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Thank you Saffie and Naej. I'm glad you agree that my S is too young to appreciate Disney. Certain parts of me thought I was only making excuses. My plan now is to take a week off work in the late spring, early summer and take my son to my sister's house. She has a 3 year old daughter. After a couple of days there I will then take him to my brother's house (which is a bit further away) to stay. He has 2 sons. One of them is 3 and the other is only a couple of weeks younger than Wee Man. They only met once when Wee Man was 4 weeks old!

Oh I forgot to say, I've booked a trip down to see my sister at the end of the month. It's my W's weekend with Wee Man so I won't be taking him but I'm quite excited because my brother in law has promised to take me snow boarding in the Cairn Gorms (for all the Americans here, that's a large mountain range in Scotland). I've never tried it before so I'm really excited. I'll say one thing for this separation, it's giving me the will to try new things. Guess that must be a good thing.

I watched the second Narnia film tonight for the first time. Prince Caspian for those that don't know. I have to say I found it a lot better than the first. The first one just didn't live up to the hype as far as I'm concerned. It was totally overshadowed by the Lord of the Rings trilogy (The BEST films ever made!!). This second one though, really was an improvement. It's made me want to read the books again. I think I read them when I was a kid but I can't remember for sure. Either way, a break from a book that long will make it like I'm reading it for the first time.

Take care y'all. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

CIW, so glad to hear that you are trying new things, it's an awesome feeling! It will bring your self-esteem right up and take you out of the funk.

Hey PM, I just came on to have a look if there had been any updates and you've obviously just arrived too. I'm not going to do a long post at the moment because I have a lot to do. I'm feeling a lot better today though. I don't know why. Just accepting my sitch more I suppose.

Wee Man has just gone down for his afternoon nap so I'm going to use the opportunity to get caught up on some chores around the house. I'll only have him for a few more hours which isn't great but he'll be back on Tuesday evening so I can't complain too much.

I had to laugh last night. My W's grandmother came past for a visit and told me I should just be out there getting myself a new GF. Sounded really strange coming from her. I've no intention of following her advice but it's really sweet that she's trying to make me feel better. Apparently, she's hardly visited my W at all since she left me.

Hope you're doing ok today PM? I'll catch up with on your thread a bit later on.

Your W's grandmother is so funny, she's got spunk, I like her and I don't even know her. You know what I love talking with people who are older than me. LOVE it, in fact. They have so much knowledge to share. Just think what you were like in your early twenties and how little you knew. Now think how much more you would know ten years from now. You see? Every opportunity I get, I gravitate towards older women to soak up their wisdom. So much to learn, so little time to do it.

I agree completely PM. We always got on so well. Things like this just never happened in their day. She was absolutely devastated when my W left me and definitely sympathises with me in the sitch. She also loves the dog to bits so she still visits me quite often.

I'm a bit down again since W was past to collect Wee Man. I don't think that aspect of it is ever going to get easier. Every time she takes hi away from me it rips my heart out anew. I mentioned to her tonight that I wanted to see him more often even if it's just for a short visit. She didn't sound too keen. She's just going to have to get used to the idea though. He's my son and I refuse to spend so much time away from him. She made no effort to visit him over the weekend even though I'd told her she'd be more than welcome. That's her problem. I'm not going to do the same. She also asked me to take Wee Man on Wednesday and Thursday night instead of Tuesday Wednesday because she's got a night out on Thursday. I don't mind being felxible but I'm still going to go and visit him on Monday and Tuesday this week. No way am I going without for 3 nights.

W was in a hurry to get him away because she's been invited to a friend of her family's house for a meal and they all wanted to see Wee Man. A couple of months ago we would both have been invited. I'm really going to miss things like that. Her family's friends always had such a good social life and we were always included. We were all supposed to be going on holiday to Bulgaria in the summer but obviously that's not going to be happening any more. That is one of the problems I'm having to deal with. A huge part of my social life was through my W's family. It's effectively been ripped away from me along with my W and S. I think I'd deal with this a lot better if it had only been my W.

Anyway, I'm going to try and do something to take my mind off everything tonight. Not sure what yet but I'm sure I'll think of something. I was doing a lot better today but without my S I'm feeling the loneliness setting in again. Most of my friends live in the country and the snow is cutting off that possibility for company.

I apologise if I'm being excessively downhearted but this feels like my only release these days and it feels better to be get it all out.

My W has definitely stopped wearing her rings. I'd like to ask what reason a woman would have for doing that? Is she advertising herself as available? I'm toying with the idea now of taking mine off. I don't want her to think I'm still pining for her. I've accepted the fact now that this is going to take a long long time.

Just a question, Did you put the ring on when you made your vows ....in sickness and in health for better or for worse?
If so I say keep it on until you have done all you can and it really is over,ie D.
You don't have to play wifes games, your the bigger person. Take the high road.

JMO it is up to you at the end of the day.

To answer your question Naej, I've not had the ring off my finger since my W put it there on our wedding day except once to have it resized. I don't even take it off to swim, wash, etc. My gut feeling is to leave it on. I was worried that it may annoy her though and therefore hinder my chances of reconcilliation. I suppose it's a small detail in the grand scheme of things though. Thanks for your advice.

CIW,

You need to make you own circle of friends that have family and find others that you can go away with on holiday. Do not put your life on hold because of what your wife is doing.

Hey folks. It's Monday again unfortunately. I'm not entirely sure how best to describe my mood this morning. I wouldn't say I'm happy and I wouldn't say I was very upset either. Numb would probably be the most accurate way. I'm still struggling to keep a PMA. I can achieve it sometimes but can't seem to get it to remain. I think that every time I actually see my W, it puts me back in to the slump. Unfortunately, there's no way I can go dark on her because I need to be there for my S. If it wasn't for him, I'd break of all contact with her. For the sake of my sanity if nothing else.

Saffie, I know that I need to build up relationships with people again and find my own circle of friends. The problem is that I started relying on my life with my W too much over the last few years and got very much involved in the whole social side that came along with her family. They are really good people and it felt like there was always something fun happening. I freely admit that I lost contact with a few of my friends because I was so caught up in being married. I loved spending time with my W, and her family were always so close. I don't come from a particularly close family so this was new and exciting to me. I really loved my life as it was and thought I'd finally cracked it. That is until my W pulled the rug out from under me. Now, I'm clawing around, trying to rebuild relationships with friends and even trying to get my family closer together to fill this sudden void in my life. I'm not finding it very easy. Especially when my W is still enjoying the whole social scene that we used to enjoy together. Everyone in her family/friends are still very sympathetic towards me but I'm still not included in things. I would never expect to be but it doesn't stop me missing it.

Anyway, I'm in severe danger of pushing myself back in to depression if I keep dwelling on this stuff so I think I'm just going to go and try to bury myself in my work. I have a dentist appointment today which is really going to be the icing on the cake. My W works as a dental nurse in the surgery I go to even though she won't be working today. I'm still a bit concerned about how all her colleagues are going to act towards me.

CIW, yes, you need to build your own social circle and getting your own family together and letting WeeMan know his cousins is an excellent start.

Don't worry about what others think. In the end you know who you are and people who care about you will be there to support you. People who care about gossip will float by and disappear. You will find out who your real friends are in times of trouble. So GAL. Live one day at a time so you don't get too overwhelmed. If one day is too long, then just one hour at a time. Tell yourself to try to be happy for one hour or have peace for one hour. That's how you can manage.