Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Divorce is around the corner II

Hi True,

Sounds like you are GAL, good for you!! Everyone says these things take time.

I know you are sad about your D going thru. Believe me, I've been there.

Thinking about you!!!!
((((Hugs))))

Hi nlt,

Thanks for popping in. I was a bit less sad today.

I got a free car wash today - LOL. I was driving when we had a teriffic down pour, and afterwards the strong winds dried the car free of charge as well!!!

TL so you say you tried working it out, but your h was not all that committed. What did that look like? Meaning did you date, did you go to MC? How did your h give up?

So sorry about the D. I know that must be so devistating.

Just curious as to what you tried!

Hi glamgirl,

My H wanted to give us a second chance and invited me to stay at his place for a few months. To start with he was nice and prepared everything for my arrival in such a nice way. But after a while he started again telling me about his old problems such as aging, not liking to be with older and old people, etc. and telling me awful things about how I looked. On the other hand he was jealous and did not like me to wear low cut t-shorts or dresses. He was almost always cold and distant and was bossing me about all the time. When he got grumpy and moody he told me that it had nothing to do with me but with his life and things not going the way he wanted them to go.

He did not want to go to MC or therapy although MIL and I suggested it. He did not want to do anything about improving our sitch. And on top of it he was still in touch with OW while living with me, and I found out later that he wrote to a friend he still loved her and missed her and he was worried that she would find somebody else in the meantime.

I had the feeling that he just invited me so that he had a cleaning lady and a cook and had some company as he hates to be lonely. He even made up some story and asked me to leave about one month earlier. Later on he told me that there just was no spark in our R anymore!

Hi Vali,

Nice to hear from you and thanks for sending hugs.

Glad you are happy. Yes, a lot of people say it happens when you least expect it.

I see you also "went through a few frogs" - LOL! Maybe I need to go through a few more as well!

I wish you all the best with your new BF. (((HUGS)))

I received two e-mails from H today. One was business and finances. The other one was out of the blue about his life, etc. (I never ask him about it.)

He wrote whether it isn't funny that we should get D in the same month as we got married!

Then he went on asking me how I am. That he is not alone anymore and has somebody living with him. That there is little love between them but he is less lonely. Then he went on telling me a few other things about her and what he did. That the weather is almost always good and warm and he would never want to come back to Europe. He intended to travel somewhere else this year but cannot afford it right now. He went on telling me to take care, be happy and look after myself and get another man who has money!!!

The first time he wrote he was lonely and alone was on Christmas Eve.

I have not yet replied to any of his "personal" e-mails, but I intend to reply that I don't really want to hear about his women etc. and that I am also sad about our D, especially being in the same month as our wedding. I also intend to write that he is so insensitive and that it hurts me when he writes about his women.

I will send my reply soon. I wonder if he will remember me on Valentine's Day.

I don't get it why he suddenly starts to write about what he does. It seems that he is not happy and he sees me just as a good friend, but he is so insensitive about what he tells me.

I was so sad about the whole thing in the morning that I was happy when my GF rang to tell me that she will come by to go for a walk. It was not particularly sunny but good enough to enjoy a long walk along the waterfront. Afterwards we had afternoon tea at my place.

Oh my gosh TL, I am sorry your h is being so insensitive. Yeah like right you want to hear all about his ow. Not good!

Yes, you should tell him how insensitive and how hurt his statements make you. Ha ha ha D in the same month as M, is he really not thinking through what he is saying, like this is all a big joke?

True,

I'm sorry, yes, it is insensitive of your H. However, 'they' don't see it that way, 'they' are looking for love, compassion, friendship, whatever and 'expect' us to want what is best for 'THEM' to be and feel happy....

My H does that stuff too, he calls ow infront of my nose, in my house and says 'bye, sweetheart' to her, right infront of me...he doesn't even think twice about how much it may hurt. He doesn't care, as HE is happy....and when you're 'happy' you are unable to see anything else, or someone else's pain. We understand pain, when we too are in pain, or have gone through it, but if you know no pain, then it's much harder to see or understand it.

I just hope that your life will be a good and happy one ! You are such a kind soul !!! xxx

(((TL)))

Yes your h was insensitive. Hold your head up high and keep having fun with everyone. Remember he is wearing a mask right now. That darn MLC mask!

Y