Lemon Drop, of course. I'm waiting for snow. There's something so calm and peaceful, watching each beautiful flake take its place in the choir. I do my best praying in the snow (and not because I stink at skiing!) Jeff, you are a wonderful man. You already know that. For whatever reason, there is conflict between you and W right now. Maybe it can be resolved, maybe not. Either way, it's going to be okay. Superheroes may get knocked down, but they always get up again. love, Goldey
You've gotten the ball rolling....now just let things settle for a while. The holidays are stressful anyway, so I don't think you need to fan the flames just yet. Get through Christmas...be the pleasant, charming man we all know. Don't initiate any R talks...just be you! Let her see the changes in you....not just the room....but in you!
Hugs!
BA
Me:43 H:48 M:24 yrs T: 26 yrs 2 kids ILYNILWYA 8-07 - MOW 9-07 H moved out 8-2-08 Back 8-18-08 Affair continues Back home but not emotionally
Hey Jeff.. wow, so she was spooked by a magneric curtain rod!? Funny, she must wonder what you will do next! Move those doors maybe from under the bed.. but then you did say it was a long story.
Can I have a glass of red wine please? I have been drining it since 4pm so I am surprosed I can still type straight!
I agree that there is still movement to come.. the MC will be a massive step forward. I am intrigued in her suggestion as to getting an apartment in town.. seems suspicious timing she would bring this up (?).. do you see that as her creating an escape tunnel? (cue The Great Escape theme tune and German snipers)
Al xx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
((((((Michelle)))))) Hot cocoa for you! With marshmallows?
(((((goldey))))) Lemon drop it is! It's a good thing I'm not waiting for snow here! You are the superhero! Thanks for your support!
(((((BA))))) Two lemon drops! (I might wait on the second 'til after work!) Yes the ball is rolling. I don't plan to start any R talks, she does need to stew for a while. I just have to remember not to let this "go away" just because it isn't at the top of the list right now.
I'm still trying to keep up the changes in me. I didn't eat like a pig for Thanksgiving. More than usual, and some things that are not on the diet, but I didn't have seconds, and didn't stuff myself. That was different. And keeping the room clean will definitely be different. And putting up the curtains on the door was different. I don't think she likes them, but I think they make the room look better. She pointed out that they don't add a lot of privacy if there are lights on in the room at night, but that wasn't the point, anyway. I think there are a lot of "whys" going through her head. I can't even imagine the answers she might be coming up with.
She talked to S20 last night, I need to get some info from him. When she was talking about setting up two households she was talking about using him as a source for a VA loan. Not sure what the scheme was, and not sure what she told him. I don't think I want to get behind the information curve!
Wow, I'm speechless. You know why? (True confession time) Because last summer I actually considered renting an apartment in S18's name. Now I see what a selfish, co-dependent, and stupid idea that would have been, on every level. Not the action of a superhero. I'm going to give you a little whack here, Jeff. If I'm out of line, please forgive me. Why do you want to be married to W? When do you say enough is enough? (Those are rhetorical, you don't have to answer to anyone here). Peace. p.s. As long as you're handin' them out, I'll have another Lemon Drop, my friend.
As time goes on, I am having a harder time answering those questions.... seriously!
The answers that I come up with are not altogether satisfying.... for the kids, and because financially it won't be pretty are the biggest things, I think. And, I made a commitment. What is really hard to believe is that except with respect to me she is a very kind, and generous person. Kinda sucks!
Here's another Lemon Drop, and be ready if you need more!
It's hard for me to tell from your post what you thought about W's idea to tap your son for a VA loan. Please, please don't let your son agree to that!!!!
Also... it doesn't make sense that she doesn't want to get a new mattress until you get out of credit card debt, but she is OK with going deeper into debt in order to start her own household. ????
Like I've said, I think the mattress is an excuse, and the credit card debt is an excuse. They are not reasons!
I have to talk to S20, he wasn't home tonight. I need to figure out what she told him, and what she is up to. I haven't formed a real opinion on her plan, since I haven't figured out what it is! I know S would like to buy a house in town, near the college, so that might be part of the scheme. I just don't know!
Now I have to replace the curtains over the other window! They are ancient, don't really match, and the curtains shrank more than the lining when they were washed! I might have to hang up our German cuckoo clock in here, too, though it might be hard to sleep with that on!
but then you did say it was a long story.
! LOL!