Yes, its very sad. He had a daughter that's a junior at Notre Dame, a son from a previous marriage and a disabled brother that he had to put in a home after he had his stroke. This guy took care of his brother and paid for his care. His wife just died a few years ago and now the daughter is alone. I was out at lunch and cried all the way back to work thinking of him asking why he had to be so stubborn and shovel this heavy snow by himself!
On another note, I went to IC last night and then afterwards took D to an AWESOME restaurant so I could privately celebrate getting a WONDERFUL Christmas bonus from work! This money will help SOOOO much. I couldn't tell D though, since she'd want to go to Toys R Us with the check. LOL! Anyway, I told IC about the past weekend and she feels that H spews his anger at me because he knows I love him, she said he feels safe with me and does love me. She said he really seems to be losing it and we need to step back for a bit to let him lose it on his own, but be there to LISTEN to him when needed. She said this is NOTHING because of me. It's not my fault, he's expressing the feelings he has about himself and alot of it is guilt. He thought his life would be better without me and his guilt and things he's done has made it worse. Make sense? I was crying but it was tears of feeling badly for H.
I hope my typing makes sense. I'm trying to type it all fast before a boss comes by.
You may have options including the following: a court order or agreement specifying that the pick-up and drop-off of children will take place in a public place. Also, you may need a restraining order at some point in time. In addition to the police report, I suggest that you take good notes of any times that you or your D feel threatened. I hope you don't need that kind of evidence, but it is better to be prepared.
Protecting yourself and your D will not hinder reconciliation; it could only ensure a recon that is based on appropriate behaviour. I'm sure you wouldn't want anything else. The effects on children of witnessing these kinds of incidents can be devastating and long-lasting.
Well, the Social Worker at school just called me. D told him about the sitch at home this weekend and he wanted to see what happened and how things were handled. I told him and he was fine with it all. I also told him that I really didn't want the school involved with that sitch because I'm a good mom and don't want D taken from me. He agreed and said the school wasn't involved, it just came up in D's meeting with him and he's calling to make sure all is okay. He was asking me if H drinks, is abusive and what days/times he sees D. He also said H could call him and he'd be happy to talk to him about it too.
((((Dar)))) I wanted to come and give you a hug and I will catch up soon. Love you, Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Hi all, pretty boring around here lately. So I guess that's good. I'm scrambling at work to get 5 days done in 2. Not too motivated to scramble today though. H was a no call-no show this weekend. Funny that he pulled that after his insistance last weekend. Whatever dude. He made it to my bank today and put in money to pay my cousin though. She's watching D today and tomorrow, so at least he's being thoughtful that way.
So I get home last night and D and I got cards in the mail from MIL (not his step mom that we rent from, but his actual mom). She put a $50 check in each card, and also wrote on mine that she misses me and D and hopes we can get together after the new year. This is the lady that told me in Jan 07 that H is her son and no matter what he does, or how wrong it is, she will stand by him. Anyway, we ran some errands and came home and called her. She talked to D first and then me. She asked me how H is, if he’s paying child support. I was honest with her and told her he’s very up and down. I said a few months ago he wanted to go to MC and now he’s back to being very angry. She asked if he calls and I told her no, not really and he doesn’t really answer my calls. Then she said “well, he should be able to talk to you on his cell without worrying about her interfering.” I said “who, ow?” and she said yes. I then asked if she met her and she said she did. She said ow and H drove out to her house a couple months ago. She said they seem nice to each other but thinks he jumped into something too soon. Um, ya think?!?! He’s still married! I didn’t cry at all but it was hard. I cried like crazy after the call though. I text H and told him we needed to talk immediately since I just got off the phone with his mom. He called and was FUMED and STILL denied it. He’s even denying it today still. I asked him what he wants….if he wants this marriage or a divorce. He said he wants us to get along, talk nicely and see. That didn’t tell me what he wants though. That could mean he wants to rebuild with me, or he wants a civil divorce. I’m sooooooo completely sad and sooooooooooo tired of being hurt!!!!
Any advice?
PS, this may look familiar to someone here since I emailed it to you earlier.
I was reading your thread GG and I just didn't know what to say. You seem to be getting advice from others that seems good, but we all need to do what we feel is best in our own situations. I too am at the end of my rope, very sad about this, and hate this feeling when I'm trying to enjoy Christmas with D and make her happy.
Keep me posted on your sitch though and I hope things turn around soon for you!
