Things have been really great lately. My H has been here with me on a much more regular basis and going to the bars very little compared to what he used to.
We are healing. It is wonderful. We had a great holiday season together and have become very close over the past two months especially.
H and I are talking about moving back in with each other. It has been 9 long months of piecing and I didnt push the issue but I wanted to see it happen. I hope it works out for us.
We are talking about buying my deceased grandmothers old house that my rents have held onto for 3 yrs and are ready to sell.
We were gonna buy it two yrs ago right before he left me for the first time. I never would have expected to get this chance again, and I am so greatful.
Things have been getting better and better every day.
My H is slowly moving his stuff into my townhouse until we are ready to move and buy my G-ma's house in about a month or so.
We have been working on her old place since we agreed to buy it. Now we have some plans and are spending time getting our living situation in order.
It seems like it took forever, Two years of roller coaster and now I can finally see an end to this crisis. I can see my end goal in sight. I really want us to live together again and get back to a comfortable healthy lifestyle like we used to have. We are closer than ever now. I actually think he has come through this MLC.
We are however, both changed forever due to what we have been through. I know it was an eye opener for me. And Sometimes I still cry and get down on myself for ever having to go through such trauma. It has changed so many aspects of my life. Some for the worse and some for the better. But overall, I am happy again.
I worked so hard to get here and now it is unreal, I almost feel like I am dreaming. I still have nightmares almost regularly about him leaving me again. I would be so crushed. I pray we can make it last.
I will pop in from time to time to tell my progress, but I dont check in as much anymore. I am so focused on my H and I mending and healing and moving back in with each other.
I am doing great. Our M is doing great. Our new house is coming along good. We still have a long ways to go with the remodeling but it will be worth it.
We have bit off a little more than we expected at first and now we will be working on the house longer than expected before we can move in. Every night we work on it from 4-9 together.
We have gone to a few auctions and gotten cheap but good quality carpets and linolium floors for almost the entire down stairs. We also got some cheap windows we installed last night. And now we are adding walls and focusing on electrical.
What a process. But a good process. We have also been really busy with my H's band. They just started getting paid gigs at new local bars and restaurants and they are booked solid for about two months every friday and saturday. So it has been interesting. I go to support him and his band. But I dont know the crowd so well and feel a bit out of place. It is still a fun night though. I just wish sometimes I felt like I fit in more with his new crowd. I do my best. Cheers, TIPPER
Hi Tipper! What great news! I would think that working on such a big project together, remodeling a house for the 2 of you to live in, would be a big test for your R. And if that's going well, that's a good sign!
Are you living together now? Has he been drinking much?
Things are going well for me too, with a few snags here and there, of course! I need to update my thread or start a new one soon.
He is still drinking but it is no where near as much as he was before. He has slowed down considerably but I dont know if it is just becuase of our remodeling project keeping him out of the bars. I guess I will see when we are all done and moved in whether or not he is still craving that bar setting.
My H has been extremely happy lately. He is happy about our new house and our progress. He is happy about his band and all the gigs they are being booked for every week end. He is happy that he has so many new great friends.
Meanwhile, I have been struggleing with the loss of some of my close friends from our past. They just cant accept my H and what he did. Therefore, they have been very distant and I am not asked to be a bridesmaid in one of my old best friends wedding party. It has hurt me bad. I feel insulted and rediculous.
I was the one telling my h that his friends were not true when he first came back to me. But they are good friends to him. And my friends have dropped me.
Things have been so great lately. I am so happy to have this chance at piecing.I hope we make it last.
I have still been struggleing with the distance many of my friends have been showing me. The girls I used to hang with every week are now just people I see every now and then (maybe once a month at best). It stinks. They dont like my H and he has all new friends that keep him really busy. So I feel so torn.
My H has been drinking pretty heavily again lately. It is scarey but at the same time it seems different than his old ragefull drinking binges. Right now he is happy and just so freaking popular in our town that every one calls him to go get drinks. He has no will power to say no. So he is binging but he has also been telling me that he has no interest in anyone else and that he is faithfull to me. He tries to reassure me that its always a suasage fest and that he missed me.
Last night I kind of got mad at him going out again.I told him that it makes me feel like I am just this person that is standing between him and what he really wants to be doing (and that would be drinking at a bar). I stopped myself though and said "dont worry I will just keep myself busy, and we will see each other - whenever", then I walked away and said I didnt want to have this conversation when he is drunk.
Every time I do GAL activities that are healthy - I have to worry about him ALWAYS going out to the bars. I never know who he is with or what he is doing at the bars for so long - but he will spend all night there until I come home and call. It stinks. It makes me feel like I dont want to go out and do my own thing for fear of loosing him to the bar scene again.
My H and I have now been back together for a year and a month working at peicing our marriage back together.
It is definetly worth the work. Sometimes I question that, but then I stop and remember the way I felt so terrible when we were apart. I am so much better now and much happier with life in general than when he was gone.
It is not easy. I am often worried and suffer with offering forgiveness easily. I keep a lot of my fears to myself and sometimes they eat me alive. But then, after time passes I always end up realizing that I didnt need to be worried to begin with.
H and I are bonding well and doing new things for our relationship. Our life has changed so much over this past 3 years. The hardest part right now for me is that I feel like I have lost so many of my old friends. They are all still nice, but they do not call and invite us very many places. Now we hang out with so many new people. None of them feel as good or as real or as close as my old group of friends were to us. Oh well. I cant change it. Anyone else go through that? Thanks, Tipper
