Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy 2008 = Crazy Year (Havin Fun @ 21?)

I tried... but she dragged the k's in. I talked very little and she spun it back on me. Stay tuned - will post more later... Nothing resolved...

{{{{LIS}}}} Hang in there my friend

Tawnya

Thanks (((Tawnya))). It is getting harder to hang on.

Here is what transpired.

* W calls k's in amd waits for me

* w asks what my proposal is

* I say I do not want to talk with k's here - they were devastated yesterday

* w says that the C said the k's shoul be be involved; says they eant to here

* I say no, they don't need to hear this; w disagrees (of course)

* I say that given the process (legal) you have started, I have been advised by L not to discuss this; my response will be filed soon

* w says nothing is started legally (huh?) And she can stop it anytime- so what is my proposal?

* back and forth - I say nothing other than I cannot answer

* W says "see k's, on dad's schedule. Making you suffer more. If you were his prime concern this would be over by now. Lost, kids have made it quite clear they do not want to live like this anymore. Why do you want to be married?"

* W blamed me for all of this. I say it is her decision her consequences. She can leave if she wants to. She asks k's if that is what they want. PUT THEM RiGHT IN THE FRICKIN MIDDLE AGAIN. I did ask her to stop saying it was abusive to k's. W said again I haven't agreed with this cuz I don't believe in d or want a D - so I said why should I bend over backwards because you want this to happen.

* W is certainly deflecting guilt here.

More of the same continued. W said there is no way I could have k's best interests at heart. I challenged that, but was composed in front of k's.

W said I backer her into a corner by not meeting her half way so she had to go legal. I said now that you have started it is with the L. W talked about co-parenting, etc etc.

You get the drift. I remained relatively calm and didn't take a lot of crap - sttod up to her garbage defending myself in front of k's.

I am taking k's for supper tomorrow - we will chat... Need to make sure truth is there.

:sad:

I am sorry, bud. I can't believe she keeps bringing the kids into it.

This is now between you and her and the L's.

So sorry.

Geez {{{LIS}}} that stuff with the kids is just beyond low..I just can't even FATHOM that she is saying this stuff..I say next time get a tape recorder so someone can hear her saying this stuff..that is so total guilt tripping crap that it is sad, and dang bringing the kids into the middle of that..BLAAAHHHH..makes me wanna pop her myself

Tawnya

[quote=lost_in_space]Thanks (((Tawnya))). I think you did well by what you were saying, but I think your W is being abusive to both you and your kids by having them participate in this kind of horrorfest. I don't believe any C would recommend a child to hear those kind of abusive comments about a parent by another parent. No decent therapist would condone that. If she or the kids are seeing a therapist it sounds like you should be involved with that process to let the therapist know what kind of discussions are going on in front of the kids. I am very skeptical that a therapist would agree to that kind of verbal abuse in front of the children.

You made your boundaries clear that you did not feel it was appropriate to discuss in front of the children. I think when she pushed your boundaries, basically steamrollered over your boundaries I think & was verbally abusive also either would have been enough for you to say this needs to be a private conversation. I will not hold this in front of the kids. or I will not listen to this kind of verbal abuse in front of the kids. If she continues, which I'm sure she would, then I think you should leave the situation. Not allowing her to act like this and say stuff like that in front of the kids. She is hurting the kids and you shouldn't let her do that I don't think. Karen

I agree that you should tape these conversations. And unfortunately they most likely will happen again. What does your lawyer say about what your wife is doing by dragging the kids into these types of situations?? It could have a impact on custody.

H4H, thanks bud. I cannot help W but I need to protect k's better.

(((Tawnya)))
I had my digital recorder in by briefcase, but batteries dead. Gotta get that fixed.

(((Karen)))
You are right - should have walked. I was going to! But I thought I should defend myself in front of k's. Next time (and I believe there will be a next time) I will walk out.

My poor kids...

Forgot one thing.

I was called a bully (in front of k's). Why? Because I wouldn't agree to D and left W no choice, therefore I was bullying.

WTF???????????

{{{{{LIS}}}}}}}} You know it's all a bunch of crap..so just remember who YOU are, KNOW who you are, know who is standing on this side of right and who isn't and just know that all that you are doing will turn out right in the end..it just absolutely has to doesn't it?!

Tawnya