Im doing ok, much better since I last talked to you. Things have stabilized with in me a bit and in my sitch, we are far from over, but at least me and my w are making some plans to do things together and with the kids. We had a tiny positive glimmer last week.
Ill explain more about that another time. But we still have a long way to go, we shall see what happens.
Hope you are doing well. I understand your a busy gal right now! Good for you. God bless okay?
Talk soon.
Joe
M: 37 WAW: 35 D's: 9 & 7 M: 13 Bomb: 01/28/08 Status: Limboland Total bomb drops: Lost count! Support: Here, God above, and now the Love Dare
I don't come over here much...I should, especially since my life is starting to settle down.
I just came today, as I get ready to complete my Thanksgiving meal preparations, to say that I'm am so thankful for you, your support, your prayers, your love, your encouragement, and all the time you've spent with me over the last few months! I wouldn't be where I am now if it hadn't been for you!! I mean that from the bottom of my heart!!!
God is GREAT, and you are doing good things in His name!!!
I love you, and I wish you and your family the very best this Thanksgiving!!
Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
Thank you sweetheart. That is the shot in my arm that I needed b/c I have felt very useless for over the past two years (especially) and have not felt physically able to do what I used to do, but more importantly, I have not felt spiritually worthy to do some of what I used to do in the Church. I had even begin to wonder if God had removed any "gift" He may have given me at one time b/c of my "sin of EA". I know He has forgiven me, but I am still stuggling with the "fallout" within my own heart. If I were standing before a group teaching, I would tell then all the reasons they should not feel that way........so I know...the reasons, but it is still hard to forgive myself and know that I have disappointed my family so badly. This board started out being a place for me to seek help and somewhere along the way, (not meaning I am whole or "all that")but,I wanted to "pay it forward". I thought that if I can do nothing else but be able to put in a day of work, come home and sit at this computer and try to help somebody......anybody, then maybe someday my life would begin to have meaning again. Amy, not only you, but here lately....there have been some other kind people who have given me words of blessings that I need for my soul (if I can express it in such a way) and I pray that it is God's way of telling me that He will still use me.....somewhere.....someplace. If He doesn't use me where I once was....maybe He will allow me to serve Him in another way.
I feel very, very humble today. I have been pretty sick for over a week, but this morning I woke up early and felt almost like a "human being" (lol). When my H woke up, I was stirring around in the kitchen and I thought he was going to have a heart attack when he saw me :). I giggled and said, "See honey, God still performs miracles." He came toward me and I met him and held him and said, "Happy Thanksgiving, Darling" and he told me the same and told me he loved me. He kept holding me so tight and I think he was trying to hide his tears (you know men!) but it was a precious moment God gave us that has been long over due. I hope my sharing that with you.....does not make you feel depressed with your own stitch today. The reason I wanted to tell.....not just you, but everyone that follows my story....is that I never, ever thought I could love my H more than I loved my pair of old houseshoes ( ) Isn't that awful? I did go to extreme there but I'm trying to make a point (lol). My point is........God is good and I wanted to tell all of you that whatever happens in your life.....the good, the bad....the ups, the downs.......don't give up on God b/c He loves us more than we will ever be capable of loving. We are the ones that make a mess out of our lives and we should never be angry at God for our own bad decisions.....or another person's bad decisions. Some of you will learn to move on in your lives without your first love, but trust God to have, waiting for you,.......whatever it is that will make you happy.
Today, I showed my H the post that Amy has just sent me. That was a huge move on my part. I wanted him to see why I spend so many hours at this computer. I told him it made it all worth while to see something like Amy just wrote. He just smiled and said.....he knew.
We had a very good talk about what happen to me and my forgiving myself, etc. Of course I cried a lot.....but good for the soul. I don't know if he will ever understand how I feel about his part of the breakdown in the M, or if we will ever be able to change or work through that. We didn't even go close to that subject....just talked about me and what I did. We may have to just try to start where we are this day and try a "brand new beginning". Sound familiar? But, with me.....every day may need to be seen as a brand new beginning.
I hope for myself, as well as for all of you--my friends in our community on this board, can take each day as a brand new beginning and make the best that we can with what we have to work with. I want that to be my early new year's resoloution. I must learn to take a day at a time and stop crying over what I can't do any longer and be thankful for what I can do!! That is my praise & prayer today......thankful to God for allowing me to do whatever I can--wherever He places me--under whatever circumstances I'm going through.
I sincerely hope none of this sounded pious in any sense of speaking. My heart feels very humble today and very grateful for all of you.....my friends. Thank you Amy, and thank all of you for your encouragment when I would feel so low and so useless and you picked me up. Thanks to those of you who were here with me from the beginning. My heart is full today.......and my eyes are too (lol) with tears.
Amy, you are a joy to my heart (adopted daughter). ((I love this unseen lovely young lady that has won my heart!)) There is much in store for you. God will not forsake you. He will not forget you and your faithfulness.
Love to all, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
) Isn't that awful? I did go to extreme there but I'm trying to make a point (lol). My point is........God is good and I wanted to tell all of you that whatever happens in your life.....the good, the bad....the ups, the downs.......don't give up on God b/c He loves us more than we will ever be capable of loving. We are the ones that make a mess out of our lives and we should never be angry at God for our own bad decisions.....or another person's bad decisions. Some of you will learn to move on in your lives without your first love, but trust God to have, waiting for you,.......whatever it is that will make you happy.