Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Midwestern Girl 12/27/2008

H is here.

He did not come over yesterday due to stomach problems.

He is very supportive of my online ventures and is encouraging me to do all I can and to enjoy it at the same time.

He is dealing with S18 right now--thank goodness.

H is coming over again tomorrow and said he would attempt to put in new spark plugs in the car. He knows it is a pain in this car but says he will attempt it.

Seems as if we are seeing more and more of him these days.

I was so surprised at how supportive he is of me and what I am doing. He thinks it is great what I am doing, esp. since I like it.

I asked him if he has written to his father and he said not yet. He asked if I had a stamp and an envelope as that would give him the motivation to do it and I said I did but I forgot to give it to him.

That is all for today.

Not sure why you are surprised MWG, after all you are relieving him of some of the financial burden that you are currently undergoing.He has to be very grateful for that as it removes some of the burden and responsibily from him.Especially as he is not inclined to actually get a job himself. Maybe he thinks he can be a house husband whilst you support you all.
Be nice if you could especially as you enjoy it so much.
Glad things are going wel and hope he manages to fix the spark plugs.

Actually, it is not relieving ANY financial burden from him as it is just enough for ME to get by right now. I am still building this up and it takes $$ to make $$ so it is not something right now that I can say will make the house payments, etc.

I do not believe he sees it this way at all.

I think your husband is very impressed with what you have accomplished in your new venture, and that you've been able to get work outside the home. And he should be.

I also agree with naej.

What you are able to earn may only be covering some of your own expenses, but those are now expenses that your H does not have to be responsible for. That may not seem like much to you, but I'm sure it's a relief to him.

And I don't know that this is a 100% bad thing.

Whether they would admit it or not, I think alot of our Hs egoes are tied to their work, and how well they can support their families and homes. Your Hs ego has been bruised considerably. As much as he may appreciate you working now to cover some of the expenses, it also has to be a setback to his own sense of self and how he's been living his life.

He more than likely is looking at you differently now, looking at OW differently...and certainly looking at himself differently than he did the past year.

He may not be liking what he sees...the fantasy he had in his head of what his life 'should' be, and his life 'would' be...you know, all of those fantasies they have when they decide to try the grass on the other side of the fence.

I'm positive he is very pleased and proud of what you've accomplished. I'm also sure he's feeling relief that more responsibility has been taken off his shoulder. I just hope this less stress allows him to really meditate on what he wants for himself and his family and home.

I pray he makes ammends with his father soon. As so many of us have found out, life is short...and so many things can be left unsaid, only because we hesitated in taking the first step. Only to have time run out by God calling someone home unexpectantly.

I just want to reiterate that what I pay for, H never was responsible or paid for. As a result, it does not make a dent in his responsibilities.

Hi Happy NEW YEAR....I just have a couple of questions for you if you dont mind....when you first started standing for your marriage did you ever feel like your miracle was just around the corner if not when did..

If ever get that to kind of feeling...and the next question I remember you said that your husband knows the bible inside out....when he went into MLC where you guys going to church....praying...making God first? just wondering how something like this can happen to a family like yours... not that it cant happen obviously it can but just wondering.It's cold down here in North Texas high of only 36 bbbrrrr!!!

I did not know about standing or about the charlyne cares until about a year after I found out about the A.

It took me two years to get to the point of allowing God to totally take control even though every now and then I do stumble.

I never felt like a miracle was around the corner at all until very recently.

Were we going to church? The kids and I were but not h. He attended seminary in the late 70's but was turned off by many things about it such as the school that sort of thing.

He does know his Bible inside and out.

This can happen to anyone, really. It does not matter what your background/standards/beliefs are, it happens a lot more than one realizes.

Thanks for responding MWG....I was just sitting here at work reading posts....was just curious....I guess I better get back to work I wish they would send us home early since there is an ice storm watch....

Be Blessed In Jesus Name