Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Am I Walking Now?

Well, someone had to encourage me; cause I can be kinda soft toward the W. But I'm going to post in a few minutes about last night; it was entertaining to say the least.

Oh...
I'm only warm inside; last night it was 22 outside and it's only 36 right now. WAAAAAYYYYYYY below normal for us.

Thanks BG. See ya

uh well see, the colds my fault, you asked for it I sent it lol!! I am sure you night was entertaining, I will pop some popcorn and sit back and wait lol!!

you taking the kids to the movie?

An update....

Yesterday after work I went straight out to eat with a guy friend from work (sorry BG, no Man love going on); anyway I was there by 5pm and had a couple of beers in a really nice place on the river across from downtown. Ate some really good seafood as well; as good as can be expected this far from shore. My friend plays lead guitar in a band; and we were heading to a house party where they were playing.

So I get a text from the W at 6:24pm while I'm on the way to the house party. "Hey any idea what time u might b home"

I ignored it.

7:06pm W texts "Hello?"
I responded: "Hello to you 2"

7:08pm W texts "do u have any idea what time u might b home? No biggie just need to let rob know wether or not to put me on vip list for christy's b day party"
I replied: "Not sure, band just got started."

7:10pm W texts "OK..no prob have fun"
I replied "k"

7:36pm W texts "StepF and mom r going to watch the kidz i'm dropin them off around 9:30p will u b able to pick them up or do they need to spend the night?"
I replies "whatever they want"

7:39pm W texts "OK..Call on ur way home and they'll let u know."
I replied "k"

I stayed at the party and had a great time. I didn't drink very much because I was extremely tired; I only had a couple of beers at the party. My friend is an excellent blues guitarist; so it was great to listen and just be away for a while.

I left the party about 10:50pm and headed back to our country town. I called the MIL and asked if I needed to pick up the kids; she said the D was already sleeping and S was having a good time with G.pa. So I went home and enjoyed some solitude.

Went to be about midnight and at 12:30am W texts me again. This is a first because she NEVER texts me when she's out. Even when things were so-so in the M. W asks "R u ok? Get home ok?"

I replied "Yeah, I'm ok. Why do you ask? I'm home safely."
W responds "Excuse me for askin...just figured u had a little to drink.

Me: "You're fine for asking...just unusual that's all."
W: "OK..That's why I hate txt msging"

Me: "Because you can't tell the tone of voice?"
W: "Yeah."

Me: "I can understand you on that."

W texts 20 min. later. "OK have a good nite hope u had a good time."
I didn't respond. and there has been no contact since.

So I didn't buckle and give into her schedule; but it's funny how she moved heaven and earth to get out of the house. Talked with StpFIL this morning when I went to get the kids; he was laughing about the whole thing. He said that she started calling and explaining that I was going to be home at 11:30 (that's a lie because I never told if I was EVEN coming home)and that her friend was in tears because she couldn't make the party. StpFIL told her that he couldn't make the decision to keep the kids; that W would have to call her mom and ask. So according to StpFIL, the W called about 5 different extensions at her mom' workplace trying to locate her and ask. It's obvious that MIL said yes. But I'm not sure how much reality hit the W last night since she was still able to manipulate to do what she wanted.

What really pi$$ed me off was that when I got there this morning; my D did not have any clothes to wear. The W dropped her off in thin sleep wear with a coat. It was 18 freakin' degrees last night. Oh well!!!

Took the kids and StpFIL to Waffle House this morning. Treated him for his trouble and kind spirit.

I actually enjoyed not giving into her last night; kind of empowering. But the real surprise was the contact that she made last night from her night out. I'm not kidding, that's the FIRST time she's ever initiated contact like that. In the past, it was me texting her, all pi$$y and wondering when she was coming home. It was interesting nonetheless.

Stay warm guys.

Good for you not giving in to her...I was suspicious that she might try using the kids to keep you home!! Maybe that's a 180 and maybe that's why she texted???? Maybe she's thinking she might should be concerned that you won't always be at home waiting for her. And, maybe, in the vein of being more mysterious, you shouldn't have told her you were home when she did text. Just something to think about for next time!!!

Congrats and glad you had fun1111

Amy

so glad you didnt give in!!! YAY for you!! I agree with amy on her thinking of w's motives, altho, we all know to not even try to think and figure them out!

so proud of you my friend!

Ya know; I actually thought about that as I was replying; but I still let her know. Next time I think I won't give her the info unless it concerns care of the children.

Do you remember H's reaction the 1st time I didn't call the boys? And, do you by chance remember your advice to me that night? You said something like..."Wait a while to respond to his text...make him really wonder what's up with you!" I remember it cause you were the only person that responded that night to my frantic post about his texting and calling!

I think this was the same sort of deal for you. And, I think it's good for W to start really seeing how things might be.

In "divorced world," she'll have to be responsible for the kids on her days, and calling you at the end of the day and asking you to come home early so she can go out won't be an option.

She's been living every WAS's fantasy for a few months now...living for herself and not be asked to be responsible for anything. She needs to begin processing what D might mean to her lifesytle.

Just my $0.02!!!1111 You did good.

Amy

{{{{Tom}}}} Hooray..so glad you got to enjoy your evening with minimal interruptions..I bet the blues guitar was very cool

I like what Amy said about being even more mysterious next time..but you did great and glad you had an empowering moment

Tawnya

You are absolutely correct. This is a textbook case of how it's always easier to tell someone what to do when you're removed from the sitch; but it's hard to DB on the fly when 1) you're emotionally involved, and 2) you're extremely tired and surprised by what is actually occurring.

Thanks Amy. You're a sweetie111

Flattery will get you everywhere!!!!