Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy For the Guy with Kids and a WW 23

Thanks guys. Really.

It was upsetting seeing that stupid picture. Moreso, the fact that she has it out for the kids to see. THAT is what pissed me off most.

I'll figure out my timeline. It won't be soon, I'm sure. I'll just keep trucking on and try to maintain as much no contact as possible.

Beej, you think I've been doing good the past couple of days? Dont' know about that.

What I DO feel like is that I've let my wife slip through my fingers for that last two years.

But that is over and done. Can't change the past, because she wouldn't give me a real chance.

Move forward, move forward.

We can always look back and say oh if I had done this or that at this time, the outcome would be different. Don't beat yourself up over that stuff because who knows if that would have been the case. It is done, can't go back and retry something when all the pieces are in other places.

So just look forward and you will be fine.

kat

OMG, I hadn't even thought about that. How does she do that? I'm so so sorry, H. Karen

Hey all.

I'm trying to stay off a little more. At least during the day when I should be working.

I just read what lodo said to kat that, being here and posting so much seems to keep you thinking about our sitch more. I do believe that, at least for me. I think I've mentioned that before.

Anyhoooo

Last night, GBG called my phone from S14's Sprint phone and I had D7 answer it. They talked for a while. D11 was in the shower and I could hear her ask D7 to tell D11 to call her later. After she hung up, D7 tells me that I need to write a note because her mom is going to pick her up from school tomorrow(today).

Later, I get D7 to bed and D11 is just chilling in her room. She usually doesn't think about calling her mom and I didn't remind her to. And she didn't. This morning, waking up D7, she asks if her mom came and dropped off the video's last night. I ask her what she is talking about. She says that GBG told her that they forgot the videos she rented and then she told D7 that she was going to bring them by last night.

Just like her. Tell them something and not follow through on it.
Why the hell say anything?

Thought about GBG on my in to work this morning, which seems to be my norm. Her and our sitch. Thinking if I'll see her car in town. Nope.

Worked half a day today and the rest was at a training class for a new system we'll be using at work. Got out around 4 and decided to go to the grocery store for stuff. I called S14 on his new phone and told him I was checking out and I'll be there in about 10 or 15 minutes. He comes with us tonight and tomorrow. I knew I didn't have to pick up D7 from afterschool. I was hoping that GBG wasn't going to try to have us stay for dinner or something.

Arriving at the apartment, the girls are both in the parking lot with the dog and some friends. Good, I don't have to go knock. I tell them to get their stuff and lets go. I start to move some stuff around in the car to make room. D11 comes out with her stuff, D7 comes just after and I hear her telling her mom that she needs something from the car. I was hoping to not see her at all, but she came out. I don't really say anything to her. I put D7's stuff in my car. GBG then starts to tell me that she fed D11 and S14 already, but not D7.

"Do you want me to....."
She gets cut off by the kids saying something and D7 looking for whatever in GBG's car. The kids are running around and I just go about what I was doing, blowing off what she was going to say. I KNOW what she was going to ask. Finally, the kids are getting in my car and she looks at me like, "Okay, finally!"

"I was GOING to say that D7 didn't eat. If you want, I can pack her fish sticks and macaroni to take."
"No. Thats okay. We'll eat at home." and I turn to close the back of my Explorer. She stands there for a moment, just lookign and then she says her goodbyes to the kids. I get in and don't say anything to her. D7 makes a comment on how she told her that the shirt she was wearing was too tight for her. For GBG that is.
"I know. I was only here at home, it doesn't matter."

I thought the comment was funny. I had prepared a comment myself if she was going to ask if we wanted to eat dinner there together, but she fed them already.

"No thank you. I have food for them. Save it for sancho when he comes to spend the night tonight."

Didn't get the opportunity.

As I'm getting ready to back out, D7 starts to call her mom.

"MOM. MOM."
"What?" asks her mom.
"When are we moving?"
"What?"
"When are we moving?" she asks again.
"I'm...not sure. I don't know if we are. We're going to have to talk."

I backed out and left. Then I noticed that D11 had brought S14's Sprint phone with us. Now GBG doesn't have anything at home.

Awww. I told myself, I better not get a phone call from her using f*cknuts phone. There would have been drama.

We had fun on the way home and at home. They ate again like I figured they would. Eating a dinner at 5pm is a little too early. She did it on purpose. She HAD to feed them. Baths and then to bed for the girls. D7 goes to bed at 8:30, D11 at 9 and S14 usually hits the bed around 11 or so.

I had fun on FB tonight. I did contact Randy by email tonight to see if all was well. He replied he was ok, but more chit coming. Said he would update later.

I had an old high school bud invite me as a friend a couple weeks ago. He was a senior when I was a freshman and he is now a band director for a high school. That was in my band days. First two years of high school. Marching band and Jazz band. I was an average trumpet player, but hated the whole "Band" persona. I rebeled, got kicked out and then played football.

Got invited by another guy that I graduated with on FB. Been years. Good to hear from him. We weren't that great of friends, but we played ball together, went to the same parties and hung out a little. I pretty much hung with all kinds of different people. The jocks, the partiers, the heads, the socials, the band people. He was part of the really popular crowd. Although I did hang with them too, I just felt a little of an outsider with them. He's already invited me to Austin, where he lives now. Sounds like he hasn't changed a whole lot since HS. Sounds like he still likes a good party.

Sounds like fun. He wrote to me that he was divorced, paying child support, bald and fat, and from the sound of his post to my wall, that he still liked to drink it up. And it seems that he likes to run marathons?! Thats a strange mix.

Also chatted with my bud Javi over there. I told him that I was pretty much finished. He said that was too bad, but that he believed that I really tried.

I told him that if anything, the only thing left to try is to NOT try.

But I'm not going to wait forever.

SOunds like you are doing pretty well. You are in reality mode and it is where you need to be. It will make her live in reality as well.

Moving...wth.....You have talked to a lawyer, etc., right? Just make sure you are not caught off guard with this....my divorced friend the other day said how she plans on moving to a city 2 hours away and she is taking the kids, because they need their mother, and her ex is just going to have to deal with it. These type of people ONLY care about themselves. They are in a selfish, destructive mode, and until/unless she realizes this is not right, she will continue to live this way. Just be careful. I have hope for your wife, but she has not realized the error of her ways, and until she does she will not be making good choices.

Moving??? You should not have heard that from your kids first! Where is she moving.

Howdy folks.

Been keeping busy with my kiddo's and focusing more on work. With the way things are going in banking, I need more production. Can't afford to lose my job.

Just basically having fun with the kids. Last night was lasagna night. D11's favorite. Some French bread and olive oil with spices for dipping. Said goodbye to S14 this morning. He'll be doing his usual of going to his dads for the weekend after school. I found out yesterday that I have to work on Saturday, so I'll be taking the girls to grandma's to spend the night tonight. Tomorrow after work, I'll be taking them to a "Junie B Jones" play. They're excited.

Got off a little early yesterday, so I went to renew my drivers license. I had forgotten it had expired on my Bday last month. Afterwards, went for a haircut. I should have done the haircut first. Now I have to have a bushy head on my pic for the next 7 years.

When I went to pick up D11 and S14 from the apartment yesterday(I've been waiting outside the door), D11 came out talking on S14's phone. She was talking to GBG. Normal stuff. I did hear her say something about, "We're already leaving". We picked up D7 from her school and head home. The kids were really having a good time together. Chasing each other, wrestling, tickling. I joined in a little when D7 came running into the kitchen to hide behind me. I used to yell when they used to do the rough housing stuff, but now I let them.

The weird things we miss.

They went their separate ways for a bit and I finished cooking. S14 comes out of his room and asks D11 what bus number she rides home to the apartment. Their mom is asking. She tells him, he relays it back to his mom and goes back to his room.

That was an odd question. It didn't dawn on me until this morning that D11 still had S14's Sprint phone at the house. Wondering what phone she called from, this morning I was letting S14 know that I thought the question last night was odd. He didn't say anything. He's like that. He refuses to get in the middle of things. Whether is concerns his dad, his mom or myself. He'll offer no explanations for anything.

And thats fine. I don't WANT him to feel like he is in the middle. He's always felt that about his dad and his mom.

I did ask him if his mom's phone was working yet and he said that it was. So her cell is back on.

When I pick up D11 from the apartment tonight, I'll leave the remainder of the money that I owe for the afterschool care for D7. No note. Nothing funny. Just the money.

Trying to keep on moving forward. Called the buddy yesterday that contacted me by FB. Left a VM. He called me back today, but I couldn't take the call. His VM said that it was good to hear from me. He is in Austin, but comes to San Antonio often because it is part of his territory. He told me that beig married and divorced just once was enough for him. He mentioned that my response to him on my FB wall made him laugh and he'll call me when he comes in town so we can have some drinks.

Here's to a great weekend.

I did a little investigative work this morning while at work.

I know that she read my email. Had to have been around the afternoon of the 4th. Her emails have been unchecked since then. That was the night she came over to pick up the girls from the house and I fed them burgers.

So now I know. I saw that she was emailing someone around Thanksgiving. Maybe 7 or 8 emails back and forth, but I decided not to look.

What for? I'll just upset myself, I reckon.

After work, gonna go take my girls to the play. My bud called me last night asked if I could watch his daughter tonight, so the girls will get to be with their friend again this weekend.

You ignored my last post. But ya sound good, so all the power to ya.

Beej, I didn't mean to ignore you. I AM in reality mode and doing pretty well. I have my moments of sadness still, but fewer than before.

As for an attorney, I have not had an actual sit down. Have had a phone consult with a couple of them, but nothing solid. One wanted a $5,000 retainer. I happen to speak to my folks yesterday about some things. Mom thinks I should try to get full custody and at the very least, divorce her and get the current custody in writing and in place. I told her I'm getting there, but not quite there yet.

Mom also believes that the Good Lord is preparing me to have my kids full time. That the wife is going to stroke out or something and I'm going to HAVE to have them with me.

My sister was telling of some ways to get free advise and help through the County Courthouse. Have to look into that.

Had a great time with my girls today. They loved the play. We plan on doing more stuff like that. Next thing for us to do is a concert. The we went 'sightseeing' downtown. Went up on the Hemisphere Tower of Americas. I've lived here all my life and have never gone up it. We had a blast.

Coming home, I picked my buds daughter, who is my D11's best friend. The one that wife and I considered our step daughter. She's gonna spend the night, so they were excited.

After doing the stuff with the girls today, however, got a feeling of sadness. Of emptiness. Had a really good time, but something just wasn't right. I was tell my bud. The wife and I used to do everything together. Everything. Hard to get used to, still.

Mom kept asking me what it was that kept me attached to her. What was it about her. I told her that I loved who she used to be and that the hard part was that I knew that 'she' was still inside of her. Somewhere, but that I didn't think that even if she came to the realization now and wanted to make a go of it, the uphill battle with my family, our friends would be so steep, I don't think that she's that strong of a person. But who knows what the future holds.