I was very curious what H was thinking during the sermon but I didn't want to come off as self-righteous b/c I have in the past (although in all honesty he IS the one who cheated). But anyway, I just kept my eyes glued on the pastor and so did he.
I was thrown a few times this weekend and ran hot/cold with H. Sunday morning I told him sorry if I was acting crazy but the way we are living is so strange....he said no he was the one acting crazy and he needed to get it together...
H came up at 10:30 last night while I was baking for school (potluck today) and was giving me crap about some cookies I had made, he was almost in that flirty giving me sh!t way....I just rolled with it, turned around and literally kicked him in the butt...
I don't know which is harder. ON the one hand I can't imagine thoe of you whose spouses just up and walked and never looked back, never were even the least bit tender to you again....although sometimes I wonder if that helps you detach.
anyway..you wonder what he was thinking..he was probably thinking about all the pastor said and how it related to him. He probably wonders why he can't fix it himself, why he has no direction..why he needs OW. How he will miss the kids and half his possessions. How he's feels out of control and covered up all the time. Why he feels stress..he wonders if he's normal in how he feels. He wonders why he is such an ass. He wonders why you are toughing this out..
see as your Bro Woog has said time and time again..he's broke..you go swimming in that pumpkin of his and you would probably be sick..
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I don't know which is harder. ON the one hand I can't imagine thoe of you whose spouses just up and walked and never looked back, never were even the least bit tender to you again....although sometimes I wonder if that helps you detach.
been there done both..it sucked in the house with Kim..especially after the rebomb..I'll say it sucks less now because I deal with her less, and less and less...
The lumpy thing was in reference to the fact that BBJ said something like I will be a lump here for 30 minutes....no more lumpy for BBJ. Which is harder? I guess if you fall in one cagtegory you think the other is easier. It is all hard in my opinion. After reading K's last post, that sums up so well the "live in" challenges....sure did bring back some old memories. With my experience and some of what I have read here, if I had to generalize, I would say living under the same roof is NOT the way to go. I really can not see any "long term" advantages. For the LBS it could even be worse because we tend to look at every little action (or lack thereof) and amplify it. We may also do the same when not under the same roof but the interactions are much fewer.
The lumpy thing was in reference to the fact that BBJ said something like I will be a lump here for 30 minutes....no more lumpy for BBJ. Which is harder? I guess if you fall in one cagtegory you think the other is easier. It is all hard in my opinion. After reading K's last post, that sums up so well the "live in" challenges....sure did bring back some old memories. With my experience and some of what I have read here, if I had to generalize, I would say living under the same roof is NOT the way to go. I really can not see any "long term" advantages. For the LBS it could even be worse because we tend to look at every little action (or lack thereof) and amplify it. We may also do the same when not under the same roof but the interactions are much fewer.
It's easier when they are just gone. I was thinking about how I would handle it if Nicole had given me even an ounce of hope and I know it would have been worse.
He is broken.... Don't let him drag you down... You are awesome and you know it. If my wife had kicked me in the rear I'd have turned around and smooched her.... The cookies would have been shocked at what happened next.....
sigh......i swore i would stay away from this place, but.....
hi bobbiejo! i just want to give you a big hug. i admire your strength so much, and i can also relate to the broken, crazy state of your h. it's like you try to dance to their crazy tune and you feel like an idiot. nothing you do will please them as there will always be something "wrong". i'm not even sure that it's possible to db when your h is nuts.
as far as it being "easier" for those of us with a was who never looked back.....i would say no. it's very hurtful for someone to leave without any real, or a very lame, explanation. it's just awful to know that they are capable of doing something like that.
and in my case, which is just about over with, he went on to do things that he used to make fun of. he hooked up with(rescued)a single soccer mom, moved in with her and her two kids, and bought two big, obnoxious vehicles.
we just had our property settlement conference, and when i walked into the offices, he wouldn't even look at me. no eye contact, nothing. how can they do that? it's just so hateful.
Hey Kimmie! Glad to 'see' you again! I lost you for awhile, sounds like you went off the boards...
I can't do much now. I am feeling a bit of peace these past few days, I have just given my situation over to God. Nothing I did seemed to help, anyway. I don't spend my whole day/life worrying about H or how to help him, how to fix us, etc. I can't do it, so I need to stop trying...
Now if I didn't have a raging sinus infection it might be a nice day...
