Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy For the Guy with Kids and a WW Twenty Two

Hey guys.

Today was the first day that I haven't gone in while the wife was there. Last Friday, only D11 was there and I had called her prior and told her that I wasn't going inside. She needed to just come out when I knocked. Tonight, when I was explaining that I was going to tell them goodbye outside, she said, " Your not coming inside again?" I'm pretty sure she saw me looking at sh*theads jacket last Thursday. A stupid camo jacket.

Mr deer hunter, you know.

She may ask. I can tell she realizes that I've pulled far away from her.

Yeah, I'm gonna have those unresolved issues too.

Valentines day? Oh hell no. It'll be worse.

That's our anniversary. And no, we didn't get married at the courthouse or as part of a group. We got married at a beautiful Japanese Sunken Gardens in San Antonio.

You are doing such a good job. I know you don't feel that way, but really you are. She is so used to you doing everything for her, checking her car, taking the trash, bringing the girls home. Ok so you still brought the girls home but everything else sounded good...even the tears. You have to let it out sometime.

Hang in there hon. Wish I had something snarky to say to cheer you up, where is that Sugar when you need her? lol

kat

Just got a call from the wife's ex. Apparantly, they just spoke and it got to the point where he hung up on her. Now, those two will never have any kind of a R. Not without me in the middle. He tells me she called S14 on his phone and S14 asked her if he could just spend the night and that he was thinking of spending the week with his dad. She then went off that he was not going to do that, that he was going back to her apartment tonight. Then the ex got on the phone and she told him that S14 could be with him on Christmas Eve and back at the apartment on Christmas day. He could be with him on New Years if he wanted. The ex said that he was glad she was talking like that, because now he had witnesses to how she talks with S14 and his other older daughter there.

They were having some drama. I tell him that I haven't really spoken to her in about two weeks. That I had been trying still, like a stupid, but that I was pretty much done now. Told him how she wants the best of two worlds and that I'm not letting her anymore. He apologized to me for calling and told me that he wasn't sure how we were. He did thank me for letting him vent.

We talked about a few things. I did tell him that she is probably p*ssed about not getting any money from him. He understood and told me that he just started working again and that she is in for a big surprise about S14. Sounded like the ex is going to get his own apartment and he does plan to have S14 live with him still. He explained that he was stunned at how she was dictating to him. I asked when was the last time he talked to her.

He said maybe before school started. Yeah, real communicators, those two. I told him good luck, but I'm not involved anymore. I did ask what he was going to do. I also asked what he wanted as far as Christmas was concerned. He told me he wanted Christmas day. I told him I was getting the girls on Christmas eve, which is why she was telling him what she did. I also told him that I had asked S14 to ask him his plans for Christmas, so that I might get to see him too, but that I wanted him to make arrangements with his mom and dad first and if I could have a little time, then I was ok with that.

He thanked me for being a great dad for his son. That he tells everyone how lucky he was that I was S14's everyday dad. That he didn't mean to try to involve me tonight and that he explained to S14 that even though I was the third party, that I should get to spend some time with him, too. I asked him what he was going to do tonight about S14 and he said that he will take him home tonight after a movie was over. That he knew that she was going to get on S14's case about what happened tonight and that that wasn't fair. He said that he understood that I had enough crap on my plate without having deal with their crap and that I had two beautiful girls that I had to take care of.

He said that it sounded like he was going to be getting his attorney involved, because S14 was going to live with him, that he plans on getting child support from her, and that now SHE was going to only see him everyother weekend like he has for the last 14 years and that what goes around comes around. I told him good luck because he was right, I don't plan on getting involved anymore. He understood.

Sounds like things will be getting interesting soon on the other end.

Kat, I'm better now. After I posted earlier, I watched a little "Three Amigo's", some football, had some leftovers for dinner and fell asleep for about 20 minutes.

I think I needed a nap.

You might want to EXPECT that, H4H, and plan for how you're going to respond. Doesn't she have a history of this? It's certainly classic DBing/waywardism.

Puppy

Good morning, pup.

I'm sticking with my,

"It's just for the better. If I don't go in, then I don't have to see sancho's stuff that he purposely leaves out for the kids to see and I don't have to hear you purposely take his phone calls in front of me."

I am conflicted about Christmas. I plan on asking her to come pick up the girls. Debating on getting her a gift. Also debating on emailing her and asking her what it is that SHE wants to do for Christmas and then ask why. Debating on inviting her to come very early on Christmas morning so she can be there when they wake up and see what Santa brought.

Conflicted.

I'm not pup but, I would say no to the gift, no to the email, and no to the morning invite. Consequences and all that. Karen

I AM Pup, and I'm with Karen.

Just make sure the kids honor their mother with gifts, cards, and love and respect. You might get her a "Shoebox"-type funny card, or a small practical gift (something for her job or something).

This is not the type for asking her opinions about things. Be LEADING, but respectful about notifying her. "I wanted to let you know that I was going to doing thus-and-such, and me and the kids will be doing this-and-that, for which you're certainly welcome to join us if you'd like. Thanks."

That sorta thing.

Puppy

On the way to take the girls to the apartment last night, I asked D11 if mom had gotten them any Krispy Kreme donuts recently. She said no, but that she wants some.

I wonder if she got that stupid coupon that I left on her window? I thought about asking her or emailing her about it. Like calling her on it.

I watched a rerun of "King of Queens" last night. That and "Everyone Loves Raymond" are two of my favs. I think everyone can see similarities on those shows in their own lives. I know I do.

That, and I'm built like Kevin James.

The show was about how his friend Deacon, who at this point had been separated from his wife for two years, met a woman who was a stewardess that was leaving the country for good the next day and was planning on an evening together on Saturday.

Problem is that Kevin James' character and his wife find out that his wife was going to ask to reconcile on that Sunday.

James character keeps wanting to let his friend know about the reconciliation, but then wants his friend to have this evening because he believes that he deserves it after two years of hell.

It was so funny.

Also made me thing about how long some separations last. I had heard from a legal assistant that helped me with my first marriage that on average, separations can last five years!

I'm not sure of how accurate she was, but still.

I've been separated for 4 months and I'm tripping.
I think I should be allowed time served for puting up with her sh*t for the year prior to her leaving.

Hey, I missed ya'lls posts.

I hear ya'. I plan on keeping things the way I've planned so far. I will let her know what I'm doing and invite her to join in if she chooses on Christmas day.

Thanks.