It is beginning to frustrate me that nobody seems to be able to offer the whole package for me. Maybe my expectations are too high or maybe I do not really want to move forward subconsciously. I am really asking myself the question...am I ready for another long term relationship (or even short term)?
Let's see... with online services you meet zounds of women far faster than if you were on your own. Maybe it forces drive by sampling, that you can't focus on that person because there are so many in the wings. Maybe that's just part of the process. Folks start fast then slow down.
One thing I find amazing is that some folks have been out there for quite a while, keeping an eye on the new folks who crop up.
I love that you're going skating with your daughter and friends. It's precious.
Like my counselor tells me when it comes to questions.. if the answer is an immediate yes, the answer is yes. If it's an immediate no, the answer is no. If I waffle or can't decide.. the answer is no.
John..my approach has been date around...I dated quite a few..maybe once..maybe twice...waiting until I made a connection..then I decided to investigate that connection..it's gonna take lots of patience..I would not rush or make myself feel rushed..but if you feela connection then I think you should investigate that throughly...JMO..
Hey guys thanks for the input. Although this is post DB stuff, it at least shows the struggles that one may have to move on. There are a couple of theories here that have been sent my way that try to explain my reluctance or inability to be totally content with the women that I am meeting. Theory number one is that my stbxw is not totally out of my system. Although I can verbalize it and do not think there is a chance in hell that we can get back together and stay together, maybe subconsciously, I am still hoping. Theory number two is that i am still healing and that i do not want to get hurt. Now if that were the case I would not even initiate contact. Finally theory number three is that I do not want to hurt someone else and therefore need to be absolutelly sure of the viability of the potential relationship.
Theory number two is that i am still healing and that i do not want to get hurt. Now if that were the case I would not even initiate contact.
ahhh I get theory number 2...Ya know what I finallty figured out John..life is full of hurts...it's how you handle and learn from the hurts..that's what defines you as a person...
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Finally theory number three is that I do not want to hurt someone else and therefore need to be absolutely sure of the viability of the potential relationship.
ahhh a sure thing? IMO there are no sure things in this day and time..any relationship means busting your asss to make it work and hope that your partner does not quit on you..
I got nothing for Theory one..maybe when you look at her and see that "blank sheet of paper" then you will know you're done..
it's all I got brother..not much..probably doesn't help..
One more thing on Theory two John..ya know we have had it drilled in our heads that "love" is a choice..we choose to love who we want and who we think deserves our love...some just have different time lines...some want to wait for longer periods of time..some just "get lucky' IMO...nothing wrong with either..you're timeline is the best timeline IMO..you'll choose to love someone...keep doing that your doing..if you get frustrated take a break...
this is one thing that you truly have control over..
John I am not out in the land of dating so I haven't had much to offer you lately. But I just want to say I am glad you are out there if nothing else, making friends and having a social life...
And I understand the possibility of verbalizing that you guys won't possibly get back together but still in the back of your mind wondering if it could happen....
