Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy The Unfaithful Wife - That's Still Me #3

Be patient. I'm sure he will talk about it at some point. Probably just not right this second. At least he went. Thats a positive.

At some point he will read the letter to. It sounds like he is starting to come along a bit. Remember, slower is better than never.

Just takes time. I think there is hope. Pray about it.

Kevin

come on Mel,

wth?? You think any c is so good that suddenly all lights are going to flash and alarms are going to go off and he'll slap his forehead and say OMG I GET IT!! I'M A FOOL AND I NOW SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY AND WHAT MUST BE DONE..BYE BYE C, I HAVE TO GO CALL OW AND KICK HER ASS OUT, AND THEN CALL MEL AND TELL HER ALL THE THINGS I'VE SUDDENLY REALIZED"!!???

I would take it as a good sign that he is shutting the heck up right now. He's got some thinking to do! He might not be feeling so hot about choices he has to make...he might not be able to stay on cruise control waiting for the skies to clear and for him to know all the things he has to do AND somehow they have to be easy choices...cuz hard ones are just....so.....hard....to....make... better to stick our heads in the sand and do the absolute minimum to keep you hanging, and whatever else he wants.

So, like I said, realistically, I think this is a good thing. Let him THINK about what he heard today. Let him look around his life and say the real question he has to ask himself which is WTF AM I DOING TO THE PEOPLE I LOVE AND WHEN WILL I FIX THIS?? HOW LONG CAN I DO THIS TO THEM??

Back way off sweetie. If you "hover" waiting for his call and his "decision" and his "realization/choices," etc then he'll take it to mean that you are waiting for HIM to admit HE's wrong...or that he has to change...and his pride is struggling with all of this already. Back off.....GAL....be happy, play with d4, etc.

Got it? Make sense?
( j )

25mlc speaketh the truth. It's hard to back off, but as much as you'd like to have been the fly on the wall - you aren't. As much as you'd like him to tell you what got said - he won't. Bottom line is, it's actually not your business to know (at this point).

Been there done that. It's soooo hard not to pry. What can you do to distract yourself?

"OMG I GET IT!! I'M A FOOL AND I NOW SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY AND WHAT MUST BE DONE..BYE BYE C, I HAVE TO GO CALL OW AND KICK HER ASS OUT, AND THEN CALL MEL AND TELL HER ALL THE THINGS I'VE SUDDENLY REALIZED"!!???"

WTH, J, You mean this isn't going to happen!!!??? Hell, I know that. I was laying there in bed, thinking it's good thing he hasn't called. And I was laying in bed, reading, just for the record, Counselor, (hehehehe).

I am totally on back off mode. Really. He has to get there on his own and me hovering isn't going to solve anything. So I'm gonna just let it be.

It is just me being nosy. Really. Just fly on the wall, but it's okay cause he didn't pressure me and I appreciated that and I am more than willing to give it back to him.

J, do you get called Counselor a lot at home??


Oh. I was gonna ask you. Were you USAF or what? Are you or were you a member of afcrossroads.com. I think all you have to do is be in DEERS to be a member. Worth signing up for. I've been there since January 2001. Love those gals. I know it's just one more forum, but it's all military life related, so it's kinda nice. May not really be your thing anymore though. At least it's "normal" problems instead of all marriage stuff. Normalcy is good sometimes.

((((Hugs))))

Mel.

Kevin. Go check your thread. The 2x4 wasn't big enough. I bought a 12x24 instead.

M

Purple, I really am fine with it. It's how it's supposed to be and I know that and will respect it. In the past it would have driven me to drink, and I would have asked. Not anymore.

It's good that he has somewhere safe to go and get these feelings out. Even if it doesn't work out, it's okay. Why? Because at least this shows that he was willing to make an effort.

If he gets to a different answer about our marriage now (div or stay M), it's okay. He didn't stay in stupid little shell and cry "poor me" the whole time. He took one step out. He let a little bit of light in. He sees a different way. It's up to him. If he takes it, fine. If he doesn't that's fine too. At least now he knows that some people DO survive As. Some people DO put their M back together.

I will be okay no matter what. I know that. It may not be what I want. But that's okay too. Nobody died and made me God. (Thank the Lord!!)

Hugs.

Mel

and the better he gets with the c, the better a father he'll be. That's a good thing. For everyone really. And if he had suddenly realized YOU are the problem and it's not him or ow or drinking or whatev....you would already have gotten the call from him spewing.

I was Army, b/c h got put thru med school and if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Left AD in 92 and reserves sometime later on..96? so some of the troops to teachers may not apply. But thanks for the idea and I'll def push the "I'm A War Vet" (yeah, so I'd be a great teacher...) and maybe limp in somewhere...

Take care!

( j )

purple,

where the heck is your thread or are you all locked up? I can't find mine cuz it's really old and I'm too lazy to re-write all that stuff.. Will some time...

Oh, Mel, sorry for the hijack but there's no way of tracking purple these days...
( j )

Hey 25mlc (sorry Mel),

If you go to the top of the page and look where it has the following selectable items across in a row:

Forum List___My Stuff__Calendar__Active Topics__Search__FAQ

The way I find people that I want to read and they have posted recently is to click on Active Topics and select 'Past 24 hours' and then scroll to find the person I want in the author column.

I've just bumped my thread again so it should be close to the top at the moment.

Or...you could click on my name and select Show Posts and select my thread from the list of posts I have made. My thread is called Looking Through Purple coloured glasses.

Purp,

talk to me like I'm five years old when you talk computer stuff...
way too complex for my tiny brain...but (sigh) I shall try. I did install a "new operating system" on my Mac, so I'm probably a genius.
( j )

Ok...

see where my name is in red text in the left hand side of this post?

OK...now left click on my name 'Purple'

you should get a list of options that reads, 'View Profile', 'Send a PM', 'add to youwatched users' and 'View Posts'.

Can you see that?

Ok. Now click on 'View Posts'

You should get taken to a page where all my posts are listed with the most recent post being first. Click on the most recent post called "Looking through Purple coloured glasses' and it will take you to the latest post on my thread.