Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives The Soap Suds are out of the tub.

The snow is really coming down. It isn't on the roads yet, but is on the grass.

Was listening to one of the local pastors on the TV. He just told a joke,

There are two little boys one is an optimist and one is a pessimist. The pessimist little boy is put in a room with a bunch of new toys, they come back 2 hours later and all the toys were torn up and broke. The little boy said this is awful none of the toys work they are all broke.
The optimist little boy is put in a room full of horse manure. They come back 2 hours later and the little boy is covered in manure, it is in his ears, his nose, and all over him. They ask the little boy what are you doing? The optimist little boy says, with all of this horse manure there has to be pony in here somewhere.

Morning MT. How much snow are you supposed to get? They are saying 3 inches for us and it is just starting to come down.

I have to agree with all that Kel has said. Although I am still coming to grips with what I have learned this weekend, I know that the only way I will survive is to rediscover who I am and let go of who I was in my old M. It's gone. Hopefully we can get past what has happened and make a better life. I guess the good thing at this point is that H says he wants to try and is willing to do what it takes. He says he loves me and that he is very sorry. Those are positives.

He also told me that if it takes me being able to look through his phone every night he will do that to help me. lol

Know what guys, I really believe you guys are why I didn't find this place sooner. We needed to be here for each other.

Hope, I really am glad he finally told you. Maybe now there can be forward progress.

MT-maybe a little space will be good for you guys. Your H is just so confused. Give him the time and space he needs and see what happens. Just find yourself in the process. And don't worry about your weight. You are beautiful. It isn't like you are 400 lbs or anything. A woman I know has spent 20 years playing that weight waiting game. And I have listened to excuse after excuse as to why she wasn't losing weight, Polycyctic ovarian syndrome, slow metabolism, the latest is diabetes. I have alwasy wanted to say, could it be that you eat an entire large pizza alone in about 10 minutes at least 3 times a week? But I"m not that rude. My point is, stop making excuses and if you want the clingy shirt, go buy it. Wear it. Stop waiting for tomorrow. It is great to have goals, but what about the everyday little pleasures? IMO those are what truly make us happy.

I don't think we are supposed to get much that will stay, most has already melted away now on the grass even. We have probably gotten around 3/4 of an inch on the deck, but everything else is melting.

I have no illusions about my weight, no one has ever forced me to eat, that is for sure. I could write a book on that one. People just die when they hear the doctor told my mom when I was 5 or so to put locks on the doors in the kitchen. The cabinets and refrigerator were all padlocked with yellow plastic chains. I can still remember my mom running down the road with the buggy whip behind me so I would run too. Another doctor suggestion. I don't blame my mom and dad, they were just doing what the doctor's said to do. I think if they would have left me alone I would have probably come out of it, but because everyone was so focused on what I ate and I never got any treats, it made me want the stuff more. But that is something I have to deal with too, and it will never go away. I have really let myself during this time eat whatever I want, and I just haven't eaten as much of anything.

Before this I would have never bought the Dorothy costume, because I was too big, it would be better when I was thinner. This year I figured screw it, i want to be Dorothy and I did it. I am not a clingy shirt type of person...LMAO. I hate it when SD wears something that is so tight that you can see every roll. I am not in to that, but there are things that I have not bought because I think it would look better on a thin person.

Today, I have been good, haven't heard anything from H this morning, I am worried about him, but I won't call him. He is supposed to bring the truck by, I figure he will watch the Chiefs with me this afternoon, but he may not. She didn't call when we were together on Friday and Saturday, so I won't bother him today.

I know we were all brought together in this place for a reason. For you guys to give me good advice!! LOL. have a great afternoon...GO CHIEFS!!

I have actually written 2 pages of my 8 page paper!! WOO WHOO!

Actually I think we all have things to share with each other that even if we can't fix what is happening in each other's lives we can help with coping, and trying to make each other see what we need to do.

hey girl! gosh its windy and cold here! just gettin here, long nite didnt go to bed til after 4 church at 9 thanksgiving with my family at noon. ugh.

I really hope he shows up to watch the game with you. if he doesnt, we can chat or something, i am gonna watch it for sure!

yep for sure we all need eachother!

H just ran to the store to get some and salsa, going to cook some chips. H is staying at OW's house. I asked today when we were talking about him watching Kansas City's Fox channel. I said where are you staying? H says at her house. I said Oh, H says that is why I don't like to stay there very long. I was thinking GEEZE, but I liked that comment. H says that is why I want a place of my own. Right now I like coming here, I don't feel like I have to be here, and that feels good. It is fun to be with you. We have fun together, and I like that. H said do you still want me to come here, I said yeah, if you want to. I don't want you to come if you feel like you have to be. H said, I don't, I like being with you. I think he just needs to think some things through right now.

Have to go start cooking chips.

GO CHIEFS!!! Thanks BG- I am good right now! Take care and enjoy your eating!!

Evening all-

CHIEFS WON!!!! YEAH!!!! Miracles do happen!!

H just left. I think we are in a good place. I hope anyway. Right now I feel that we are more relaxed and having more fun together than even last week. I hope that is good anyway. Even without the sex, there is a lot more affection than what H was showing before. H only showed affection during sex before, and when he would leave he had stopped kissing or hugging me. Just out of the blue when I was in the kitchen cooking pecan tarts H was kissing me and messing with me. H told me that he is having a great time with me. When he left he told me thank you for a great day. Which is funny, when we would go to bed, I would always tell H thank you for a wonderful day. It got to be a habit, not really meaning anything like it should have. Now it does mean more.

H is hoping the lady he used to work for will let him rent a duplex, and maybe work some off for her doing odd jobs as her husband has died, so he won't have to pay as much a month.

I feel better than even last week, just because I feel he wants to be around me. If he didn't I don't think he would come over.

Makes me laugh, before he was always leaving here to be there at OW's house, now he is leaving there to be with me and not wanting to be there at OW's house. Which I think says a lot about his confusion. He does need somewhere he can be alone.

Morning MT,

I was happy to hear that you got some of your paper done, that you had a nice evening with H and the Chiefs won! You're on a roll kid.

I thought of you yesterday. I was reading the book Not Just Friends, and somewhere in there it talks about confusion and when a H caught in a situation where "he can't choose" between the W and the OW has really already chosen. If he wanted her, he would be with her now. I thought that was interesting because it's how I have felt all the long from the things that you have said. Keep doing the things that you are doing. You have all that he wants. He has gotten himself into a spot with her and he has got to decide for himself that he needs to work himself out of it.