Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives untying a few knots #9

ok carpenter gotcha! thank you!! actually its great advice.
JWM yes its alot, so much since last tuesday, i finally quit after last nite pinching myself to make sure this wasnt a dream sigh.
thanks Kel. I cant wait to hear what you think. the boundaries are ok, need a real plan for it tho if i can make this work.

this morning at church, great again, about sin, giving into tempation, straight from adam and eve. more than that ofcourse. but I had already had it arranged, to go with her to the altar with some great people who have walked my walk, i think i realized sometime late last nite, that my inability to forgive the first 2 affairs, helped push him into the sitch we are now. we prayed, we cried, I begged for strength, his guidance, and forgiveness. H sat where we had sat, I cant imagine it was fun for him to watch. but this afternoon, as i want to finish my love dare book, working on a dare,(dont know WHEN he will get it, but doing one i hadnt) writing him a letter, before i got to the love dare part, I had wrote 3 pages front and back, about this ordeal, and i didnt cry, didnt feel the urge, THAT is weird. or maybe i am forgiving a little, idk, its just a weird feeling. I even reread the 3 emails he had sent and didnt cry with those.
I dont know WHAT is going to happen with my marriage. but one thing I have taken out of the emails that he sent on my last post, which i dont know how to get here to ya'll, is the changes he had seen in my, that made him fall back in love, and feel the need to come clean. that is from what i have been doing with the dbing, the love dare, and god, and you all here. HE did notice, and thats what makes him want to work us out if I can. we shall see if his words hold true, i aint that stupid to not fall into what they will do or say right after they bomb us, BUT the examples of things he told me last nite when i asked why, WERE from god, and the dbing.
love you all

Well this is all amazing.

Thinking of you. You are an amazing woman.

I am not amazing, i am exhausted lol. if I can try to make this work, it will only be after i set boundaries, and he agrees to do them.
i am so tired of drama, seriously for real, in my life.

Hey BG- I think you are doing great. You are dealing with this all very well considering! Hey great game, Chiefs won!!!

{{{BG}}} Wow..thank you for taking the time to come ask how I"m DOING..geez LOL..you are doing amazingly well!!

My only thoughts to you about what to do are what carp said, but, taking everything in, especially on lack of sleep and major stress overload..you definitely need to give yourself a MINIMUM of 48 hours to deal with this all..think about it: Just last week you went thru your chemo, had Thanksgiving to cook for and deal with, and the "normal ordeals" with this OW...before we even GOT to the part of the "bomb drop of the century" for you..so, all in all, I don't think anyone would expect you to be making ANY serious decisions right now, except for taking care of yourself my friend..get some sleep, take a luxurious bath, get a massage..something!

I have to say that I'm happy that your db'ing and love daring made such an impact, I thought that too when I read how he said he fell back in love with you the past few months..

Hugs!

Tawnya

hey tomato good to see you! mt the game rocked! tawnya, thank you too my friend, and yes i want to know how you are silly girl! tuesday seems like forever ago. its weird, the pain still here, tonite when at his moms, my bil told me that H told him yesterday. wow. he is gonna call me tomorrow to talk to me about it, he gave me a cold beer a big hug and sad least i know why you were so sad thanksgiving.
i dont know what or where my life is gonna be or road it will take, I cant see the future, but we prayed for god to take my load today, me and the women at church, and amazingly, H and i have not fought or had a harsh word, and actually had some normal talk about the boy.
I did forget to tell ya'll that when we went to go to my familys thanksgiving today, with all the stress, i forgot it wasnt at my moms, so we get there, duh no one there, he gives me his phone, to call my moms cell, to make sure which siblings house it was at. and while dialing a missed call alert came up. ow called twice yesterday. either he ignored them on purpose, or we were doing other things and missed them, idk which, i know she didnt leave a message, and she had taken her boys to OK to her parents. when i popped up, i calmly said, you might need to make sure this wasnt important, he said, no messages, its not. we shall see.
i am praying for us all tonite. i love ya'll so much!

Bg--I sent you a message for k. There's not much I can offer to stop the hurt, just know I am praying for you and H!

Morning BG and all,

Smile. It is December 1. Christmas is 24 days away.

I hope everyone had a good night. I'll call later BG. Still thinking about it had a long night myself. But good.

{{BG}} I hope the load is off your shoulders and that you got a good night's sleep my friend!

Wow Kel..isn't it crazy to think December 1st..wowza, time flies!

Tawnya

oh kel shhhhhhhhh lol, dont tell me dates in dec. not ready for tomorrow or thursday, or the second sunday of this month, and sure not ready for xmas!

it snowed last nite, not much stayed but it was really pretty. Its cold right now, like 26 ick!

well today, they are there, I am here, my first real day away from him since the baby bomb.