I'm glad I'm caught up and I have to agree that is wonderful news. I also completely agree w/ Purr that you are fighting for him by doing what you are doing. Don't stop or change.
Purr said his actions are "validating" the changes you've made for yourself, so keep them going. It has been said many, many times on several different posts that the one left behind has to move forward w/their life and work on changes that make themselves better. By doing this, you become stronger and healthier and if the one who left notices and wants to be a part of it, they'll catch up.
Your BF is noticing and is thinking of "catching up" so why in the world would you want to stop now? Keep moving in the same direction. It is working. You have caught his attention and he sees how "healthy" you are.
Good work. Keep it going (you may also want to call and talk w/Jody about this one too).
Hey everyone.. not much time to post, will catch up with you all tommorow..but thanks. Strangely, I feel deflated by the BIG NEWS. Its the biggest yet. In October I found out from BMF here (who I am out with tonight and his gf Cher), that my ex talked about me all the time and that he loved me to bits and had a connection with me he didnt want to lose. In March, his BMF W J told me (it was J who told me this latest) that he had said he wasnt sure he had made the right decision.. but to now hear after a year apart that he is confused and doesnt know what to do and he cant believe how well we get on (DURR!!)...
You know how its made me feel? Like I am not 'good' enough. Like he has been circling noticing how I am, yet spent a year thinking...what?.."Nahhhh...no thanks". That may be daft, but I feel kind of inadequate, like I dont measure up, or I still need to prove something to him, and why? WHY DOESNT HE JUST TALK TO ME !?? I am sick of the rejection, of not feeling worthy, of him holding himself well away from me, yet talking to all of our friends. Its not fair! And still NC from him.. thats a SECOND NYEve.
Still, if he turned up tommorow with apologies, I wouldnt turn him away!
In other news.. his skiing holiday, was in his words, A DISASTER! Ha!!!! Ooops. More later. Kelaroon.. nice to see you back! And Happy New Year to everyone else posting. Love Al x
YOU are not inadequate! HE IS! He knows it and that's why he's staying away from you. Honestly Al, he is one messed up individual and would not be good for you right now. You have changed and grown so much in this last year, at his own admission, and he doesn't see how he could fit into your world now the way he is. That's what Gabe told me too, I have all these new friends around me and he "wouldn't fit in to my new way of living". Lame excuse, but that's what he was feeling. I have a feeling BF is the same way.
Have a marvelous time out tonight and DON'T let thoughts of him take you down. No looking back allowed, only forward to new things to come.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
There has to be some way to get you to stop blaming yourself or feeling inadequate. That is complete rubbish. It seems as if you are reading the tea leaves incorrectly. He is the one who feels unworthy to be w/you b/c he sees your changes and how healthy you look and act now.
You've got to keep doing what you've been doing if you want a chance to get him back. Reverting into old habits and thoughts may get him back for a short run, but ultimately, he'll leave again b/c nothing would have changed to force him to reexamine himself for the better.
Stay on target w/what you are doing. Don't jump the gun now. Your efforts are working and working well. Now is the time to be disciplined and resist the temptations to deviate from working on you and living for you.
Your goal was to get him to notice, and he's noticing. Don't stop now. Instead, now is the time to keep going stronger in your current direction.
Have a blast tonight and just allow yourself to live in the moment w/out thoughts or worries of BF. If he's going to be on your mind, you might as well stay home b/c you won't let loose and enjoy yourself.
But staying in isn't living and you'd be defeating your purpose and moving in reverse.
Be strong, have fun tonight, and keep on going. Your progress is very, very clear to all of us here as well as to BF. Keep him noticing, keep him wondering, and keep him interested in you.
