Hey.. first.. but.. sorry to see you are down. I'm feeling like your post too! I'm so sorry things arent picking up. What happened about his invite on the weekend, you said he seemed surprised you didnt want to go.. did he ask you why not? Did you tell him why not? Could you reconsider?
Sending you a hug and a promise that I am sure we will turn a corner soon, at least by Spring !!! Al xxxxx
Al, unless something is discussed and dealt with I am not going to spend an evening with his sister (who I stopped liking), get back at home at 5 in the morning, spend all of my Sunday recovering and NOT talk a full sentence with H (at these places music is live, very loud, smoke, booze, flowers, plates etc etc). That is not what I need. I will stop doing things hoping something will happen when I dont feel like it.
I would love to go out to dinner, a movie maybe, talk about life in general, nice things etc etc... That's not an option so I am staying home with my babies.
He asked why, I said I dont feel like going. End of discussion.
ok, am I to understand that he has time off and will not spend it with you alone or with the kids? Did you ask him to? Did you tell him you would want that?
Last edited by sandycay; 01/09/0901:13 PM.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Haven't posted much to you b/c I am not sure what to say. I would want to slap him and say, "Wake up! You are losing me again!"
Ok but in all seriousness...when he asked you to go out with him and his sister and BIL, you said you didn't feel like going. Did you then say, "But I would like to do something with you, just the TWO of us? A date?"
I know you are sick and tired of carrying the load, and it isn't fair. But I would hate to see this marriage go down without even ONE date that was just the two of you.
Could you call him now, at work or wherever, and just say, "H, I need for us to spend time alone together, just the two of us, to see if this is going to work"....
Hey K... well, if you put it like that, I dont blame you for not wanting to go! I agree with Bobbi.. can you just be honest and tell him you would like to go out on a date with him? I guess he doesnt get much time to catch up with his family.. you said this before.. what with working 2 jobs, late nights, seeing the kids (?).. it doesnt leave much time for maintaining other friendships/family stuff, so when he got an invite, perhaps he feels its improtant to go? (who knows what your H regards as important hey!).
I remember you said though that his sister had not at all been supportive since your separation and that you were cross at her for that last year.. so I am not surprised you dont want to go go out with her.. does your H iknow that? Is he aware she was not at all helpful to you when you were S?
Just seems to be a communication breakdown generally, but then, he is not talking to you is he !
I have absolutely no idea what to say K. I just know that I'm so sad for you. It's like your M is just slightly out of your reach and you keep stretching and stretching only to have it never get any closer. I'm so sorry.
Do what you need to do for you and I'll support you no matter what!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
