She talks to her parents, but I am not sure her parents know the whole story of what is happening. I plan on speaking to them in a week after W and D16 leave for a soccer tournament in California and then a week (with a couple of D16's friends) in PHX.
Unfortunately, W has shunned her former close friends that have good sense - my take is because they did not agree with her.
wdid (and others) - a question. I saw your post on H4H's thread about showing emotion. If anything, I have tried to be calm and not show emotion. Should I consider the possibility of altering that? Yes, W is looking for me to flip - so certainly do not want to do that. But what else? OR should I just continue to show by example.
Some of the things W asked me and has said to others (asking if I am filing for D, telling others I am closing bank accounts and hiding $$ in prep for D) - is she worried I may do this?
I don't know. Maybe just too much stinkin thinkin for a Friday.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Yep, shunning.....that I did...only wanted to be around people that didn't make me feel guilty about what I was doing.
She doesn't know what you are doing. You guys aren't talking. So, her guilty sneaky mind is thinking you are being sneaky.
Calm is good. Can you show other emotion and remain calm? If so, I'd do it. The last thing you want right now is to blow up and do something you don't want to do. You want her to know that what you are doing/have done is because you love her and want to be with her and want to save your marriage. That is impossible if there is a 3rd party. So, showing emotion to back that up would be a good thing I think. Don't expect reciprocation. I know you got the Love Dare. In it, there are things you will do that show love but aren't sit down conversations professing that love so that should be good.
oh yes tom, so sorry she found out about me and you lol!!
Hey LIS. uh just cause you are home now, please take your artic temps back ok???
Hugs great big girly ones lol!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Except for the fact that I've ALWAYS had a great time in Canada; even when it was -38 on New Year's Eve in Kingston, I don't know how y'all take it all winter!!!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
(((Lost))) Sorry things arent any better. Sounds to me like she is in a bit of panic mode. Between the realization that OMW may now know and you no longer being willing to subsidize her fantasy, she is unsure. The balance of power is shifting and that causes things to be out of kilter. FWIW I would just continue doing what you are doing without a lot of emotion and see what she does. I would DEFINATELY have a conversation with her parents and another with your D16 before they go. I do believe W will use their time together to try and get her "on board." Hang in there.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Yep, shunning.....that I did...only wanted to be around people that didn't make me feel guilty about what I was doing.
She doesn't know what you are doing. You guys aren't talking. So, her guilty sneaky mind is thinking you are being sneaky.
Calm is good. Can you show other emotion and remain calm? If so, I'd do it. The last thing you want right now is to blow up and do something you don't want to do. You want her to know that what you are doing/have done is because you love her and want to be with her and want to save your marriage. That is impossible if there is a 3rd party. So, showing emotion to back that up would be a good thing I think. Don't expect reciprocation. I know you got the Love Dare. In it, there are things you will do that show love but aren't sit down conversations professing that love so that should be good.
((((wdid)))) Thanks. I will try that. I really have no problem with the actions - I have always found that easier than words. Will definitely give that some thought.
I have been finding it easier to remain calm, even when having shots fired directly at me. Part of it is that I am starting to feel almost sad for her more and more. But, not sad enough to give in - and my lack of giving in ticks her off!
It is interesting that much of what she accuses me of is stuff she is doing...
Originally Posted By: marriedCrazy
Quote:
She doesn't know what you are doing. You guys aren't talking. So, her guilty sneaky mind is thinking you are being sneaky.
Akin to my W telling her family that I HAVE a GF.
Or early on when my W said I was talking to OMW so much that I must be having an A with her... sheesh!
Originally Posted By: Babygirl
oh yes tom, so sorry she found out about me and you lol!!
Hey LIS. uh just cause you are home now, please take your artic temps back ok???
Hugs great big girly ones lol!
((((BG)))) we have the cold back here and the snow to boot. Sorry did the best I could for a while!
Originally Posted By: Sugar and Spice
(((Lost))) Sorry things arent any better. Sounds to me like she is in a bit of panic mode. Between the realization that OMW may now know and you no longer being willing to subsidize her fantasy, she is unsure. The balance of power is shifting and that causes things to be out of kilter. FWIW I would just continue doing what you are doing without a lot of emotion and see what she does. I would DEFINATELY have a conversation with her parents and another with your D16 before they go. I do believe W will use their time together to try and get her "on board." Hang in there.
((((S&S)))) I am hanging... Thanks for the reminder about talking to D16. Her parents - definitely. I have told W that I will not live with lies and deceit any more and intend to stick to that. I really find it disgusting that W is using the K's as she is - has them stuck right in the middle.
Panic mode may mean another legal volley, but so far that has been really effective...
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
