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Hi Everyone,
Hope you all enjoyed the Super Bowl. I was really rooting for the Cardinals. I'm a sucker for the underdogs.

I considered everyone's responses. Maybe you all had a point that the bad mood came from the kids being here. I didn't help matters. You all know me well enough to know that I react a little too strongly sometimes.

I decided I was going to let him make the next move. H called me today to see if I had everything I needed to take to the Super Bowl party we were invited to. I told him yes. He said he would be over about 4:00 to get me. I wasn't sure if he was still going, but I knew I was, no matter what. He got here early, I wasn't completely ready yet. He followed me around like a puppy while I was trying to get finished getting ready and preparing the dish I was taking.

The Super Bowl party was very nice, way too much good food. It was us and four other couples that we are friends with. I think it's always good when we go around our friends and he gets to see what he would be missing. The friends would never accept OW.
H always made sure to check with me when he got a drink to see if I needed one. I gave him plenty of space at the party. It was always him coming up to me.

When we got back to my house some of DD's friends were still over from watching the game. H was showing them some of his latest pictures from hunting on his phone when he got an incoming phone call from the OW, it was on silent. I saw it. as well as DD and her friend. I started to say something to him, but decided against it.

I looked at it this way, we had a nice evening with our friends and he was at my house hanging out with us. I decided I would let OW wonder what he was up to. He told me Friday night that he wasn't seeing her anymore. Maybe she is the one that is trying to hold on. I'll let her be the one that starts to look needy. I'm sure if she called at that time, she had called earlier in the night. I'm sure she was wondering where he was. She lives a few blocks from him, I'm sure she went by his house too.

Yoyo, I know that was hard to do, but IMHO it was exactly the RIGHT thing to do. I no longer say anything either. Let her be the one to wonder and flip out. Sometimes I feel like I'll chew my tongue off, but in the end its better to say nothing, than blow up and create drama.

I was rooting for AZ too.

Hi Sugar,
It's hard not to root for Kurt Warner, isn't it? H noticed somthing though. They kept showing his wife, either she has grown her hair out and dyed it blonde or he has new wife. Remember when he was in the other Super Bowl many years ago, his wife had very short dark hair with gray in it. What do you think?

Thanks for you comments. I think you are exactly right. Honestly, I do think he has cooled it with her, but she won't let go. Why would she? She left her H for him and now two years later she still hasn't gotten her happy ending? Surely, it's got to be frustrating to her! H did tell me one time that he told his friend he knew he had gotten himself into a mess by cheating with his secretary. H also told me that he doesn't like being around her son who is 10. The little boy is evidently a handful. Although, I think it's probably that he is a normal little 10 year old boy with lots of energy. H and I have two DDs 17 and 20 who were always very laid back, so he is not used to a active little boy. So I have to look at it this way, I have lots more going for me then she does.

That is interesting about OW still calling. I did get a letter from a local plumber that we needed to be really careful during Superbowl or we might plug up our toilets. Maybe is was an emergency.

I was rooting for Pittsburgh and thought they had lost it near the end. Then they had that last touchdown. It was a good game.

So you didn't turn him off last night. That's a good sign. I've been thinking about these WAS's and how they go off to do their thing and whatever they want, and they assume that everyone around them is standing still. They can go off and have the affair, and when they are ready to come back, everything will be the same. No consequences. And then something like last night happens. He is being his typical husband-self, and lo and behold, he's not good enough. He gets rejected. But how could that be? You always took the crap before. He was king, and you had to keep the house spotless, the kids in line, and the pets quiet. And now, the kids and the pets do what they want, and the house is yours. And he's not as welcome as he thought. They just don't get it. They need to do more than just show up. They need to change.

Sara,
I believe you are right abou him seeing that it's no longer his domain here. Tonight at the Super Bowl party I was telling friend a funny story about DD. H walked up and asked what I was talking about. I then told him. I'm sure it has to bother him that DD shares a lot more about herself with me than him.

By the way one of the kids over here tonight was the boy that was over here H was so rude. Tonight H was very nice and friendly to him. I guess he sees that the boy is probably going to be over here a lot more than he is!

Honestly, I had a hard time getting H to leave tonight. I kept hinting around for him to go. When he did leave he told me he would call me tomorrow. We shall see...

I think you did the right thing being hard on him last night. He needs to shape up, and he won't do it without you demanding it of him. Yeah, half of everything he owns is a lot to give up, even if he doesn't mind losing the family aspects of it too. And he's not even sure he wants to lose that.

You are right. I think have to jolt him to wake him up sometimes. I gave him food for thought. I also think going to the birthday party Friday night and Super Bowl tonight showed him what we have together as a couple socially. OW would not fit in with all of them! Friday night when we were fighting he actually told me how much fun he had at the party.

Yoyo,

Do you KNOW what happened to your H on Friday after he left you?

Are you sure he didn't go over to OW's after leaving you if he was feeling in need of 'comfort'?

I just find it strange that she contacted him on Sunday during the Superbowl. On the other hand it might be just that she guessed he would be with you and friends and wanted to cause an argument.

Why do men have to be so confusing?!?! (or is it confused... )

I think your H does want you but he has been playing for 2 years at this messed up game and may not know how to find his way back. Maybe you should leave him a breadcrumb here and there and see where that gets you.

Hugs.

kat