BG - don't take on the guilt...it will do you no good. I have been watching how strong you have been during this. I understand about backsliding, but CATCH YOURSELF or you will only go deeper. Your H needs to take this matter to court - NOW. Why is he even allowing OW to dictate when and/if he gets to see his son. If he chooses NOT to take legal action - that is NOT your fault - don't take on his fight. Don't TELL him what he needs to do....YOU stand there with love in you heart and support his decisions. You SHOW him that you are with him... let him handle his crap. This is his fight, not yours. You have nothing to feel guilty for and you owe OW ABSOLUTELY NOT A THING.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
as i just told smw on the phone, i am really and seriously tired, i dont have the energy to even deal with my M right now let alone her. tired, that isnt a pity party, i saw i fought and hey, i didnt conquer. i dont have the energy for this anymore. THAT is weird for me and makes me feel like a quitter, but maybe its the truth, it is the truth, his little boy is important, he needs to be saved from her physco Arse. that is more important right now.
oh he is gonna tell D16 tonite, (altho she knows, he doesnt know that) should be interesting!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Of course you are tired honey, look what the last couple of weeks has dealt you. But you wgot wonderful advice from the others above, I can add nothing. Except try to rest and relax, and don't add beer to the Xanax
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
the guilt is there as much as the fact i am tired. til he wants to take his own balls, thats my life. i am too tired to wait at this second.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
BG- I am thinking about you! Take care of yourself. Weather is awful here, couple vehicles in the ditch between work and town. YUCK!!! Work on the tree tonight, with all of us!!! Stay warm.
Of course you are tired honey, look what the last couple of weeks has dealt you. But you wgot wonderful advice from the others above, I can add nothing. Except try to rest and relax, and don't add beer to the Xanax
yeah ..go w/ something stronger then the cerveza ... haha
Ok number 4 chiming in. BG I have listened to you and I have read your post and I have read the others advice. I told you go to Walgreens and get the mail off DNA test. I almost fell on the floor the other day when I saw that, like I was meant to know it existed. Get it. Then read the directions and see how much the lab part costs. Then approach H with it. Openly. He can get what is needed from S although OW will probably balk since she will probaby know why he wants it. If you and he are going to have any sort of M, he needs to have the legal footing and backing of the court for visitation. Otherwise, she will continue to put H through this until you feel so guilty that you let him go, set him free, whatever you want to call it. Then she won and that is what she is counting on. But if you don't do it this way, eventually, no matter what he says now, he will hold it against you and then there will be resentments on both sides. Not a recipie for a good M.
No you did NOT create this situation. But if you are choosing to live with it, you have to take the necessary steps. To save BG. Not for H or OW or even the child. However, I can't believe I'm saying this, H is doing nothing wrong either right now that we know of. He is trying to be dad and husband. The other night he didn't go running to OW, he was on your property. He has chosen you for now, but if she keeps playing this game, he will eventually regret that choice if he wants to be the dad he seems to want to be. He has not chosen her. This is no longer a choice between you and her (although he probably is stupid enough to get sucked in again). This is a choice between you and his child. Not a choice that you created but a choice none the less.
I will tell you it is ok to take a time out. I have been saying that for a while to you now, but more crap keeps coming along. You need a time out from saving this M and save BG for a little while. Get strong. Then decide what you want to do about M.
You are trying to do it all at once and that isn't going to work for long and may land you in the hospital or worse. Breathe BG. Change your strategy.
Last edited by kelaaron; 12/09/0811:12 PM.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
