He is accusing you of cheating???? Funny how these MLCers can accuse the LBS of cheating when it is they who have cheated.
Yes, we are here to support you.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
You sound so sad in your post!!!! I'm so sorry that your H got angry with you & accused you of cheating!! That is terrible.
Try not to think about it!!!! You need to just take a deep breath & remember, he is not the man you married right now. That man may come back or he may not, but you need to continue doing what you are doing & have very little contact with him for now. He WILL realize one of these days that you are the only one he can trust.
Keep praying!!!!
I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!! I'm thinking about you!!!
Truelove I wish to thank you, you are a great friend to me on these boards and always pop by and post to me. I think we have been at this more or less the same time, I am personally at a stage now where I could be ex's friend should he ever want me to be, but I feel he got himself into something he cant get out of. Just keep being strong truelove because I truly believe that one day these men are going to see and regret what they left behind and remember all the nasty words and actions throughout, they will be sorry honey but dont let him get you down, love and hugs always
Hi YR, MWG, mandyloo and nlt, Thanks for your nice posts and support. nlt: You were right – I was sad. It seems to me that my H is getting crazier as time goes by and I am very sad about that. I really don't recognize him and his behaviour anymore.
I met some nice people at the club's meeting and on Friday I will go to their Christmas Party. I am looking forward to it.
At the moment it is very cold and freezing at night, and the cars all get frozen over when they stand outside for a while at night. I just hate to scrape the wind screen when I have to drive home at night.
A few days ago H wrote accusing me of something and saying that it was mainly my own fault why he left. Then he wrote again regarding some "business" things we agreed on. He also mentioned that somebody suggested something regarding the D settlement, and he replied that he does not wish me anything bad and that he wouldn't do such a thing as I was the woman he once loved more than anything in the world. (A few weeks ago he wrote he loved me so much that he would have gone through hell for me.)
I really don't understand why he suddenly starts writing sentences like these when we are in the middle of D! It also makes me so sad that H did not intend to work at our M although he once loved me so much, as he said. – It just does not make sense to me at all – but then what makes sense in a MLC mind!
Snodderly, if you read this would it be possible for you to explain why H has written this lately?- Thanks. – I really think that he will never come back. After all these years he is still accusing me of being the reason for our problems. To start with he at least said it was only half my fault, now he has increased that!
True, Your h is in mlc, thus, he's a mixed up guy who is seeing the world in tunnel vision. You have to take everything he says w/a grain of salt right now. He feels pressured, i.e., divorce, real estate, etc. It's self imposed pressure and you are not the reason for it.
Give him a wide berth and do not step into his drama! He's really out there and needs to be left alone to stew in his own pot of juices. Do not attempt to rescue him. He's got to hit bottom on his own.
His projections are quite out there and he's trying to project everything on to you. Do not accept them as your own!
Leave him be and do step back from his drama. One thing...try to stop defending yourself and/or explaining to him why you are doing things. Keep your responses friendly, but straight to the point.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I swear these men are bipolar or have a form of schizophrenia!
TL: He is really out there and blowing with the wind.
I hope you have a nice day tomorrow. He is so miserable and it has nothing to do with you. All we can do is pray for them.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) sweety, I'm so sorry he's still blaming you. Snodderly is right, it's him projecting..you are a wonderful lady and I think that deep down he truly knows that. Hence his comments about how much he loved you.
Take care sweety and have fun at the Christmas party.
Oh by the way, I agree about the window scraping...I'm not all that tall and drive an SUV...boy, sometimes I can't even reach halfway, the other day in the snow I was just too cold to even try scraping them clean, but I guess what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger ! x
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Hi Snodderly, Thank you for your explenatory post, it is most appreciated. It helped me to remember his projecting.
No, I don't defend myself anymore, I gave that up some time ago. I just ignored most of his e-mail and replied only to the "business" part of it. - I just hope for him that he will hit bottom soon. He seems to be so lost.
Hi MWG and Cinders, Thank you for your comforting words and compliment. I do appreciate your posts so much.
Cinders: I am also not so tall but my car is not so high that I could not reach the roof.I tried to wash it once in summer and got myself very wet. That was the first and last time I washed the car at home!
Oh, I almost forgot to mention: On Tuesday I met some new people at the club I went to, and I used "X husband" for the first time in my life. It felt strange to say it, but I guess I have to get used to it. When people asked me what I did, I tried not to talk about what H and I did but talked more about what I did.
