Quote: Also, if his mom is truly against me, I suspect that she'll use their time in the car to try to talk him out of moving back in with me.
Ahh...PNT, don't worry about this. Our gut reaction is to defend our S. I imagine that your H will defend your honor if your mom starts talkin' smack, and in your defense he'll verbally give your MIL reasons for the two of you to be together...and verbalizing it will reinforce his decision. We all know about this funky dynamic...especially with our parents. Heck, my W still defended me during WA-mode. Look at this as an opportunity for your MIL to push your H into defending you. And if she doesn't talk smack, then it will be fine too. Either way, I don't think you can lose.
It's weird, and I know it's unfair, but I find that I can easily post about the bad stuff, but have a harder time posting about the good stuff. It's like the good stuff is too personal to post.
I'm sorry, I know that's so unfair to all who have walked this path with me.
Quoting PhoenixNTraining: ... but I find that I can easily post about the bad stuff, but have a harder time posting about the good stuff ... But please know that no news is good news.
Then I guess we should hope all stays quiet on the homefront!
... so long as you don't remain silent with H. Get comfortable expressing / sharing the good stuff with H. That's where it really counts!
So, I thought of something important that I want to tell you.
I told my husband a few weeks back that I felt like since he made his decision to come back to me...that a switch had been turned on and he was back to his old self.
He said that he felt like he was still making baby steps back towards me. Then he said that the whole time he'd been holding himself back from me, not wanting to give me false hope.
I think this has been mentioned by other Walk Aways.
I think it's pretty significant.
And it shows that in some ways, my path through all this was so much easier than his.
At one point before we were intimate, (should that be B.S.? Before Sex?) I said to husband, "Can you promise me to never do this to me again?"
He said with enthusiasm, "YES."
Then he said, "Do what?"
I laughed and said, "You can't promise not to do something and then ask what you just promised!"
I said, "Promise to never leave me again."
He laughed and said, "That's what I thought, yes, I promise that! As long as you make me happy."
(Red light flashed!)
I said, "Honey, I can't promise that. I can't make you happy...you have to make you happy. I can make us happy-er."
He seemed to get it. I'm a little concerned that he's still thinking that it's my job to make him happy. But I think if I can learn that it's my job to make me happy...and to learn HOW to make myself happy, he can learn too.
Gee...I think I'm really begining to understand the principles behind DBing.
I had signed up for a training class back in August. Well apparently, the Training Department sent my reminder to my old boss at the University. The one who terminated me to hire a friend, a guy. GRRRR.
When I arrived today for my class my name wasn't on the list. I asked them what had happened and they pulled up a sheet showing that someone had cancelled my name for the class. For some reason they hadn't written down the person's name...which is unusual for them. I told them that the only people who have authority to cancel my name are my current boss, or myself.
After about an hour of talking, we've agreed that what most likely happened was that they sent my reminder letter to my old boss (who has no authority over me!!!!!) who then called and cancelled it.
The most likely reason she would have done it was to be petty and vicious.
I sat down with my current boss and told him the situation.
He was wonderful. He gave me a pep talk. Told me she's fired a warning shot across OUR bow. Said this was most likely the last harm she could attempt to do to me.
Said he'd like to beat her up for me. And then he actually opened up to me and told me about some of the things on campus that upset him.
I told him this situation just underlines how lucky I am to be working for him and his crew. They are the opposite of her. They work hard to present a professional image. My boss has up until today, been completely business like and professional. Barely showing a bit of his personal self, while my previous boss would sob to me about how awful her long distance boyfriend was treating her.
The termination was really a good thing because I wouldn't have left if she hadn't fired me. But now I work for a better crew of people and I get paid more.
So, I'll go back to focusing on the positives..but oooo...she made me angry.
We all know about this funky dynamic...especially with our parents. Heck, my W still defended me during WA-mode. Look at this as an opportunity for your MIL to push your H into defending you. And if she doesn't talk smack, then it will be fine too. Either way, I don't think you can lose.
Before Sex?) I said to husband, "Can you promise me to never do this to me again?"
