Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Stage 5, Acceptance

FIB,

I sure love her clever comeback, "No, YOUR'E PROJECTING!" Umm, good one 'w'... so original. (And if you must say something Non-DBing, I liked yours, fwiw)

(sigh) and what everyone else said too. New year, new year...

((( j )))

Thanks 25.

Lest anyone forget, saying goodbye is still not easy. We LBS'ers get stuck with that.

Yesterday, my W told me she wanted to take the kids away to the Bahamas at the end of the month (I guess for MLK weekend).

?
Me: Where are you going to get that money? We're struggling here.
W: Well....(voice softens)...I'm gonna get a little help

(Hmmm....note she didn't say my parents)

Me: I'm not sure that leaving the country right now and spending that much money is in our best interests.

(gets angry)

W: You're trying to control me. It's just as expensive to stay here.

In response to my telling her that I am working hard to keep our roof over our head, her voice trailed off to a whimper:
W: I don't WANT to be here anymore.

Her conversation goes on to say that I'm a liar...I don't tell the truth...and I was "an absentee husband".

Whoa. Still living in the past. My older sister tells me that when she describes me to her friends, she said, "he's doing brain surgery with one hand, carrying a baby in the other and doing dishes with the other."

Well...I wouldn't go THAT far.

Yeah...perhaps I was absentee on the PC 4 or 5 years ago...but...that was

Long,
long ago........
in a galaxy
far, far away..................

FIB

To Jack...yeah..prep and drape. All the time. Cheechako me. FIB

PS Jack..remind me someday to tell you how I almost froze to death and also nearly slid off a cliff on an easy '2 day' hike thru the Eagle Pass in the Chugach Mountains. Why didn't anyone tell me that in Alaska, the snow keeps coming...and coming....and coming.....

FIB

Man Down

Last Saturday, I decided to take my kids to the Museum of Natural History in NYC. We were 2/3rds of the way there on the train, when, I heard something that I've heard only once before:

"Is there a doctor on board?"

I leaned sideways and four rows up..on a crowded train...there was a man in his late 60's/early 70's lying on the ground. I stood up. I told D5 and S8 to stay put.

The man was cold, sweaty and barely had a pulse. As many of you know...you revert back to surgical trauma days. I told someone to notify the conductor that we had an emergency. I asked if anyone had candy since the family was able to tell me he was diabetic. I asked for any strong man to come and hold up his legs (increases blood going back to the brain).

He slowly came to. As he stablized, the family 'refused' to let me leave his side until he was able to sit up. The police met the car at Penn Station and he was taken to the hospital.

I was a bit taken aback by all the attention I got from the passengers. Afterall....frank_d and Kerry do computers. I just do 'people'. One passenger got me to laugh with an HMO 'copay' joke.

I didn't 'save this man's life'....but...I did remind myself why I am here. More importantly...my children....saw their daddy....HELP SOMEONE.

THAT..is the only message I gave them that day.

ME: S8...D5...I'm proud that you both stayed put in your seats. We always help people...always try to help someone who is in trouble...that's what we do in a herd (quote from Ice Age).

It only adds to the contradiction that I still contend with inside....but..we know...this has nothing to do why our S's split.

Random acts of kindness. Didn't frank_d start a thread on this?

Strength and honor.
FIB

Well done FIB!

If ever you head back to Alaska, go out to the Aleutian Islands as there is a beautiful woman behind every tree.

Wow!! What an impression you made on your sons that day. Believe me, they will remember it as the day you saved that man's life on the train! And there's nothing wrong with that! It's nice to be a hero every now and then, especially in the eyes of your children!

I would suggest that was a gift from heaven. Not that the man had to be "sacrificed" to give you an opportunity to show your sons who you are, but that it all came together like that, you were all together in a way that worked out well for everyone.

Hey,
I lived in Alaska (twice now) and um, FIB what were you thinking? BTW, Jack, I hear you all are having a bit of a "cool snap" in the interior (like -40'F) and Anchorage is below zero and complaining...such wimps there.

Last night, here in California, it threatened to frost and I had to turn on the heat...

Okay, I'll stop rubbing it in, but I HAIL Alaskans who live there and are cheerful, cuz this time of year that's no small feat.
FIB, you do have some adventure in you, don't you?
j-

flippin' great thing for them to see and watch! Thank God it went well...don't believe for a minute that they'll ever forget it.

Kudos!
j-

Fib, great story on the train my friend and ditto all else that it was awesome that your kids got to see you in action.

As far as the W is concerned, it just still amazes me that they don't get the financial aspect in all of this. Not for nothing but what you were does not matter anymore Fib, what you do in the face of adversity is what is important and in this adversity you have come through in spades.....


Ian