Naej waving..... Jeff I know how to hog a quilt! or maybe that's to difficult to translate from the English expression. Hope you had a good a day as possible. ((()))
Well it seems like your letter definitely has shaken things up a bit!
I think that's good!
Keep the communication open.
She wants to have you be a stable and dependable force in her life, but she's taking you and all you bring to the R for granted. (It is easy to do, but hopefully she realizes it soon) So hopefully she will realize that she might actually have something to lose!
(((((((Jeff))))))))
I am feeling mostly better. Still sticking mostly to tea and hot cocoa though IRL. However, on here, I'm all for drinks!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
OK! Starting from the last posts on the last thread!
(((((Kalni))))) She said she didn't know what she wants. We talked about D, we talked bout not D. I wanted to make sure that she realized taht D IS on the table. Otherwise, I think it very unlikely that anything would change.
((((((Essie))))) I would prefer things to head in the direction of getting better. But, even more, I want things to head in some direction. I'm ready for either, if it comes to it, but not for anymore of what is happening now. A break sounds like a great idea. Don't know that it is going to be possible to pull off such a thing, though. I'm numbly detached! I don't know that I thanked her, but I did think it stayed quite civil. I think she feels that her security is threatened. She doesn't like that.
(((((Ali))))) Yep, division of labor. More on that later. As far as the C goes, I thought it might be handy for the C to get a view of me from other than me. But, I understand her view, too. I probably should have brought it up again, but, her tone was soooooo negative. I couldn't bring myself to put my hand in the flame again! More on MC later, too!
(((((Lisa, Kalni, naej))))) The rest of the European connection (sorry about that to the English ones, I know, some days you are not part of Europe!) I think we can serve drinks on this thread, even if it isn't the tradition in this forum!
naej, I feel really good that I have taken back a little bit of control of my own life. I need to be careful not to let it slip away.
(((((mishka))))) Yep, she doesn't have the M prioritized in the top 5, as far as I can tell. She really did complain about the timing, because of the class, and then really did say that she would have enjoyed it, but...
It has been her way or no way for a long time. She has a controlling nature, I think. I have no idea why she fell in love with me. Actually, I'm not 100% sure she ever did. It was convenient.
I don't know that I can say what I want things to look like in a year, but I know how I don't want them to look. Which is why the letter had to be written.
(((((Ali))))) A midnight express sounds good! And yes, it has been "her way, or the highway."
(((((Julia))))) Another of the beautiful English lasses! W has dabbled with knitting at times. No socks, though!
naej, I get to hog the quilt now! I wouldn't mind if I didn't! Sometimes I have to fight with the cat, though!
(((((BobbiJo))))) Hugs for you! You are a strong woman!
(((((Mishelle))))) I do think she may be realizing that she might have something to lose. I don't think she ever thought I would do that. I have to say, for a long time she was right. Hence where we are.
Keep mending!
OK, so today....
I took S10 to his game, made S14 come along, S20 joined us, in his uniform, as he had to attend the Marine Corp birthday Ball tonight. After the game we ate lunch together at Applebees, then S20 went on his way (after being positively greeted by several people at the game, and in the restaurant) and we headed to the theater to watch Twilight. While we were waiting in line, W called to talk to me! W NEVER calls me from work unless it is about the kids, and then rarely. NEVER. She again brought up the division of labor. The more I think about it, the more I think she is wrong, though in her mind she is right. And she will be able to justify it. I just told her I wanted to think about it, since I do! I want to be sure. I think the problem is that since there are some things that she things should be done, or done in a certain way (we do have different standards) and she ends up doing the work to do those things, she probably ends up doing quite a bit more. On the other hand, I don't think she realizes how much I do actually do. I am going to look at what I do, and don't do. If there are some things that I can do to help the way she feels, I think it is worth it. But, every time I've tried this in the past, the bar just gets raised. So, I am a bit apprehensive. I may actually talk to her about this. Now that I have a little power back, she might not stonewall as she has in the past.
Then she said that she wanted me to take care of arranging MC for after the new year. With someone not associated with my C's office. I can do that.
So, I think the letter absolutely accomplished it's purpose. It got her attention, and seems to have gotten things moving. At this point, I truly think that things could move in either direction, but they are going to move. That has to be a good thing!
Jeff, I'm glad she wants to do MC, and that she called you (mini 180) to discuss. However, a flag goes up for me that she will not initiate. My STBX complained about every MC I selected, until I finally said, "Fine, you pick them and make the appointments!" He never bothered. And here we are. The point, FWIW, people don't get better until they ask for their own help. 'Nuff said. love ya Jeff, Goldey
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
