OK, super happy super cool Arthur took a slip last night !!!
Had my boys and S2 a bit poorly and wanted to go home, so I drop him back then spend time with S6. When I drop him off S2 is still up and it's 7.30ish, I thought he was bath and bed from 7 but turns out that is now 8. Anyway, I carry him upstairs for his bath and STBX asked if I want to bath him. Now, yes, I probably should of done but I sort of get the shakes in that house, I can't explain it...does anyone else get that ?. So, I say, I can't I've got plans and then get it thrown at me that I don't even want to see them, when am I going to have them overnight (again) and basically insulting me as a dad. Am I wrong to defend myself when that happens ? If I let it go am I not acting like I'm accepting what's being thrown at me ?
Anyway, spoke to MOT35 about it and she sees my STBX argument and I do to, to an extent, but I cannot afford my own place to have them over with paying the mortgage too, I'm also like to get made redundant in June, my parents will not let me have them over whilst living there and I just could not sit in that house or spend a night in that house while my STBX went out. I'm also a little scared that if I suggest something it starts a precedent. Do you just think I'm making excuses ?
My sister also told me my STBX now has some new bloke who she has met in the chat rooms on FB that she is going on about to the school mums. I think that's a bit innapropriate personally and I'd rather not know. All the mums thinking my boys mum is an old slapper ??? nice.... Not sure if this is also the reason for the new attack, to see more of her new fella which I can understand.
I also think deep down I'm being a bit more stubborn than necessary if I'm honest as she is still being so nasty, spiteful and has not cut me any slack at all.
Also, work is boring the life out of me and then stuck in a room all evening all week drives me crazy. So need to get out my mums but thankfully going round a friends tonight so at least I will get out.
Sorry to hear about the work thing but I can more than understand. Your general mood seems to be mirroring mine and the reflex i have had is that perhaps i am at fault here. You know the cliche we are responsable for our own happiness. Is it possible that these recent duldroms have been brought on by your STBX's new friend? If you are not comfortable in your old home why not just tell stbx instead of saying you have plans.
John - I think your partly right by new friend in that she sees that I'm off and thinking i'm going to meet someone and knows she cant just do that.
Yeah, have said about the house before. I'm in there for like 5 mins at drop off and similar at pick up unless the boys not ready on a Sat morning.
I'm seeing both sides of it as MOT35 is in the same spot but on the other side. I just need to figure out a solution and generally just having a bit of a down few days I think, not had many for a long time. Nearly the weekend tho
Did you really say that your parents won't allow their own grandchildren to stay overnight?
I did, it's on of the querks in my sitch and you might not understand. They would happily have them if I'm not there, but not while I'm there for 2 reasons. 1) The first letter I recieved from my STBX sols was her (and her solicitor agreeing which I cannot believe) that I should leave the house and go live with my parents who's house was also big enough for me to have the kids stay over. WTF - My STBX suggesting it yes, but a sols writing it ??? This is nothing to do with my parents and not their responsibility, they don't even have to have me there. 2) If I did that even a few times, it would start a precedent.
Sorry, you may not fully grasp that, but having spoken to my own solicitors (2 different ones in fact) they agree her sols should not of even put that in writing as it is no responsibility of my parents.
Trust me, I feel really bad about not having somewhere for my boys to stay but rental prices here are obscene and even a 1 bed would cost approx 1/3 of my wages, I'm paying mortgage on house which is approx 1/3 of my wages so I could do it, but would be living on pittance and have no extra money for any sort of social life and I reckon I would crack up !!!
Just stopping by but why would she care if you are seeing someone and who it is. Wasn't she the one that had an A and isn't it her who wanted the D. Let her wonder.
Just stopping by but why would she care if you are seeing someone and who it is. Wasn't she the one that had an A and isn't it her who wanted the D. Let her wonder.
Glad you are doing so well.
Have a great weekend,
Tim
Hi Tim
Yes, all of the above. No idea and as the teenagers say....Whatever !!!
Anyway, eventful weekend. Went for a couple of beers after work, but forgot to eat so was rather merry by 8.30 and the fresh air snipers hit me when walking to me MOT35. Had a nice evening and still home by 11. Had boys all day Saturday and then casino Sat night, won about �100 from coming 4th in poker tourney (busting AI pre flop with 4 left with KK v 33, xx33x).
Now Sunday life went pear shaped. MOT35 was not responding then happened to catch her friend on FB who then tells me she is worried about her. I finally get a text back saying she ok, then speak to her a bit later. Turns out we were spotted Friday night and it's all kicked off with her ex. He thinks she left due to having an A now (not true, we met 4 months after the split) and her family have also questioned it. She is so scared of her family tho and has said she was just with an old school friend when spotted. She is seeing a C at the request of her family and next one on Thursday. She has yet to bring me up there, but I have told her too as she is hiding info from the C. See personally, I don't see why she doesn't sort of tell her family, but I respect her wishes.
Could it be the beginning of the end ? Not sure. I know I miss not seeing her, but depending on how the next few weeks go it will be a decision time for me I feel. I can't sit around waiting forever if we aren't to see each other, though I do think we would remain friends anyway. I know she is crazy about me, we get on really well and time together is awesome.
He ho, guess I sort of knew all this when getting involved.
Only had S2 today as oldest said he was feeling a bit poorly so didn't force him (tho he was playing all happily when i dropped S2 off thee little pickle). Anyway, dropped S2 off after fun time and spoke to STBX re having the boys overnight next Monday and saturday as my oldies away and then went downstairs and noticed a ltr to XXXXX (my mums name) so I scan read it and there was also some other handwriting so a 'friend' had obviously added more which I didn't really read properly. Anyway, I popped out to do FFL stuff and back an hour later and my mum in tears. She had got the ltr down to my mum in that short time and I read it...It was unbelievable to say the least, attacking my mum as parent and grandparents, quoting bits of the bible and trying to put them on a guilt trip re the boys not staying in their house with me. Silly thing is, cant imaginewhat she expected togain from it and it will go against her with solicitors i'm sure so will be holding onto it. I'm tempted to show her parents and wanted to text or ring straight away but doing the 48 hr thing. also, even in space of an hour I know it's better I turn the other cheek and just avoid anything to do with her now and leave to solicitors.
To say I'm livid is an understatement, but I'm more upset than anything for my mum. Being dragged into my mess and being spoken to like that. pure disgust, but hey, what should i expect really.
Is it possible she may have heard about you and MOT35 and is lashing out, think that might be the case? Or a ploy to show that you have housing arrangements available but are being difficult. She knows that you aren't pressing the issue with your parents as you said. If you have a place to live, then she isn't on the hook for as much whack daddy-o. You are playing the smart game. Don't respond and let the solicitors handle it all.
Love it that in supporting her argument, the Bible is her reference, but when it comes to the bits about adultery and divorce, she must've skipped those pages. Point her to Malachi 2:16 the next time she goes for the bible.
No longer your W and no longer your friend, just the mother of your boys.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
