Hey John, Just an outsiders thought, but maybe you are putting too much pressure on yourself. A date, having a date could be as innocent as finding a new friend & nothing more. You don't have to get sucked into the seriousness of it all. Granted if it's through a dating sight then expectations may be more. Ok, thems my quick thoughts on dating.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Still in a rut....dating rut....work rut....just a rut. 10 weeks to go for the golf season to begin.
I need to work on spending better quality time with D8 and concentrate on my career a little.
On the dating front; lawyer 44 is infatuated (more than i am...that sucks). Teacher 36 wants kids...I am out. Airline employee 45 is on vacation with her girlfriend (don't really miss her)....i better stop here because I have a feeling you get the picture of the dating rut I am in.
stbxw called during the superbowl asking if I could get my hands on 3 wii fits from a distributor buddy of mine....also exchanged some work related stuff as well as D8 school things. So I guess we are friends....probably for life...so I better get used to it.
Can you get one for me and send it over? It costs around 350 euros here. I 'll pay for shipping, handling etc etc (assuming it is cheaper there).We are friends for life too, no? My kids after seeing it at my brother's have been begging me for one...
What a rut!!! Indeed.How about the Palestinian, the strip girl, the August 06 playmate, the teacher, etc etc? S
Hey guys thanks for the input. Although this is post DB stuff, it at least shows the struggles that one may have to move on. There are a couple of theories here that have been sent my way that try to explain my reluctance or inability to be totally content with the women that I am meeting. Theory number one is that my stbxw is not totally out of my system. Although I can verbalize it and do not think there is a chance in hell that we can get back together and stay together, maybe subconsciously, I am still hoping. Theory number two is that i am still healing and that i do not want to get hurt. Now if that were the case I would not even initiate contact. Finally theory number three is that I do not want to hurt someone else and therefore need to be absolutelly sure of the viability of the potential relationship.
Theory number four is that a woman need more to appeal to you now. This theory was actually applied to me from a friend and basically he was saying that I've grown a lot and women that used to appeal to me now don't because I'm looking for more.
The first woman I dated is a massage therapist. I think that we had a fun date, but, we really weren't compatible. She was into a bunch of hippy stuff like co-housing that are diametrically opposite to how I see life. So, we didn't go out again.
The second woman I dated was upfront from the beginning that she didn't want to date someone unless it could lead to marriage and I let her know that I'm still working through the process of getting divorced. We went out a few times and then I think she was starting to have strong feelings for me, so, broke things off pointing out that she's looking for a husband and I'm still running around looking for myself. Fair enough. She was close to being a keeper. No, I could see the two of us being happily married, but, not any time soon, and she's feeling the pressure of time.
Anyway, I think that you know what you're looking for and the women that you've been meeting aren't it. So, keep looking and enjoy the process.
You may have hit the nail on the head. Perhaps most of the women I meet are getting attached a little too quickly for my taste. I may also be trying to find myself....luckily nobody has brought up marriage. One lady did bring up kids and I told her that I will not be fathering any more children. Now if she needed some practice, I may be willing to help. Seriously though, I am not sure that I know what I am looking for.
As long as you are aware that you don't yet know what you want, then I think you are doing just fine. no harm in dating someone while you try to sort that out. Just be honest as you have been. If one wants a commitment, you say you aren't ready for that. If one wants children, tell her you aren't interested in more kids. You already know this stuff, I know!
Just don't feel like it is a race. enjoy just having company at this point....some of us haven't had a kiss in a while....
And I am going on 5 months without 'interactions'! Not long to some but forever to me!
Thanks BBJ, i ahve not had interactions in more than 5 months. i remember a time when 5 days used to drive me bonkers....
I try to enjoy the company and i know it is not a race....I just neeed for this damn snow to melt and the golf season to start to get out of this rut. Tonight, I am getting together with some buddies to play poker and have a few Beers....smoke a stogie....GAL (for the boyz). It will do me some good.
BTW, trouble in paradise with the STBX....apparently her sister really let her have it (very mean e-mail) and so did her eldest daughter. Also, some work related stress for her. Strangely, i am still in the protection / what can i do to solve your problems mode. I am one weird puppy. I did not tell her any of this but when I hung up I felt sorry for her. Yes, i kno there is no reason to after her actions.....but that is the way i am wired i guess.
