my h, but I will let it go for now.

Sometimes I just feel my h is so unkind and rude. There is NO reason to act the way he does at times. Just because I asked a few ?'s.

Oh well I just have to let it go. I wanted to call him back, but haven't. I will just see him on Sunday. I am sure it's not me. I am sure he was mad that he missed his flight and I was the closest target.

I find it interesting though. He doesn't want to be disrespected, but he will turn around and do that to me.