Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Now She's Confused.

Jeff,
Relax and take things as they come in a very slow fashion. Your patience will be tried many times in the days, weeks, etc. ahead. Just remember, she's very fragile and is like a fine piece of china. Listen, validate and be there as a friend, with no expectations.

This is the hardest part of reconciling. Patience!

I'm very happy that the new year is starting off on a very good footing for you. Enjoy your ski trip.

Hey Snodderly,

You are right the patience thing is tough, I gotta do what I gotta do! I will try not to take the ups and downs personally. Her friends leave in the morning so we shall see what happens.

She mentioned earlier that she would like help taking down the Christmas tree. So while she was out I took it down myself and vacuumed and clean the house. I thought she has been busy with her friends so I thought I would surprise her. I am trying to pay attention to the things she says. She just went out for dinner with her friends and texted me "the house looks amazing".

I am trying to do the little things that make her happy, to show her that I can take care of her. I was supposed to go out for dinner with them but my wife wanted to go out with just the girls. She asked if it was ok I said of course have fun! She seemed to appreciate that.

So day by day I am trying to be the strong man I once was and being consistent seems to be working.

Cheers,
Jeff

Do have a thread other than the holiday one?

Jeff,
I'm glad to see all of the positives are taking place. Patience and validation appear to be working for you. Keep up the good work!

No, I no longer have thread here. My journey ended a long, long time ago. I continue to post to help others so that they do not make the mistakes that I did.

Take care and enjoy your weekend.

Thanks again your input has been very helpful!

Awesome, and you SHOWED her by taking action. Keep up the good work.

Keep staying strong my brother!

Hey,

I hope you have a great time today. Relax and enjoy yourself.

Thanks, T

A little hitch the skiing for this weekend is off. She spoke with the couple she was going with and I guess her friends husband was inviting some of his friends, she said the car was full but I think she may just want to hang with her girlfriend. I don't know her friends husband. If it was just her friend and her friends husband it would be ok. So she said we could go together next weekend. I was a little dissapointed but didn't tell her that.

I guess alot has happened in the passed week so she may also feel overwhelmed. I can't get too greedy.

I still feel knots in my stomach about the OM I am still insecure about whether she has ended it for good only time will tell. In the mean time I have to be the man that can take care of her.

I would love to just sit down with her and just talk for hours in person, not on the phone or by text. I still gotta remember Marathon!!!!

So much has happened but it's hard not to be skeptical about if the changes are real. Still being positive but it helps to articulate how I feel. I am scared because I was ready to move on and now I have to open up and I feel somewhat vunerable again.

I know it's a dance but boy it takes alot out of you especially when your'e and overthinker like me!!(LOL)

Looking forward to my session with my DB coach today at 2pm, I will post any tidbits of advice that she gives me.

ciao for now,

Jeff

That is great Jeff that you cleaned the house and took down the tree. You are listening. Keep doing what you are doing.

Don't worry about Sunday. It was probably too much too soon anyway. Remember one day at a time. No eager beaver here!

Don't worry about OM you are the better half.

Stay positive Jeff!

Jeff, your focus needs to be only in areas within your circle of influence. Directly within your ability to control. You have no control over that, you have no control over your W's feelings. Focus only on what you can control, your behavior, your actions, your listening.

Understand????

Ian

Ian,

Thanks I will do that! I just had a DB Coach session with Jody wow she was awesome. My wife has ADHD and Jody was able to explain behaviors and strategies etc. It was like she had been in our house. A lot of it had to do with what ADHD people need and my response to her every day actions. I wish I had hooked up with her sooner but anyway I will certainly be calling her again along with everyone here and Jody I feel I have a plan of action and am feeling very positive about the future in whatever form it takes.

Jeff