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Bet he ends up sleeping on the couch when/if he ends up with OW.

That would be poetic justice, eh?

I am actually a little surprised they're still together--they've been together longer than they were the first time around.

oh, and as a reminder: their first relationship ended shortly after he left the seminary and his dream of being a priest to be with her. I wonder if this one will end once the divorce is final and he has left his family for her? Seems to be a bit of a pattern; perhaps she finds her self-worth in how much her lovers are willing to sacrifice for her. Just a thought.

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Hmmmm.... that IS interesting!

Oh my dear Hoozh, I had no idea you had such a horrible day yesterday, and here you were SUCH a big help and support to me and T last nite! I feel like a cad.

I get really, really sad for your D and angry with the A-hole Witch-humper. I honestly don't know what else to say.

Adviceless & Opinion-less (for once),

P

Oh, no Pup--the convo was on Saturday, Max was on Sunday. The past few days have been back in the routine--which I greatly needed. I'm doing so much better being back at work (weird, isn't it?) And y'all gave me such entertainment and interaction last night! Don't feel like a cad at all--you're a significant source of support (and now, hope!) to me.

I love this-- While I was spewing at him on Saturday (no, I don't do this often, and haven't since probably July) I did ask him if he expected Wicca Woman to stand at his side once he was ordained an Episcopal priest.

I do seriously worry about D. This is such a critical time in her emotional development relationally, and we all know that girls who feel lacking in their relationships with their dads tend to compensate in their future romantic relationships, and don't choose wisely. He is in such denial and self-justification that he blows that off, but he's the only one who can "fix" it. She is SO good at expressing her feelings (comes from having 2 parents in our particular helping professions, I think) and so intuitive--as well as being so easy to please. It really isn't hard. But all he sees is that I "poisoned" her against him and brainwashed her into thinking that he left us for OW. Ummmm--that's pretty much the truth. And I didn't tell her that; I didn't have to, she figured it out herself.

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Hooz,
I am so terribly sorry to hear about your dog. I know how heartbreakingly hard it is to lose our beloved pets.


Not being a parent, I am always very hesitant to give parenting advice, but I do want to mention that although I know worry is part of a mom's job description, your H is the only one who can "fix" this, as you have pointed out. Therefore, it is outside your circle of influence. So although I know it is impossible to stop worrying, perhaps you can keep reminding yourself that since this is NOT under your control anyway, you need to do what you can to protect/prepare your D, and then hand it over to God. I hope that helps.

Take care of yourself. Thinking of and praying for you.

Peace and blessings,
Dawn

Thank you, Dawn. I appreciate it. D12 informs me that D has been "better" when she's there about the phone calls, so maybe a grain of what I said sunk in.

Believe me, I have put this in God's hands. Several times. Guess I keep taking it back! I've also asked for a clear sign to tell me how to proceed--to continue to stand or to move on to acceptance. Because I can't seem to get off this fence and I need to. Every now and then I see glimpses of the "old" H--with Max's situation for example--and am reminded that he may really be in there somewhere in spite of the alien who has been taking over. No, it was never ideal; yes, there are significant issues. I would just have liked an opportunity to see if we could work them out before throwing in the towel. It wouldn't be easy and it wouldn't be fun, but the effects of this split are far broader and deeper than I ever realized. To the alien H, it's worth it to be free of me. But to the "real" H, who seemed serious about his vows and commitments, the long-term effects may be more obvious.

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