Yeah..Tom..I have a feeling hub will get that "reality slap" too if he really hasn't already..when he even thinks about trying to find somewhere to stay..in reality, it's not possible, for MOST people, in the best of circumstances, to have 2 households and not have at least one of them suffer, if not both..
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
((((Tawnya))))! I'm glad you went to the see the attorney. You might not feel it now, but at some point, you may be really glad you did it and did it early.
I'd pray about putting together a settlement agreement...about whether or not to do it. I told H he'd have to do ours (which he did and delivered to my work email today!) because I didn't agree with the D on any level. But, in my case, H is feeling pretty guilty still so I knew I'd come out better if he did it! I'm too nice, and I might have let some things slide that he included! So, now he can't argue them...that's good for me!!!
Just don't be too nice, Tawnya...I think you and I might have a thing or 2 in common, and the truest thing folks here have said about the settlement is that it's no time to be nice...it's all business!!!
Keep praying...that will get you through...and, keep trying to get together with the friend for the coffee.
Love you! Amy
p.s. I heard you might be taking a trip in December! I really hope so!!!
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
{{{Amy}}}} Yeah I tend to agree with you (on a lot of things really LOL) but definitely about the letting hub do it part..I will mention that to him as he does/would mention more about getting serious about moving..I had read that on a few threads that you all made the spouse do most of the "legalese" because they are the ones that want it..and I feel that way too..
Yeah I will be nice, but fair on our end as well, hopefully hub will be too
Yes, my plan is to go on that trip..I asked off for that weekend, so, except for the fact hub will be gone and I'll have extreme mom guilt for leaving S12 and D17 here alone for 2 days, that is my only hinderance LOL
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
No extreme mom guilt allowed!!! The best way to be a really great mom is to take care of yourself, and a couple of days away just for you would do wonders for your mental health!!!
No pressure...just saying!!!
Hugs! Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
If H makes the first move with a settlement don't be suprised if it looks REAL good for him! My W asked for impossible stuff...and threatened me if I didn't sign! She never filed anything...it was basically I sign...her L makes 1 trip to court and ...blammo!! The uncontested divorce SHE wants!! Kinda crappy stuff to think about...but you gotta..
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
"Accept your reality" One of the things that I have heard a lot since this began. It really hurts but it is like an accident. Nothing you can do, it just happened.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
