Thanks...I think after warming up here, I'm now ready to spill my guts. And hopefully really start moving forward in a way that will most help my son. When he's the motivation..well, I find the will to go on. The last 3 1/2 years of my life have been extremely difficult, with the last being the toughest. And now that the cancer sitch is finally winding up...it's time to "start over" in this family.
Funny. While typing that post, H came home...we've all been blasted now for "not doing anything." The kids missed school because of power outages today. SO of course they were underfoot all day...only a day after having them for four days.
"Nothing's been done." Except I deep cleaned the whole kitchen, washed the walls, organized stuff...went to Target (with kids), grocery shopped.
But there was five minutes worth of clutter to pick up in the LR/DR...and I guess we should have cleaned the whole basement. Enough clutter to set him off,(folded socks, some catalogs, some dishes from late this afternoon) plus finding the kids watching tv.
He's gone to a wake now for one of our neighbors. I didn't go, which was fine with him. He's mad because we are unhappy now. HE'S NOT THE BAD GUY. He doesn't want to see our bad faces.
I stopped myself in the middle of defending what I had done today. He left. I hate him at times like this. He's not my f#*ing boss.
Don't expect to see me back here any time soon...I have demerits.
H came home...we've all been blasted now for "not doing anything." The kids missed school because of power outages today. SO of course they were underfoot all day...only a day after having them for four days.
"Nothing's been done." Except I deep cleaned the whole kitchen, washed the walls, organized stuff...went to Target (with kids), grocery shopped.
But there was five minutes worth of clutter to pick up in the LR/DR...and I guess we should have cleaned the whole basement. Enough clutter to set him off,(folded socks, some catalogs, some dishes from late this afternoon) plus finding the kids watching tv.
He's gone to a wake now for one of our neighbors. I didn't go, which was fine with him. He's mad because we are unhappy now. HE'S NOT THE BAD GUY. He doesn't want to see our bad faces.
I stopped myself in the middle of defending what I had done today. He left. I hate him at times like this. He's not my f#*ing boss.
Don't expect to see me back here any time soon...I have demerits.
I don't feel very much like Steve McQueen.
Maybe you're not Steve McQueen, but remember you are *The Queen* of your home. Now go get your tiara and lift your head high. His little tantrums are irrelevant.
He's got some big time de-merits. As you say, he is not your f'ing boss.
Maybe you're not Steve McQueen, but remember you are *The Queen* of your home. Now go get your tiara and lift your head high. His little tantrums are irrelevant.
He's got some big time de-merits. As you say, he is not your f'ing boss.
Thanks, and thanks to MC and Purple. I'm not MC Queen, I'm THE Queen. That's fun.
He came home 20 minutes later, contrite. I guess a wake will do that...the kids had picked up, and dinner was simmering, and I was folding some laundry, so he felt pretty foolish I think. He apologized a couple of times. We ate. I went out shopping for a little bit, just to get some hair stuff, etc. Went to World Market and milled around. Got home and they are all watching a movie (The Man in The Iron Mask)
I had a little time to think it over...he was driving home thinking about going to that wake. E-d-g-y. And his mouth and throat are hurting...of course he never renewed his pain killers because he's tough guy. Tonight he said that was a mistake. I guess he'll get some more tomorrow. Though I don't know if that's helping contribute to weirdness (percoset).
If anyone remembers the Xbox story that also happened right before we were to go to the circus with the whole clan. If anyone remembers the Easter sunday story...that was right before we had a big family event.
Patterns.
You know he said something interesting the other day...about how good he's been trying to be...and that he thinks he's done really well with the cancer treatment and handling it. Which is true. But it makes me think...how much is the guy working just to maintain all the time? I think he must be constantly "trying" to keep it together...so it's not surprising that he blows sometimes. Just thinking out loud.
While he was gone and I was cooling down I just kept thinking "big sky, big sky"...lol. It made me smile a bit.
And hopefully really start moving forward in a way that will most help my son. When he's the motivation..well, I find the will to go on. The last 3 1/2 years of my life have been extremely difficult, with the last being the toughest. And now that the cancer sitch is finally winding up...it's time to "start over" in this family.