Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Wife have moved out with my son..........now what

NW626,

I will be praying for you and your son. I'm so sorry that you have to be separated from him right now, as we can all tell how much you love him, how much he needs you, and what a good heart you have.

I truly hope that everything works out for the best for you and your S.

I will pray that she listens to your reasons for wanting to do the best for your son, and that she can be gracious in those moments. Be strong, and everything will be ok in the end. You are a good man, and God knows that. One day, she'll remember that as well, even if it no longer matters to you.

And I wanted to thank you for offering so much support to me. It truly helps in so many ways. Thank you.

~Nas

I'm glad you saw a lawyer...it's always better to know where you stand.

Try not to worry about her reaction. The most important thing is to do what you think is right, not what will make her happy. If she is truly bipolar, no amount of evidence, reason, logic, etc. will change her mind. That is the pathology of bipolar disorder. Untreated mental illness can destroy the life of the victim and everyone around her/him.

Look out for yourself and your son. If you do those two things, the rest will fall into place.

Be strong,

Nut

Thanks Nut
I will definitely look after S and myself.
Strangely, W just told me that she is coming back to ATL tonight for work stuff. I guess she will stay till Friday then leave with son over the weekend. She did ask my permission to stay in the house. I said OK.
Funny, I feel really calm even this will be the first time we meet since September if she really shows up. She didn't last time.
I guess the detaching is working. I just see her as a house guest, that's it. I don't even have any expectation tonight.

Very Very strange.

NW626

Hi NW:
I was surprised to read that she has the right to take your child across the state line - that just was not expected at all...I wonder if it's worth looking into that a bit further - though I do see the wisdom in taking care of your interests before she has set up residency.

Hope it goes okay tonight - and that she doesn't try to bait you into R/M talk or any type of tension. Good idea to see her as just a guest in the house.

Be strong, my friend - and let us know how we can be there for you.

-Carlos.

NW626,

Just checking on you. How are you doing? How is the visit with your son going?

Keep us posted...

Beth

Beth
The visit is great.
He probably will stay little longer since W is in town this morning for work stuff.
It will be an interesting weekend for sure.
I have no game plan as far as W part. I will just go with the flow. Let her take the lead on all subjects, listen and validate.
Now she is just a house guest.
Until further notice, the toilet seat is staying up...!!

NW626

NW626,

You made me laugh with the toilet seat. Good for you, It's probably a 180 for you to do that right?

I think you have a great approach to the weekend. If you need anything, come on here and post. Otherwise, just keep up the PMA and let us know how it goes.

Beth

Hi NW -
I don't know if you'll be checking in over the weekend - but I just wanted to throw some support your way and remind you to focus on your and your son...you are improving yourself and your life for the two of you now. Be kind to your wife, as I know you always are - but remain lovingly detached.

Thinking about you, my friend.
-Carlos.

NW626,

Just wanted to let you know I have been thinking about you and your son. Hope the visit is still going well and that things have been calm with your "house guest."

Beth

Carlos, Beth
Thanks for your supports. It means a lot to me.
You all have no idea...thank you.

Journal
It has been strange weekend.
S3 has been with me since last week. We have a blast. I love him more than anything.
W came back to ATL for work stuff on Friday. She stayed in the house. I felt a little awkward when she came in. She looks different, may be of the weight lost. There were no physical touch, just simple 'Hi and how are you' to each other. That's all. We just had some light conversation that night, nothing really important.

As it turns out, she has bought the tickets to the SEC champ game to GA dome. Her uncle supposed to go with her but he could not make it. I ended up going to the game with her on Saturday afternoon. We had a really good time at the game. We took the train to the game and there were several times she needed to grab my hand because of big crowd moving in and out. She quickly explained to me doesn't mean to. I just told her I understand. I did not have any expectation from her anyway because I know the OM is still in the picture.

Yesterday afternoon, we had our brief (5 mins) R/M/D talk. I don't even know how it got started.
I told her that she doesn't really have to lie to me anymore about stuff in general.
I told her if we are getting a divorce, at least we can have an honest relationship going forward.
I told her that we are not H/W at this point. We are just friends.
I told her I will just make my decision based on what is best of S3.
I told her that I know the OM is still in the picture and I knew about the PA in last month.
I was really calm and confident throughout. I think she was shock that I knew the A/PA.
She was getting ready to leave for work anyway. On the way out, I apologize for the R talk because I can tell it adds stress on her. Then she said she was glad that I knew. I guess it is somewhat a weight off her shoulder, but who knows.
Through this brief R talk, I have shown her that I am OK with or without her. On the other hand, I think I backslide a bit and got suck into the R talk.

She should be leaving tonight with S3. I am not sure what will happen next.
One positive note, she has scheduled IC next week. Hopefully IC will be helpful for her.
I will just keep on detaching/GAL.
That's right......toilet seat is still staying up.

NW626