Hey all. Not sure what thread to post to, yet. Have not read the book yet since I'm on the side of thinking that I should walk away.
I'M the one not in love anymore, I'M the one who wants it over.
We've been married 14 years. No affairs for either one of us. He was pretty much an absent (at least emotionally) father for the first 10 years. About 2 years ago, he decided to basically start smothering me to try to make our marriage better. The 10 absent years, I learned to function on my own and became very independent. Since the smothering began, we have fought non-stop. He has accused me of having an affair because he can't understand that my feelings for him have gone away. In his eyes that means they must be on someone else. Not true. In all of our fighting, I have come to the conclusion that true love is extremely rare. Marriage is entered into too lightly. I want no part of it, it has shoved me halfway out the door.
Last year we went to marriage counseling for about 4 months and he quit because he felt he was being attacked. (basically because our therapist agreed with me alot)
We have become two different people. I am on a major quest to self-improvement (physically and spiritually). He has become a thorn in my side. I dread when he's around. I am so uncomfortable when he's home. Our kids have been exposed to way too much drama. There is so much to my story, I at least need help in finding the correct thread or person to talk to.
You have children, I don't know what ages, but D affects them forever. Be sure you have left every stone unturned in trying to save your M before you walk away. Follow mC's advice those ladies know the ground you have travelled and will be kindred spirits. Good luck!
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
I tried to get him into individual counseling since he has an anxiety disorder (which triples the stress of the sitch) No luck. He denies that he needs help and then tries to turn it all back onto me. I'M the one that needs help.
Dealing with someone in denial can be like beating your head against the wall. breakaway is going through something similar. Here is her first thread,second thread,and the third and current thread I hope you find some encouragment in her situation.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
He is on meds which settle his hypochondriac symptoms. But I think starting 2 years ago, his anxiety on his body has switched to anxiety about ME! Which is why I mentioned a psychiatrist to him. Huge Veto on that one.
