If former OM calls again, I will have to tell him and we will have to do more. But I sure hope that doesn't happen because former OM will have more power in our relationship than I want him to have. H and I are done with the past and are moving forward.
Thanks for looking in on me.
I agree with not letting former OM have that kind of power in your life. If you hang up on him immediately every time he calls, I should think he would get the message. Problem solved. And do you have a cell phone that tells what number is calling you. I have one like that, so you don't even have to answer. That's prob. even better. Karen
Whatdidido, you made the right decision. Just don't be afraid of getting you H involved if OM continues to be a problem. Take the long term view. The OM won't be around forever and your M will.
Thanks, Kat. I know you weren't belittling the situation. It feels good to know you are there if I need you.
Tal, thanks. I'm lucky to be where I'm at. I won't make the same mistakes again. Thanks for the hugs.
Mel, there is always hope. Yeah, I am going to just let the answering machine get the calls unless my H answers them. I could have his number blocked, but he would just use a different phone. I could change to a private number and that may be a step I'll take if he calls again.
Karen, thanks. I do have a cell, and if people can't get ahold of me on the landline they can call that. My friends and family have that number, and I never gave it to the former OM.
Thanks, JWM. I will tell H about this if it happens again, because I'll have to. I hate that former OM lives close and I could run into him at any time. Before, it was because I didn't want to hurt him by having to see me with my family. But now, it is because I am afraid how he will react. I think he could get angry and say something to my family.
So, anyway, no calls. Good. I was sick last night. Nothing sounded good to eat but I knew I should eat. I said, "Maybe a McDOnald's burger." H jumps up and says, "You got it." He came back with a meal and surprised me with ice cream, too. He takes care of me like no other man ever could. I love him so much.
Didi, It is so nice to see that you and your H are working so hard to mend your marriage. You are right, your H is a keeper!
I agree with everyone else about the OM, just don't answer his calls. If he continues to call I agree that you should tell H that you are ignoring his calls, but he continues to call. You and your H can work together for a solution. I think H would appreciate your honesty and will see how much you want your marriage to work. But for right now, I think I would just handle it the way you did.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
NO contact from OM, no hang up calls. I think he's done.
Found out that a friend of a guy I went out with while separated is friends with some high school friends. The biggest gossips of the school. Worried about them talking. I'm suppose to see a whole bunch of my old classmates this summer. Makes me not want to go.
Still dealing with the fallout of my decisions. Again, would have been easier to divorce and blame it all on our "bad marriage". I would have looked a whole lot better. Now, I look like the cheater that I was. It's worth it to be with my H now, but I've lost my reputation. Makes me want to move away.
I felt like that too. I haven't been a cheater, but I don't think I was that good a mom or wife when I was depressed prob. for 2 years or so. I just look at it as I can't relive or change my past, but just work twice as hard to be the best mom that I can be. You made a mistake, but were so strong to not just cut and run. I think you should be proud of yourself!!! Karen
Perhaps you did lose your reputation but did you lose it with the only person that has a vote? Does your H constantly see you as such? I think you could honestly say no to both questions. You have a second chance and you have both taken it.
Sure it might be fun to revisit the past with high school friends but if that is what you would like to do why don't you invite your "old gang" to a get together. No one says you have to go to a reunion just because you are having one. No one wants to hang out with the gossips anyhow except for the other gossips!!
Hold your head up high, I am incredibly proud of you.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
You gals always know what I need to hear. THank you so much for always taking the time to post to me. Your thoughts are sooo valuable to me.
Karen, isn't the feeling awful? Like I want a "do over" but can't. I don't feel all that proud, but I know my choice in the end was the right one- to repair my marriage, and I'm so glad I didn't give up.
Kat, you're right. We both know the only one whose view on me matters. No, my H doesn't see me in poor light at all. Good idea about getting a bunch of friends together. Honestly, I see the friends I care about now, it's those ones that you remember from school that you weren't super close to but would like to see again..you know what I mean?...maybe it's not worth it. Bless you for posting to me when you are in such an emotional place right now.
Sara, you are right as usual as well. Guess I'm not worrying about it. I was going through different people and playing in my head what I would say if they said something, and then thinking how they wouldn't say something to my face but everyone would be talking about me. What an awful feeling. I need to just let it all go. Can't think about it. It's high school stuff, you're right.
