Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy I try to every night, all in vain...in vain

Thanks guys. I'm doing ok today. I'm just not going to focus on what I can't change. This is not my mess and I can't worry about it anyway. I have way too much other stuff to fill my time with.

I love you guys

Hey my SIL you take care of you!!! I am thinking of you today, sorry that the brothers two are the way they are, but WE are gonna be just fine!!
lots of love to you today.

Good attitude to have, sugar!

Definately a good attitude to have!

Well its an improvement over my recent attitude and is getting back to the "old" me. I spoke to my SIL the other night and she made that very comment. She was telling me how she had noticed how much weight I have lost and how Iam changing the way I deal with her brother and my general person. Her comment was, "You're almost my old Corey again." It was really sweet, but it really spoke to me about how much I have changed over the 20 years we have been together. Who I was at the beginning, who I became and who I'm becoming again. It was nice to hear but sad at the same time.

BTW...the snark and sarcasm have always been pretty constant. Just so ya know.

Atta girl.

I feel the same way. 21 years of my life were spent with this man. I changed during the relationship just like anyone would, however I became someone over the last couple of years that even I wouldn't like. Coping with the Affair was sooo difficult and I was losing who I was. I feel myself becoming each day more and more like the kat I used to actually like, that had the world wide open with possiblities!

Hugs hon, you and I are going to make it!

kat

We will. We don't have a choice. This is definately not the way I would have CHOSEN to start making the needed changes in my life, but I just have to believe that this is all part of God's plan. This had to happen this way for a reason. If I don't believe that...then I might have to snap and go freakin' postal. I'm talking on the news, America's Most Wanted, Joke Fodder for Leno Postal!!!! So I just gotta believe.

It's kind of like when they say "your worst dream would be to wake up and realize that it's not just pms, but your real personality".
You lose that person due to the comfort of life, etc and now it's time for us to find ourselves.

Thats right. I had gotten that book "Hes Just Not That Into You" a couple of months ago and read it and passed it around here at my office. The other day I found a HJNTIY book that is "your daily wake-up call" and I love it.

Here are some highlights:
"Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone."
"A friend of mine was on a first date with a woman who mentioned she was also dating a married man. He immediately told her there wouldn't be a second date, because if she didn't like herself enough to be in a proper relationship, why should he?"
"A standard is setting a level for yourself of what you will or won't tolerate. You get to decide how it's going to be for you. You can now design the person you want to be in the future, and the standards you want to have. Make sure you know what you stand for and what you belive in."


Information that should be distributed to every OW/OM or people contemplating this behavior.

"Cheaters never prosper." (because they suck)
"I know things seem a lot eaiser when your affair is with a man whose wife if an evil, shrieking, insluting hag. No matter what their relationship or circumstances are, you are still helping a man cheat on his wife. Let's agree your're better than that."
"(The "But he's really a good person" excuse) This is no joke, and I'm not even going to try to be glib. You want love and you want to be loved and you think you've finally foiund it. But he's married. Please try not to ignore that fact. He's married to someone else. I know you're different, and it's different, but the fact it, he's still married. If there's only one red flag you are unable to ignore in your entire life, please make it this one. There's simply too much at stake for everyone involved."
"Unless he's all yours, he's still hers."
"Don't be THAT girl."

This one cracked me up!

"(The But I've Gotten Fat Excuse) I definately think you should lose 175 pounds - in the form of your loser boyfriend. His using your weight as an excuse for cheating is not only mean, but simply not valid. If he has a problem with anything in your relationsip, he's supposed to talk to you about it, not put-his-penis-in-a-strange-vagina about it."

Here are our five suggestions on what your man could have done if he was unsatisfied in your relationship. (You'll notice, none of them include sleeping with someone else.)
1. Talk about it.
2. Write about it.
3. Sing about it.
4. E-mail about it.
5. Even put on a puppet show about it.

Not in line with DB principles, but I liked these enough to share. Its a fun book and it made me smile, so all in all it was worth the $10 bucks I spent on it.