I do not pay her for staying home - she just has used whatever cash there has been as if I did.
I knew that was actually the case when I posted, I just could not BELIEVE that she would think that, let alone say it out loud and think it was ok.
I'm sorry Randy, but your W needs some serious psychiatric counseling. She is delusional and your k's are being made to suffer because she is being a child instead of an adult.
Originally Posted By: lost_in_space
(((S+S)))
She is sick. She is delusional. She is lost (Puppy you were right). She is so alone and dragging the kids down.
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
No offense to anyone here, certainly not our dear LIS, as I've been doing this on his thread too recently, but looking back over these posts just now, I see WAY too many "she", "she", "she"; "her", "her", "her."
OK, we will all STIPULATE that she's lost, crazy, nutso, botz, certifiable and childish right now. The question is, what are you going to DO about it? What is working that you can continue, what is NOT working that you can change, and what is your PLAN for the next day, week and month?
I think you're still REACTING to her mostly.
Puppy
Oh and I think I will also re-post what is one of the best lines I have heard in a while, said in respinse to me saying W should contribute financilly to covering family expenses:
Originally Posted By: W of Lost
no I don't and I never have and I never will. You pay me for my job to stay at home. This is my full time job. What I do over and above that obviously is going to be my money. But my job currently is a stay at home mom which was mutually agreed upon by both of us. Therefore I am entitled to your income as well.
Puppy, you are right. Too much focus on W. This is a new year and I told myself no more of that. Yet I am not sure of what to do. Things are with L's - my response is yet to go in and will be done soon. I AM doing more for me and am not too worried about what W is doing. Puppy, I have done things that MAYBE are starting to be felt (financial) but I did those for me and k"s, not to "get to W". What else would you do if in my sitch? What would the others do in my sitch?
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Randy, at this point, do you believe that the divorce is inevitable?
What are you feeling? Do you believe that she is showing you her real self? Do you want to be with this person? Do you feel like there is something there at all?
For me, in retrospect, being married to my wife is more than being together to raise the kids.
What have you learned from this? About yourself.
I don't know, I'm just in one of those moods. I'm still pondering some of those questions myself.
I think tonight, I'll have a scotch and water on ice, sir.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
I AM doing more for me and am not too worried about what W is doing.
Maybe you are, but that's not what's coming across on here, at least to me. And I'm wondering if you're conveying that same sense to your wife, in which case you're not sufficiently detached.
Our goal is "lovingly detached" -- you still sound angry (and justifiably so, don't get me wrong), and enmeshed. That's not a good combination.
Maybe just tired of this, but am confused. If you look at the last convo, for example, how does it come across as angry? Or is it something else that you are thinking of? How would you have handled diff?
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Puppy - understand I think. Anger certainly is there and I do not hold it back here, but I thought I was doing that in "real life" - maybe not as well as I thought.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Another day, another 45 cents (no more dollar after taxes and inflation).
Sitting at work minding my own business when my phone rings. W asking me what my plans are re AZ in Feb. Nothing finalized but k's and I are invited to good friend's 65th b'day party. We all used to be good friends til last year. I hadn't finished looking into it and told w this.
She asked why I poisoned her R with them. What? She said you have been talking to them (yeah so) you are hurt and being vindictive, so why did you poison my R with them? Sheesh. I simply said "W, call them and ask them that question".
W then got on the need to sit this weekend and discuss living arrangements. My response was no can do while legal process under way. Of course I was hit with the "put your k's first for once" comment. No reply from me.
W then said she would not let me take k's out of country - did you hear that. I said I heard what she said. Couldn't get into it while at work. She later e-mailed and said she had talked to d16 and if k's want to go, they have her permission. Lovely.
Anyway - back to work for a bit.
Btw - did something for me -bought a new bottle of Aqua, a new digital video recorder, new pillow and a new BlueRay player last night...
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Another day, another 45 cents (no more dollar after taxes and inflation).
Sitting at work minding my own business when my phone rings. W asking me what my plans are re AZ in Feb. Nothing finalized but k's and I are invited to good friend's 65th b'day party. We all used to be good friends til last year. I hadn't finished looking into it and told w this.
She asked why I poisoned her R with them. What? She said you have been talking to them (yeah so) you are hurt and being vindictive, so why did you poison my R with them?
\
A: "I'm sorry you feel that way. I decided I'm no longer willing to lie to cover up your affair."
