Well she called back and told me she got her own cell phone. She even gave me her new cell number. She then asked if I wanted to do lunch this weekend. Every time she does this " we should get lunch and talk" thing, she always turns it into a “how do you see us?" talk despite me trying to keep all meetings light. I dread these talks because she just uses them to tell me she doesn’t feel the same way, so we should get a D. Every time i tell her I'm not giving up, and i am making the best of this time apart to work on myself. I also tell her I will not stand in her way, but if she does not want our marriage to work, she will have to do the work to get the papers started, as I still see a M here. I think I will tell her something new this time if it does indeed turn out to be this talk again. I will tell her that she is RIGHT and we WONT make it if she doesn’t want it to. I can’t to this alone and wont always bee here.
Its funny how when I do try to detach, she plays the “ what’s wrong ?” card on me. If I tell her nothings wrong she tells me I’m acting weird because I’m not saying the usual, “hey pretty lady how are you” stuff. I will try to explain I’m fine, but she will then say how this is a reason not to be together because I am acting distant!!! Damned if you do and damned if you don’t but I will stick to my guns this time and continue my detachment. If she doesn’t like it maybe she should stop asking what’s wrong and start taking action if she wants me to act closer! I am also going to give her a day before I return her call. Its been my proactive practice to try to be as accommodating as possible for her… yet here I am 12 months later and nothing to she for it but the memories of my wife loosing there power and my heart getting numb to her.
Called her back and made a decision to tell her i can’t get together until next week. Told her I was booked solid but was off Thursday-Sat. her birthday is next week as well. I am hoping that by not running to her this time when she offers me a bone it might change a dynamic. I whish something would change. Just feeling sad today. Watched that new movie about the mouse Despero. In the movie there’s a line that’s says something like “Remember when I said grief was the strongest emotion. I was wrong it’s forgiveness.” Nothing like tearing up at a kids movie to ruin a day.
I'm glad your throwing a curve to her. She notices...trust me.
I'm feeling sad with you. Thanks for the advice on my thread. You know I look for you for the "cop's perspective".
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
