Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? New Year New Goals

I know, I know...the hopeless romantic in me keeps thinking that my love alone can be enough to make the magic happen. That if I want it bad enough, I can have it.

But the realist is very quickly catching up to the romantic and will soon overtake her, I believe...

woog..I'm sorry I made you spew grape nuts..

BBJ post made me see than Dan is just batchitt..he is a DAM doubled..maybe even quadrupled...and that he sees M as a game..

BBJ,

I'm a true incurable romantic and I would have 4x4ed your boy after the first affair.

Camo? Seriously? That's a new one on me. Have you thought about getting a karate belt rack for him? I got one for my son and he needs another one now. He's testing for his black belt so his is incredibly full. I got his from a guy on ebay that is in PA and makes them and burns their name into the top or whatever else you want. Really great!

On the Dan front......he is completely lost girlfriend! He has no clue how to have a R. He sounds just like my XH, I caught you so now I don't have to do anything to keep you. Then, he was the one that walked because he "just didn't feel the same way anymore". Yeah, whatever. Feelings ebb and flow but M is forever (at least for some of us).

I hope you can get some distance from him and his BS soon. Take care of yourself and the kids and let him spin in the wind babe.

BobbiJ,

I can't think of anything new to add that Mike and Woog didn't already say. I know that feeling of "I can't believe this is happening to me". It sucks.

Being in the proximity of your H has got to be so confusing.

I refused and so should you to be Plan B

I respect that everyone has different levels of crap they will take. In saying this, I mean that When you get a big ole belly full of this sh*t, you'll shove yourself away from the table. Only you know when it's enough...... it seems like our opinion of Dan is for sh*t and we care for you. We are biased that way.

Take peace that you will recognize when you have had enough and will act in the manner that is best for you and your kids.

BBJ,

Talk to us.... whassup?

Whassup..........hmm......

1)I ran 3.7 miles yesterday, hoping to get up to 5 miles by the end of the month.

2)Nathan practiced karate last night and did an awesome job!

3)Sydney made me laugh on the way to daycare yesterday. I gave her to crackers in the car and she held them over her eyes and said "Mommy I have my silly face!" and grinned. It was too cute.

4)Got to work ON TIME today--hooray! And this is my first 'off-task' moment!

Otherwise...



I am not sure about otherwise. I am feeling kind of guilty/embarrassed/ashamed to report b/c I respect you all and care about you and I am afraid what is going on will disappoint all of you...


On New Year's Eve I had sent dan an e-mail just telling him that I was disappointed that he had given up on us so quickly. I told him that he said he wanted to 'work on it', then he gave up at the first roadblock he found. I told him that to me 'working on it' meant that it would take WORK! We would BOTH have to make compromises and fix things that were wrong in the past to make them better for the future. It was more than that but that is the gist...I even said that if he was really ready to go, I would help him get his home loan. (I don't know if I would but at that point I decided to just totally let go and get him out since that is what he wanted)

Instead

He replied back that he didn't want the house anymore. And he would be home right after work. We spent New Year's Eve having a 'party' with the kids, and we shared a happy new year's kiss before bed.

Then H left for his 4 day trip to Texas. Texted me the whole time where he was and what he was doing.

Sunday evening he met me at karate and sat next to me (my parents were there too). That night he came to bed in our bed. Monday morning he came in where I was getting ready for school and kissed me goodbye before leaving for work.

Last night, he was home again after work, ate dinner, played with the kids, slept in our bed with me, kissed me goodnight.

I am not sure what is going on, if he actually got the point of my message that working on it meant actually jumping in and doing it instead of talking about it. Or if he is just biding his time..

But last night he also talked to me about switching our insurance over to a new company b/c he doesn't like the rep for our company in our new town. It was the first type of planning/future talk he has had with me in quite a while....

It is almost like he left for Texas and came back a different person. No yelling, no fighting, no arguing, no moody distance, just hanging out together...

This is either really good or really really bad....

Just an observation - when you get to the point of giving him the boot, he seems to respond by pulling you back closer. But it doesn't seem that he does so because he wants to reconnect with you, but because he needs a comfortable home and the alternative is too hard for him. Keep your expectations low. If this is a genuine change it will stick and progress. Unfortunately, his history would suggest that these "changes" are not what you need and not what you are want.

Broken...confused and broken

oh..we are way beyond broken..

we are game playing...

do what ya gotta do to get what ya gotta have--that is Dan..
he has what he sees a M as..that's all he needs and wants..

the status quo