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Hey Julia, Sounds like you are handling things great & getting some good advise. Bravo!!

Hey Ms M, good to see you.
Mishka, I thought I was about to pass out at some points as the room is heated to 100 degrees fahrenheit! But it was really great and I feel great today.

So, some h interactions I thought I would report on...

I answered his question about why I needed to see the internet bill, as my home internet is playing up, and he replied really quickly (in the evening btw so on ow time ) saying that they don't send bills as it is done online but he would find the number for me, I just replied saying 'great, thanks'. Then at 8am this morning a text came through from him with the number to phone. I was just going to reply with thanks but I thought I'd be a bit nicer and said 'thanks, hope they sort it out soon, I'm missing valuable iplayer' (iplayer is the watch again BBC service). I was not expecting a response but he did (during a work day - see it can be done )and said that 'how annoying. I hope you didn't miss Hustle, I'm so pleased it's back'. I thought I might not respond, but then decided to carry on being friendly and did agreeing with him and adding a bit of Hustle gossip on one of the actors. Hustle was a programme we used to really enjoy together so it was nice he thought of me. Also good that he responded immediately too and he initiated some. He hasn't responded to my last text but that is fine it didn't 'need' a response.

Looking at what worked here rather than analysing it too much... I think asking for information so I could fix the problem, not asking him to fix it worked. Then he went the extra mile and found me the phone number - he could have just told me the name of the company and I could have looked it up myself.

So, not earth shattering but fairly unusual in the world of Julia and h interactions.

Sounds like a good interaction. Low tension and that is a plus.

Congratulations on the interactions! Way to go, Julia!!

LOVE,
T

And congratulations on the yoga!!!! yay!!!! maybe some day we can participate in a trans-atlantic yoga extravaganza!!! (I used to think...oh, this yoga is SO expensive... but it is SO worth it to me.)

And good luck on your choir concert too!!!!! please give Lisa a hug for me!

(((julia)))
love,
T

Hi Julia,

Just reading along (I always do). It seems like you are seeing some baby steps, so this is a real plus. As always, I really admire your patience and perseverance. So at this point are you waiting for your H to suggest times to meet up and discuss the house etc.?

ITH

(((Mishka))) Yes, low tension is a really good phrase - I like that a lot!

(((T))) Thanks I think we would have so much fun with yoga and recorder/cello duets!! I would love for us to hang out one day. You are right, the yoga really is worth it for me. I am going to start going once a week. Thanks for the concert wishes, we have rehearsal tonight so I will make sure I pass on your hug to Lisa.

(((ITH))) thank you for reading it's so nice to know people do, makes me feel not quite so alone in this.

H update - As h said he'd suggest another time I left it to him. He texted me last night to suggest tonight. It is funny because, although I have an important choir rehearsal tonight, my mind immediately started planning how I could get around my schedule to meet him i.e. leave work early and get the choir late. But then I thought no, there is no way he would do that for me. Work comes above me at all times and so do all other commitments. So I replied saying 'I can't tomorrow, Wednesday would be better, does that suit you?'. He hasn't replied yet. Hmmm I feel a slightly unnerved as it is the first time really that I have said no directly but choir is an important commitment for me. I suppose it is just so unusual that he is not my top priority.

Oh yes, (and sorry if this is boring!)nothing major but I thought I would mention it as it was a little lesson for me was that a slightly annoying thing happened yesterday, but in fact I have decided was a good thing.

H has his mail redirected and they redirected one of my letters by accident which happened to be the confirmation of the estate agents I saw that came round. He sent it back to me. Even if he hadn't peeked inside he would have seen their logo on the post mark. I had hoped that I wouldn't have to bring up that I saw those agents but then I thought about it and that would be lying by omission and I want to be open and honest with him. I hate it when he does that to me and I want to act with integrity throughout this no matter what if it comes up I will not withhold the information.

Hey Julia...

Thats great, well done! I think its very positive that he agreed to meet with you at last and that you then put it off until Wednesday. I was reading about Wednesday being a bit of a clue to whats coming up ahead... this blog explains it better than I can: realastrologers.

I think you did the right thing to not 'jump' when he offers you a meeting, plus you have more time to sort of mentally prepare. Dont worry too much about the estate agent thing.. I wouldnt bring it up and its pretty inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.. if it was unopened, he would probably assume its a follow up to previous enquiries or something. Anyway, your lying by omission does in no way compare to his!!!

I was just thinking of you and then opened up DB and there was your message. I am feeling a bit lonely and feeling that being the LBS is hard, and you are certainly not alone in this!

Al xxx

Hey Julia,

Thought I would pop by. I read your lastest thread and sort of summed up what seems to be going on.

It's important that you continue to not always be available when he text you, email you or calls you. The 180 here for you is to wait...maybe even 24 hours before contacting him back. It will be hard.

Telling you couldn't meet up was spot on.

New interest are encouraged. The yoga is a great idea. Its good for you.

Right now you need to get focused on you becoming better. You by yourself what are you going to do with your life to be happy?

This is were I got and then I started seeing my H turn around toward me.

I got to the point where I made a choice. I was going to live the rest of my life happy....with him or without him. Was I sad over losing my family..you bet ya. But I don't want to be sad forever so I forced myself to smile and interact with random people through out the day. The responses I got back were amazing and helped build my PMA. So I figured if I was moving on with my life and he decided he would return that would be good (but he gambled on that because I wasn't going to wait forever) and if he never returned..... well that was his loss and our childrens.

Just my two cents